In fact, I am mean.<\/p>\n
When I go to the food store, I think mean things about many of the complete strangers I encounter there.\u00a0 If I\u2019m not pregnant, and I\u2019ve just had a cup of coffee, I am very good at not sharing any of these mean thoughts.\u00a0 On good days, I may even think some nice thoughts.\u00a0 But on bad days, I not only think mean things, I find a way to say them.\u00a0 Sometimes it\u2019s just a nasty tone or a sarcastic comment, but on really bad days, it\u2019s much worse.\u00a0 And I may not even feel badly about how I have behaved until hours later.<\/p>\n
On a normal day, when I approach the checkout counters, I scan the workers and look for the most capable cashier (this will be the fastest line).\u00a0 I make snap judgments about who looks dumb or slow, and I avoid their line.\u00a0 I also scan those in line in front of me, and I judge them.\u00a0 \u201cThat person over there looks like she might struggle to find the right credit card.\u00a0 That woman over there definitely plans to pay with a check and it will take forever.\u00a0 That woman is dressed funny and I don\u2019t want her to talk to me.\u201d\u00a0 I do this automatically.\u00a0 If I make a conscious effort not to make these judgments and just pick a line, I wait and stew over how long it is taking and how slow everything is moving.\u00a0 On good days I smile and nod when the cashier apologizes, saying \u201cthat\u2019s ok.\u201d\u00a0 But I\u2019m being dishonest.\u00a0 Deep down, I am blaming her slow cashier skills for the delay and I\u2019m vowing to never get in her line again.\u00a0 For a brief moment, I am even considering never returning to that store.<\/p>\n
My meanness isn\u2019t limited to the shopping experience.\u00a0 It is my disposition.\u00a0\u00a0 I see people dressed in sweatpants for Mass and I judge them.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is that guy thinking, tapered grey sweatpants are not appropriate for an afternoon on the soccer field, let alone a Sunday morning at Church.\u201d\u00a0 Sometimes I even think mean things about people wearing jeans, even though I have worn jeans to Mass myself.\u00a0 That\u2019s how mean I am. I don\u2019t think about how they might be poor and unable to afford proper clothes for Mass.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think about how they may not know how to dress appropriately because nobody ever taught them.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think about how they may have been up all night at the local hospital with a sick family member and they are making a heroic effort to just show up at Mass in their sweatpants or jeans.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think any of these forgiving, gracious thoughts because I am mean.<\/p>\n
I am not alone.\u00a0 My husband is also mean (sorry Mr. Red) and most of my friends, including at least some of the builders (sorry ladies!) aren\u2019t naturally nice either.\u00a0 When I thought about it last night, I could only think of a handful of people who are really, truly, nice.\u00a0 And yes, it\u2019s pretty lousy of me to sit around and label all my friends and family members.\u00a0 But what do you expect, I\u2019m mean.<\/p>\n
I wonder, do I seek out and befriend mean people, or do most of us just have more naturally mean dispositions?\u00a0 Since I am mean, I want to think that the world is full of mean people, so no one gets an edge on me. But really, I think being mean is a common struggle, especially amongst highly educated people.<\/p>\n
So now that I\u2019ve established that I\u2019m mean (and many of you are too), here are some ways that we can be less mean.<\/p>\n
Ways to be Less Mean<\/strong><\/p>\n 1.\u00a0 Remember your talents are a gift.<\/em> <\/strong> Your intelligence, athleticism, appearance, and other unique abilities are gifts from God.\u00a0 God could have just as easily made your brain work more slowly, made you look unattractive, made you nonathletic, made you tone deaf, or given you any other flawed characteristic in the eyes of this world.\u00a0 Your abilities are a gift, and therefore you should take no personal pride in them.<\/p>\n 2.\u00a0 Remember how hard life is for many people. <\/strong><\/em> Not everyone went to college.\u00a0 Not everyone grew up in a nice house with parents who loved them.\u00a0 A lot of people have serious baggage due to dysfunctional family relationships.\u00a0 They have never been loved and don\u2019t know how to love.\u00a0 They have never been taught how to be responsible or make good decisions.<\/p>\n 3.\u00a0 Remember that you are seriously flawed.<\/strong><\/em> This is why you are so mean.\u00a0 Seriously, we all are very flawed.\u00a0 I am mean, impatient, quick to respond, and hot-tempered (I could go on here).\u00a0 If you are having trouble thinking of the ways in which you are seriously deficient, read some writings of the Saints.\u00a0 The Saints were all very holy people convinced they were very flawed and in desperate need of God\u2019s grace.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t see your flaws, you aren\u2019t looking hard enough.<\/p>\n 4.\u00a0 Remember that appearances, talents and abilities are not important in the eyes of God.<\/strong><\/em> We will not be judged on our talents, but by what we do with those talents (remember the parable of the talents?).\u00a0 Being good is way more important than being talented.<\/p>\n 5.\u00a0 Pray for Humility. <\/strong><\/em> With God all things are possible.\u00a0 The blind see, the lame walk, and the mean people get nice.\u00a0 Or something like that.\u00a0 To really love other people we must ask for humility.\u00a0 We have to do more than just not say those nasty thoughts in our head.\u00a0 We must pray for the humility not to think them in the first place.<\/p>\n ~Lord Jesus Christ, do not permit me to attribute to myself the good that you perform in me and through me, but rather, referring all honor to you, may I admit only to my infirmities, so that renouncing sincerely all vainglory which comes from the world, I may aspire to that true and lasting glory that comes from you.\u00a0 Amen. ~\u00a0 St. Francis Cabrini<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In fact, I am mean. When I go to the food store, I think mean things about many of the complete strangers I encounter there.\u00a0 If I\u2019m not pregnant, and I\u2019ve just had a cup of coffee, I am very good at not sharing any of these mean thoughts.\u00a0 On good days, I may even […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":734,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,20],"tags":[52,54,51,53,55],"class_list":["post-5565","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-keeping-it-real","category-spiritual-life","tag-humility","tag-kind","tag-mean","tag-nice","tag-spiritual-growth"],"yoast_head":"\n