{"id":6011,"date":"2012-08-08T18:00:28","date_gmt":"2012-08-09T00:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/buildingcathedrals\/?p=6011"},"modified":"2012-08-09T05:48:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-09T11:48:00","slug":"tending-to-the-older-ones","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/buildingcathedrals\/2012\/08\/tending-to-the-older-ones\/","title":{"rendered":"Tending to the Older Ones"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I had a humbling mother moment today when I realized one of my kids was feeling really low. \u00a0\u201cYou don\u2019t tell me \u2018Good Job\u2019 very much and instead, I\u2019m always getting in trouble\u201d he mumbled through tears. \u00a0Ouch. \u00a0Was he being dramatic and irrational? \u00a0Perhaps a little. \u00a0But once I opened my ears, put down my defenses, and really<\/em> listened, I realized this was my child crying out for some encouragement. \u00a0Double ouch.<\/p>\n

He is the oldest child. \u00a0He is the one I have the hardest time understanding. \u00a0We are very different as people, which only presents more of a challenge as we attempt to connect in the day to day. \u00a0I am challenged to find ways to praise and not critique; to build-up and not tear down.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s often so easy to place the heaviest burdens on the shoulders of our oldest children. \u00a0We have the highest expectations for them because they are paving the way and setting the standard for the family. \u00a0I recognized today that with the burden I place on my older children has to come a whole measure more of encouragement to build them up as they carry extra responsibilities. \u00a0It made me realize that my remarks can have a host of interpretations\u2013those meant to improve a behavior may actually come across as a put-down and overall critique. \u00a0I need to do a better job of recognizing his good, praiseworthy behavior; to applaud his successes.<\/p>\n

And when push comes to shove, I ultimately\u00a0need to be the mom willing to listen.<\/p>\n

We have friends in town who take their children out on \u201cdate nights\u201d one-on-one with mom\/dad and the child. \u00a0I think this is a wonderful way to spend a little extra time investing in our children and family. \u00a0Sounds like I need to plan a few of these with my oldest man\u2013maybe a trip to the movies and out to ice cream afterward? \u00a0Hopefully times like this will keep our lines of communication open and help him continue to feel comfortable sharing with me. \u00a0Parenting is clearly no easy task!<\/p>\n

Biggest bro and baby sis<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had a humbling mother moment today when I realized one of my kids was feeling really low. \u00a0\u201cYou don\u2019t tell me \u2018Good Job\u2019 very much and instead, I\u2019m always getting in trouble\u201d he mumbled through tears. \u00a0Ouch. \u00a0Was he being dramatic and irrational? \u00a0Perhaps a little. \u00a0But once I opened my ears, put down […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":730,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6011","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-children","category-motherhood"],"yoast_head":"\nTending to the Older Ones<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I had a humbling mother moment today when I realized one of my kids was feeling really low. \u00a0"You don't tell me 'Good Job' very much and instead, I'm\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, 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