{"id":2180,"date":"2012-05-28T06:00:30","date_gmt":"2012-05-28T11:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/blackwhiteandgray\/?p=2180"},"modified":"2012-05-26T12:00:26","modified_gmt":"2012-05-26T17:00:26","slug":"sexual-expectations-and-realities-in-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/blackwhiteandgray\/2012\/05\/sexual-expectations-and-realities-in-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Sexual Expectations and Realities in Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>Who out there thinks they\u2019re having too much sex?<\/p>\n<p>The answer appears to be: nearly no one (under age 40, that is). Analyses involving <a href=\"http:\/\/www.prc.utexas.edu\/nfss\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\">new nationally-representative data<\/a> on 18-39-year-olds, results from which I\u2019ve highlighted in previous blog posts, suggests that very few young adults in America think they themselves are oversexed. Respondents were asked, \u201cAre you content with the amount of sex you are having?\u201d To which 50 percent replied \u201cyes,\u201d 43 percent said, \u201cno, I\u2019d prefer more,\u201d and only 3 percent said, \u201cno, I\u2019d prefer less.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>An\u00a0additional 4 percent refused to answer the question, which admittedly might have struck some as being irrelevant to them or presumptive of their own sexual activity. (That happens sometimes in survey research, and in that case it makes sense to pass on the question.) Indeed, plenty of people in the dataset aren\u2019t even in relationships; the question could strike them as odd, or not. So what about the ones that are in relationships? And even more specifically, what about the ones that are married?<\/p>\n<p>Well, it turns out\u2014of course\u2014marriage doesn\u2019t completely take care of the sex drive. As if I expected it to. (I\u2019m trying not to make this blog post personal.) It turns out that 53 percent of married young Americans are quite content with their frequency of sex, while 43 percent wish for more and only 2.1 percent wish for less.<\/p>\n<p>Given the historically-strong gender connection with sex drive, what do the numbers look like when we split them by male and female? Well, your grandmother probably could\u2019ve predicted this one. About 61 percent of married women are content with the extent of bedroom activity they\u2019re experiencing, compared with 44 percent of married men. It should be noted that only 7\/10th of one percent of married men are complaining about too much sex. It\u2019s just an uncommon gripe. More women than men, but only 3.3 percent total, voice such a concern. It turns out that 54 percent of married young men would appreciate more sex, but so would 34 percent of married young women.\u00a0 Those are numbers worth noting. To be sure, life and busy-ness can get in the way\u2014and marital problems will often either concern sex or become intertwined with it. But it\u2019s notable that many married (18-39-year-old) men and women wish to be intimate with their spouse more often than they are. I guess that\u2019s good, and certainly better than the other way around.<\/p>\n<p>So far I\u2019ve said nothing about this group\u2019s reported actual sexual frequency, which varies widely:<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 19 percent reported no sex in the past two weeks<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 16 percent reported once in the past two weeks<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 16 percent said twice<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 13 percent said three times<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 10 percent said four<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 15 percent said 5-6<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 6 percent said 7-10 times<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 4 percent of married young adults reported 11 or more times in the past two weeks.<\/p>\n<p>[Cue the irritation of some, and the blessed \u201cOh, I\u2019m normal\u201d response of others.]<\/p>\n<p>To be sure, there\u2019s a nearly linear association between the two variables:<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 91 percent of the (11+ timers) said \u201cyes\u201d when asked if they were content with the amount of sex they\u2019re having. (The nerve of those other nine percent\u2026!)<\/p>\n<p>That number dips to 86 percent (among 7-10 timers), then\u00a066 percent, 65 percent, 61, 40, 41, and down to 37 percent among those married young Americans who reported no sex in the past two weeks. The most notable dip in contentment here\u2013from a majority that\u2019s content to a minority that is\u2013appears between\u00a0those who say \u201c3 times\u201d and\u00a0those who say twice (in two weeks).<\/p>\n<p>The same numbers among men only:\u00a085 percent of the male 11+ timers said \u201cyes,\u201d they\u2019re content. The same\u00a0(85 percent) among male 7-10 timers, then down to\u00a066 percent, 60 percent, 44 percent, 30 percent, 36 percent, and only 21 percent of married men who\u2019ve not had sex in the past week say they are content with the amount of sex they\u2019ve been having. The most notable decline here is from \u201c4 times\u201d to \u201c3 times\u201d\u00a0(in two weeks). \u00a0This reminds me of the Woody Allen film in which his character responds to a therapist\u2019s question about his sex life, saying, \u201cWe almost never have sex, like, only two or three times\u00a0a week.\u201d Diane Keaton, his partner, responds independently to the same question, \u201cWe\u2019re always having sex, like, two or three times a week!\u201d (In fact, 54 percent of married women\u00a0who said \u201czero times\u201d to the frequency question also said that \u201cyes\u201d they were content with how often they have sex.) In general, young women appear far more content with their married sex lives than the men.\u00a0Not a\u00a0shock, I know.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m pressed for time\u2014given this is a holiday weekend\u2014so I won\u2019t add more commentary to these numbers. There are of course other variables to consider\u2013like how long you\u2019ve been married\u2013and other predictors of sexual contentedness that a short blog post cannot accommodate, but that invariably readers will wonder about. Wonder away.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>On Memorial Day, here\u2019s to those who have served, especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. We are grateful.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Who out there thinks they\u2019re having too much sex? The answer appears to be: nearly no one (under age 40, that is). Analyses involving new nationally-representative data on 18-39-year-olds, results from which I\u2019ve highlighted in previous blog posts, suggests that very few young adults in America think they themselves are oversexed. Respondents were asked, \u201cAre [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":124,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[25,24,169],"class_list":["post-2180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mark-regnerus","tag-marriage","tag-sex","tag-young-adults"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sexual Expectations and Realities in Marriage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Who out there thinks they\u2019re having too much sex? The answer appears to be: nearly no one (under age 40, that is). Analyses involving new\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/blackwhiteandgray\/2012\/05\/sexual-expectations-and-realities-in-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sexual Expectations and Realities in Marriage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Who out there thinks they\u2019re having too much sex? The answer appears to be: nearly no one (under age 40, that is). 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