{"id":31278,"date":"2013-03-01T08:00:30","date_gmt":"2013-03-01T15:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/christandpopculture\/?p=31278"},"modified":"2013-03-01T08:36:42","modified_gmt":"2013-03-01T15:36:42","slug":"frequently-searched-questions-why-is-the-harlem-shake-with-the-terrorists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/christandpopculture\/2013\/03\/frequently-searched-questions-why-is-the-harlem-shake-with-the-terrorists\/","title":{"rendered":"Frequently Searched Questions: Why Is the Harlem Shake with the Terrorists?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

The following are actual search terms people typed into Google (Yahoo?) which directed them to CaPC. In most cases they didn\u2019t find the answer they were looking for on our site. FSQ<\/a> is an attempt to remedy this problem by answering some of the most (de)pressing questions sent to us through search terms.<\/em><\/p>\n

This week\u2019s theme is Richard Is Not as Good at This as Alan<\/em><\/p>\n

Q 1<\/strong>. Fictional books with biblical things<\/p>\n

If you must <\/em>read books at all (I prefer videogames), and you want to stick to purely biblical subject matter, you could check out one of my favorites: Genesis<\/em>. It\u2019s the story of the beginning of the earth. Also check out the highly praised sequel, Exodus: Revenge of Moses<\/em>. Lulls a bit in the middle but still pretty good. But stay away from Ecclesiastes<\/em>. Not one biblical thing in it.<\/p>\n

Also try Left Behind<\/em>. Way more biblical than its follow-up, Tribulation Force<\/em>. But as is always the case, the videogame is way better.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

is better than<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

is better than<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Q 2<\/strong>. Should a shy introvert teach English<\/p>\n

Not unless you\u2019re teaching a bunch of shy extroverts. That\u2019s the only way I can imagine this will work. Wait, you mean to animals? That could work. Like teaching Babe to talk or whatever?<\/p>\n

\u201cThe rain in Spain falls oink?? Ahh crap.\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/blockquote>\n

Q 3<\/strong>. Ten things you should never say to church visitors<\/p>\n

Stand back, imma do this:<\/p>\n

1. \u201cHi, I\u2019m a bear and I will eat you.\u201d
\n2. \u201cGo away.\u201d
\n3. \u201cDid you bring your tithe?\u201d
\n4. \u201cLet me hug your neck!\u201d
\n5. \u201cSorry about the smell.\u201d
\n6. \u201cWhere\u2019s your other wife?\u201d
\n7. \u201cAre you going to raise your hands? We like to raise our hands here, you should raise your hands.\u201d
\n8. \u201cWe have communion today! You\u2019re not allowed to participate, but don\u2019t worry, it\u2019d just kill you anyway.\u201d
\n9. \u201cWill you be my friend?\u201d
\n10. \u201cGet me out of here.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Q 4<\/strong>. If the worship team sucks should I quit<\/p>\n

Oh, absolutely. Don\u2019t just quit the band. Quit playing guitar. Cause it\u2019s probably your fault.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Q 5<\/strong>. Should christians listen to Michael Jackson\u2019s Thriller<\/p>\n

Yeah. It should be required listening for all Christians. Because it\u2019s about resurrection.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Q 6<\/strong>. Christian clubbing John MacArthur<\/p>\n

Come on yall, cut it out. He\u2019s a good guy. He doesn\u2019t deserved to be clubbed by a gang of ruffian hipster evangelical do-badders. Poor guy.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Q 7<\/strong>. Why is the Harlem shake with the terrorists<\/p>\n

Because the United States government sold it to them after producing way to many Harlem Shake videos and finding themselves with an extreme surplus. It\u2019s all part of the Harlem Shake Industrial Complex, and it\u2019s basically the reason for all of our problems and wars and stuff.<\/p>\n

Also when the terrorists do the Harlem Shake it\u2019s easier to spot them with our drones.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Q 8<\/strong>. Cryonics negatives<\/p>\n

Well for starters, it\u2019s just way too cold if you ask me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Q 9<\/strong>. Mark driscolls wife<\/p>\n

A wonderful, lovely lady. Please don\u2019t beat me up.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The following are actual search terms people typed into Google (Yahoo?) which directed them to CaPC. In most cases they didn\u2019t find the answer they were looking for on our site. FSQ is an attempt to remedy this problem by answering some of the most (de)pressing questions sent to us through search terms. This week\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1206,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,1484],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-culture","category-ofthemoment"],"yoast_head":"\nFrequently Searched Questions: Why Is the Harlem Shake with the Terrorists?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The following are actual search terms people typed into Google (Yahoo?) which directed them to CaPC. 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