1.\u00a0Give people permission\u00a0and space to say \u201cI\u2019m not ok.\u201d<\/p>\n
2.\u00a0Be a \u201csafe person.\u201d\u00a0Meaning, when someone musters up courage to bare their souls and expose their hearts, be trustworthy, be loving and nonjudgmental and if you can, resourceful.<\/p>\n
3. See pastors as \u201cpeople who pastor\u201d rather than \u201cpastors who are people.\u201d\u00a0There is a difference. If pastor was no longer the profession, she\/he would still be a person. Experientially I have been a staff minister (paid & volunteer) and in a few instances what I did\/my work was important but my person\/who I am did not. That\u2019s enough to send anyone over the edge. Value people not simply positions.<\/p>\n
4. Don\u2019t assume the worst about people who end their lives.\u00a0Ending their lives does not make them bad people. They are not selfish people. They are not weak people.\u00a0They are not crazy people, they are not demon possessed.\u00a0They are not Hell bound. They are people whose hope ran out, people who tried until they could try no longer.\u00a0They are people who live with an illness, yes it is an illness, some illness is physical & some illness is mental.\u00a0\u00a0They are people who would have continued to live if they could. And most likely, it hurt them deeply to have to leave those they love.<\/p>\n
5.\u00a0Check in on people.\u00a0It\u2019s not enough to be aware of a person\u2019s struggle and distance yourself from them, waiting for the next time they reach out to you or if it\u2019s a leader just wait for their faith to kick in. Check in from time to time, ask how they are doing, be a friend.<\/p>\n
6. Remember\u00a0that it is not necessary nor appropriate for you to fill every space or moment with your words. Presence is a priceless gift to offer, just be there.<\/p>\n
7. Some situations don\u2019t need a bible verse.\u00a0Nuff said.<\/p>\n
8. The absence of a smile\u00a0does not equate to the absence of faith, but often an indicator of pain.<\/p>\n
9. The presence of a smile\u00a0does not equate joy and the absence of depressive conditions.\u00a0Some of us are skilled at putting our smile on like we put on clothing. Not every smiling face is content and at peace, sometimes if appropriate it is good to gently go a little deeper [with a person\u2019s permission of course].<\/p>\n
10. If you don\u2019t know, say you don\u2019t know.\u00a0Some will appreciate that because it opens the door for them to share their story, open their hearts and help you with \u201cknowing\u201d more deeply.<\/p>\n
11. Never ever never,\u00a0under any circumstances be trite or offer empty platitudes or clich\u00e9s. Mental illness for some people, at given points in the struggle, is a matter of life and death.<\/p>\n
via Suicide, Church Folk and Spiritual Leaders | The Journey\u2026<\/a>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This morning I am still recovering from some shocking news I received. This past week a friend of mine from Seminary took her own life. She was a very kind women and one who loved Jesus deeply. She had felt the call to give her life in service of serving Jesus through serving others. She […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1678,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-979","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/a>his morning I am still recovering from some shocking news I received. This past week a friend of mine from Seminary took her own life. She was a very kind women and one who loved Jesus deeply. She had felt the call to give her life in service of serving Jesus through serving others. She was a voice for justice and a preacher of the Gospel. She was a friend, and I feel the loss sharply today. Like myself, she was also a blogger. I wandered over to her blog today hoping in some way to try to make sense of what happened, although I knew I could never fully understand. Her last post reveals a bit of the struggle that I now know she lived with. It details her own reflections on how to help pastors who are struggling to keep the will to live, as she reflects on another minster named Teddy Parker, who took his own life last month. \u00a0I thought I would share this bit of wisdom about how to care for our brothers and sisters in ministry. You will be missed, may the Lord lead you into his loving embrace. Here are the responses she encouraged us to make to help support pastors and leaders:<\/p>\n