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<\/a>\n(Editor\u2019s Note: My interview with Lt. Col. Mark Weber was recorded a few weeks ago, but held until Father\u2019s Day week. Unfortunately, Mark passed away yesterday. Our deepest condolences to his family. Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.<\/strong>)
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When Minnesota resident, Lt. Col. Mark Weber, was diagnosed with Stage IV gastrointestinal cancer on Thanksgiving Day 2010, it was actually a piece of good news compared to what he\u2019d previously been told.<\/p>\n
His initial diagnosis had been pancreatic cancer, with the prediction that he would die within a few months. Considering that Weber led an active life and had been scheduled to deploy to Afghanistan as a member of General David Petraeus\u2019s personal staff, the news came as a major shock to him, his wife Kristin and their three sons, Matthew, Joshua and Nick.<\/p>\n
Weber had been a soldier for 23 years, often in war zones, so he and his family already had the \u201cWhat if?\u201d discussions in case he didn\u2019t make it home. This, however, they were somewhat unprepared for.<\/p>\n
The gastrointestinal cancer diagnosis on Thanksgiving was a tiny point of light because, though the disease was still terminal, it was more treatable than pancreatic cancer and offered him the possibility of several more years of life. Weber became determined to live the rest of his days to the fullest by writing down the life lessons he\u2019d learned in book form to give to his sons. It would be his way of being present for them as a father long after he was gone.<\/p>\n
As Weber explained on Christopher Closeup<\/em>, he initially wanted to keep the book within the family. After meeting with Minnesota chaplain, Col. John Morris, he changed his mind because Morris told him that people needed stories of wisdom and inspiration. \u201cYou need to look at this as a charge of responsibility,\u201d said the chaplain.<\/p>\n Weber self-published the book under the title \u201cTell My Sons<\/a>,\u201d sharing intimate details and life lessons that would be of interest to anyone.<\/p>\n Finding Grace in Debilitation<\/strong><\/p>\n One formative experience for Weber, which taught him about enduring suffering with dignity and grace, occurred when he was 14 years old. He started caring for his Grandmother Garofalo, who had a stroke, was confined to a wheelchair and couldn\u2019t move half her body. <\/p>\n He said, \u201cI took this woman to the bathroom; she weighed 160 pounds! I weighed maybe 130? I had to take her underwear down and help her in every borderline undignified way. But there was no lost dignity; it was just so natural. For me to be able to take care of her felt comforting!\u201d<\/p>\n Weber believes his grandmother\u2019s example helped him deal with his own periods of debilitation. \u201cWhen I can\u2019t do something, I find it much easier to accept offers of assistance,\u201d he said. \u201cPride is not a barrier for me.\u201d<\/p>\n He gets aggravated when people tell him, \u201cI could never do what you\u2019ve done.\u201d The reason: \u201cBecause you are abdicating your own personal responsibility for your adversity when it comes. The fact that you don\u2019t realize it is perhaps the most dangerous thing.\u201d Weber, a lifelong Catholic, admits that he doesn\u2019t believe God directly intervenes in people\u2019s lives. He said, \u201cI\u2019m of the school of thought that God didn\u2019t give me this cancer and He\u2019s not gonna take it away. That, for reasons I can\u2019t explain, is what we\u2019ll call the mystery of faith, it\u2019s part of the journey. For me, it\u2019s cancer. For someone else, it\u2019s M.S. It\u2019s just life. And it\u2019s not all bad because, I\u2019ll tell you, the past two-and-a-half years have been a joy ride!\u201d<\/p>\n Weber doesn\u2019t see his views as a lack of faith. On the contrary, he believes it\u2019s helped him find the miraculous in the ordinary. He said, \u201cThere are many people who say, \u2018I\u2019m gonna pray for God to heal you.\u2019 I can buy that. Even though I\u2019m part of that group that doesn\u2019t believe God intervenes, I won\u2019t cast it aside. But I think God [says] to us: \u2018I\u2019ve given you the miracle! Look at that body you\u2019ve got! Look what it can do!\u201d<\/p>\n A Spirit and Message of True Grit<\/strong><\/p>\n With Weber\u2019s story growing in popularity and his self-published book selling 10,000 copies, he created a Facebook page on which people could stay up-to-date with what was going on in his life. He wanted to name it something special because he was an Army man in the fiercest combat situation of his life. When a friend suggested he call the page \u201cOperation True Grit<\/a>\u201d because of the way Weber (a John Wayne fan) approached his illness, he knew he had found the words that combined the spirit and message of what he wanted to accomplish.<\/p>\n He said, \u201cOne of the things that brings me to tears these days more than anything else \u2013 I mean, I cry at supermarket openings \u2013 is the impact that I\u2019m able to have talking to high school students. I had an experience like that last week where a girl started to speak about her dad; she had lost him about a year and a half ago from liver cancer. They had decided they were going to do hospice care at home. She started to cry, just a little bit. She said he had a pillow that he put between his legs as he wasted away in his final days. He kept it between his legs to keep the pressure off his back and he ended up dying that way. \u2018And that pillow is my favorite pillow,\u2019 she said. I was struck by the way that she shared; it seemed pretty open like she was comfortable having this discussion. But then the bell rang and all the kids left and a woman grabbed my shoulder from behind. It was one of the youth ministers, and she had tears in her eyes and said, \u2018That is the most that girl has ever spoken about her dad, in a year and a half.\u2019 And we had helped each other; I had helped her and she had helped me. Man, that\u2019s love.\u201d<\/p>\n To listen to my full interview with Lt. Col. Mark Weber, click the podcast links below:<\/em>
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\nThe Mystery of Faith<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/a>\u201cTell My Sons: A Father\u2019s Last Letters<\/a>\u201d grew so popular that it was picked up by Ballantine Books and released last week on a much wider scale than Weber had ever anticipated. When asked what he hopes readers get out of the book, he answered, \u201cPerspective about life. There\u2019s a compass that I have on the cover. You\u2019ll notice that the compass doesn\u2019t point in any particular direction. It\u2019s a tool for you to use the way you want to, depending on your purpose and your direction in life. You [need to] use that compass to help answer the question, \u2018What am I gonna do when life doesn\u2019t go the way I want it to?\u2019<\/p>\n<\/a>Though the focus has been on fighting cancer, the battle has taught Weber a lot about love \u2013 both giving it and receiving it. <\/p>\n
\nChristopher Closeup podcast \u2013 Guests: 1) Bob Dotson, Part 2 and 2) Lt. Col. Mark Weber, Part 1<\/a><\/p>\n