{"id":8918,"date":"2014-11-10T13:23:36","date_gmt":"2014-11-10T19:23:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/buildingcathedrals\/?p=8918"},"modified":"2014-11-10T13:23:36","modified_gmt":"2014-11-10T19:23:36","slug":"marriage-under-the-microscope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/buildingcathedrals\/2014\/11\/marriage-under-the-microscope\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriage Under the Microscope"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I\u2019ll never forget visiting with my first married friend a few months after her wedding. We expected her to walk in\u00a0starry-eyed and head-over-heels (isn\u2019t that what Hollywood dictates?) Instead, she was wide-eyed and serious as she said, \u201cGirls, marriage is really tough.\u201d Wow.<\/p>\n

Twelve years into my own marriage, I think back on those words and posture what she\u00a0was getting at.\u00a0I think\u00a0to achieve happiness and oneness in marriage, you really have to work at it. Life pulls us in every direction. Kids distract us from one another. Conflicts and struggles challenge us to be selfless and\u00a0support the other person\u00a0above our own needs. My husband has seen me at my best and worst; he\u2019s watched me triumph and struggle; he knows my strengths and weaknesses. He\u00a0knows every part of me and still chooses to love me. Because love is not an emotion, but a decision.<\/p>\n

We use that line a lot in our\u00a0work guiding\u00a0engaged couples through marital preparation. We primarily work for\u00a0an organization called Catholic Engaged Encounter<\/a>. If you haven\u2019t heard of it and know of a couple looking for a good marriage prep program, please direct them there.\u00a0CEE is\u00a0everywhere\u2013across the country and in 30 different countries internationally. My\u00a0hub and I\u00a0present at weekend retreats and even as speakers, walk away feeling renewed in our marriage.<\/p>\n

By no means\u00a0do we boast a perfect union, far from it. But we feel impassioned to strengthen marriages from the very beginning of their inception; to reach couples at the start to save them strife down the road. If we can help one couple avoid divorce in the future, it\u2019s all worth it. Because it\u2019s not easy, folks, and in our culture, it\u2019s too simple to just quit when life becomes challenging. Can you imagine a world with\u00a0stronger\u00a0Christian marriages? We need to\u00a0reverse the\u00a0breakdown of the family through\u00a0the husband and wife, the central family unit.\u00a0We need to\u00a0save our marriages.<\/p>\n

Instead of \u201cI quit\u201d, we need\u00a0to change the phrase to \u201cI commit\u201d. We make that commitment every day to our spouse. We renew our Sacrament through the little but heroic acts of kindness toward\u00a0one another.\u00a0When we choose to love, we trump the world and everything it throws at us. We say \u201cI will\u201d over and over again.<\/p>\n

What a privilege it is to choose to love and to have another person, our teammate, walk alongside us on this journey of life. Marriage is a gift, but definitely one that needs safe-keeping. If your marriage is in need of a boost, I encourage you to contact your local diocese to find the nearest Marriage Encounter<\/a> retreat or for couples having particular\u00a0struggles, Retrouvaille<\/a>\u00a0is an amazing option to find the support you need.<\/p>\n

God bless you and your marriages!! We can do this!<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ll never forget visiting with my first married friend a few months after her wedding. We expected her to walk in\u00a0starry-eyed and head-over-heels (isn\u2019t that what Hollywood dictates?) Instead, she was wide-eyed and serious as she said, \u201cGirls, marriage is really tough.\u201d Wow. Twelve years into my own marriage, I think back on those words […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":730,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8918","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nMarriage Under the Microscope<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I'll never forget visiting with my first married friend a few months after her wedding. 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