We\u2019ve been starting to receive some email here at Building Cathedrals and aim to address all of your queries. Please don\u2019t hesitate to write in with an issue and we\u2019ll do our best to post on it as soon as possible. Here\u2019s our first from reader, Katherine: First of all, let me extend a warm hug of support and pat on the back for seeking out Christ in your day-to-day and desiring to commune with your parish outside of Mass on Sunday. When done right, a parish community can nurture a variety of ministries to the sick, poor, young, and old, bringing glory and honor during the week to the Eucharistic celebration on Sundays. I can remember GG and I attempting during our first year in Colorado to join a Bible study that met on Tuesday evenings (we didn\u2019t have kids yet). We found ourselves among four elderly couples, who were the sweetest people on earth and so nurturing to us. We had prayed for fellowship in our new parish and received a bountiful answer, just not in the form we expected! <\/p>\n Secondly, it sounds like you might have to be a pioneer within the parish in order to bring about ministries catering to mothers and young families. Perhaps there is another young mother you know who can help you spearhead a playgroup or a mother\u2019s Rosary group that meets while the kids play? I would challenge you to find like-hearted women and meet with your priest to explore options for you in the parish. Other parish ministries I\u2019ve seen for mothers at our previous parishes include a Mom\u2019s Catholic group (brunch and ministry while childcare was provided\u2013started in CO by a few moms with similar desires to yours; it was an awesome group\u2013I just had to have a baby and find it!), Parents\u2019 groups that meet in the a.m. (similar in structure) , parish picnics at family-friendly times, and the Elizabeth ministries (providing support for mothers during childbearing years\u2013meals, meetings, etc.) We\u2019ve recently found a wonderful<\/em> parish here in Indiana that aims to nurture the entire family, while exalting Christ in His Sacred Mass. It is beautiful to witness and is<\/em> very possible with the commitment of parishioners to aid the priest(s) in such a mission! \u201cParish ambassadors\u201d sit down with new families\/parishioners and inform them of all the ministries available to them. I think this is a wonderful way of bringing His sheep into the fold of a church\u2026 We\u2019ve also seen churches offer a ministry fair (usually in September) with tables representing the various outreaches of the church. <\/p>\n
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\u201cDear Builders,<\/em>
I do not feel that my parish is very encouraging or supportive of mothers who choose to stay at home with their children. My pastor is not fond of small children and regularly encourages parents to leave their little children at the parish-provided baby-sitting service (not children\u2019s liturgy, just baby-sitting) such that the children never even enter the church. Almost any meeting or event is on weekday evenings which is very difficult for me to attend as I nurse a 4-month-old who is always more needy at the end of the day and I have a 2-year-old whose bedtime routine it would mess up quite a bit, not to mention it is the primary time of day I get to spend with my husband. I think the times are generally chosen for adults who work during the day, but I feel like there is no way for me to be involved with my parish outside of Mass. <\/em>
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So, my questions: <\/em>
1. Does anyone else feel this way or is it just me? Maybe it is just my parish and not a common thing.<\/em>
2. If someone does not feel this way, is there something your parish does so that you don\u2019t feel this way?<\/em>
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I\u2019m wondering if my parish is more in the minority or the majority and I\u2019m also wondering what can be done such that ministry to women like me doesn\u2019t fall through the cracks.\u201d <\/em>
-Katherine<\/em>
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Dear Katherine,
My heart goes out to you as I read your words and feel your frustration. I have experienced varying degrees of what you are describing in parishes around the country (literally in NJ, CO, and IN!), the most poignant in Colorado where we were parishioners for one year<\/em> before people started asking us, \u201cAre you new to the parish?\u201d It is so easy for young families to fall through the cracks even in thriving parishes, which makes this an issue worthy of appropriate attention by the Church (and us, its people!)<\/p>\n