<\/p>\n
On the way to school this morning, the girls and I had a great interaction about how we treat one another. It began as they were talking about a t-shirt\u00a0that they often wear to school that has the phrase on the front, \u201cI love Lola\u201d followed by the definition\u00a0of \u201cLola\u201d . . . \u201cgrandmother \u201d in Tagalog.<\/p>\n
Middle, \u201cWhen people read my \u2018I love Lola\u2019 shirt they think I\u2019m talking about my dog.\u201d<\/p>\n
Youngest, \u201cSeriously, don\u2019t people bother to read?\u201d<\/p>\n
Eldest, you should totally say, \u201cYou know I enjoy careful reading . . . you should try it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laugh, giggle and then Daaaad had to talk . . .<\/p>\n
What followed was a great conversation about how some comebacks may seem really funny, and may even be clever, but that using cut downs meant to humiliate or demean was not okay.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo ahead, let your inside voice say it, but please don\u2019t actually say it outloud. Deal?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDeal.\u201d<\/p>\n
No major eye-rolling. Just another teachable moment as they say.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Some of you are reading this and may be thinking this was not the best advice. You may be right, but it did get me thinking about how we parents model interaction in times of conflict and disagreement.<\/p>\n
As a person who has the\u00a0privilege of having a writing and speaking platform from which I can raise issues that are important to me, it\u2019s not a surprise that I get a good deal of nastiness directed my way. Don\u2019t worry, I let most of it roll off of me . . . though don\u2019t let my momma find out who you are \ud83d\ude09 I\u2019m not naive and I know that the big bad evil trolls are out there lurking. Waiting. At the same time, just because they are out there, does not mean that we should now abdicate public discourse to those who seek and reap division; accept this posture as the new normal or resort\u00a0to the same kind of tactics.<\/p>\n
Yes, this is one more post<\/a> pleading for all of us to rise above the fray and choose to disagree differently. And I will say until I am blue the face that my\u00a0commitment\u00a0to remove\u00a0tactics of humiliation,\u00a0destruction\u00a0and dehumanization from our interaction is not one that leads to a weakness in fortitude, devaluation of truth or limited impact. In fact, I would contend that in today\u2019s hyper-snarky, techo-crazy world, I think people who have the\u00a0discipline\u00a0to exhibit unexpected humility, excruciating graciousness and passionate love of the other are the architects, curators and builders of a better tomorrow.<\/p>\n
With my interaction with the kids and comments from this post<\/a> and this update<\/a> fresh in mind mind, I posed this question<\/a> on my Facebook Page:<\/p>\n
I wonder if most parents would be proud if their children interacted the same way at school during passionate disagreements about playground life as the parents do during passionate disagreements about politics?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
If you take the time to read through the comments on the above links, I think you get a good sense of where I\u00a0probably\u00a0am in my own modeling: most of the time I feel okay about how I respond to others in the heat of the debate, but every so often, I resort to tactics that are patronizing, humiliating and destructive to the body as a whole.<\/p>\n
These are not traits I want to pass on to my children.<\/p>\n
So for my daughters\u2019 sake and all who may observe me, I will strive to be and do better.<\/p>\n
Anyone else?<\/p>\n
To receive all of my posts via email please subscribe:\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>LOCAL<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0and\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>GLOBAL<\/a><\/strong>.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
On the way to school this morning, the girls and I had a great interaction about how we treat one another. It began as they were talking about a t-shirt\u00a0that they often wear to school that has the phrase on the front, \u201cI love Lola\u201d followed by the definition\u00a0of \u201cLola\u201d . . . \u201cgrandmother \u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":110,"featured_media":5774,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,814],"tags":[17457,16656,16524,17458,17459,364,16971,16972],"class_list":["post-5773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith-religion","category-family-community","tag-american-politics","tag-civil-discourse","tag-civility","tag-dangers-of-social-media","tag-i-love-lola","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-advice","tag-parenting-tips"],"yoast_head":"\n
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