{"id":27946,"date":"2020-11-04T16:58:52","date_gmt":"2020-11-04T22:58:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/coffeeandcrucifix\/?p=27946"},"modified":"2021-02-05T11:04:38","modified_gmt":"2021-02-05T17:04:38","slug":"satire-vigano-phil-collins","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/coffeeandcrucifix\/2020\/11\/satire-vigano-phil-collins\/","title":{"rendered":"Archbishop Vigano has been rock star Phil Collins all along"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
***SATIRE***<\/strong><\/h1>\n
Archbishop Vigano is no stranger to controversy. He is most widely known for calling out Pope Francis for negligible church leadership. Little did everyone know that Vigano is also an avid rock musician walking around in clerical garments. Turns out the veteran Catholic cleric has been former Genesis drummer and vocalist Phil Collins this whole time. Now everyone can see his true colors shining through.<\/p>\n
After enjoying the success of being one of the biggest pop-rock artists throughout the 80s and 90s, Vigano Collins spends most of his time in exile writing letters in the form of sad love songs. \u201cI thought I\u2019d escape the hardships of stardom by taking refuge in a religious vocation,\u201d laments the hardened Archbishop, \u201cbut I can\u2019t turn back the years.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHas anyone ever seen both Vigano and Phil Collins in the same room together?\u201d said a former parishioner who shall remain unnamed. \u201cI certainly haven\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\nImage credits: Wikimedia Commons (left), Photo by Sebastian Gerhard (right)<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
In an unreleased music video, Vigano is reported to have addressed the Holy Father (who has repeatedly declined to comment) by singing, \u201cTalk to me. You never talk to me. Ooh, and it seems that I can speak. Well, I can hear my voice shoutin\u2019 out. But there\u2019s no reply at all.\u201d<\/p>\n
After watching footage of Pope Francis giving a public announcement of his latest encyclical Tutti Frutti<\/em>, Vigano reportedly shouted at his television set while sitting behind his drum kit,\u00a0\u201cYou can wipe off that grin, I know where you\u2019ve been. It\u2019s all been a pack of lies!\u201d<\/p>\n
As a guest on Dr. Taylor Marshall\u2019s latest podcast episode, Vigano responded to his concerns while emphasizing, \u201cThere\u2019s a word that\u2019s been on my mind all the time. Du-du-DUBIA.\u201d<\/p>\n
When questioned about the authenticity of Dr. Marshall\u2019s claims of a Marxist infiltration of the Roman Catholic Church, Vigano digressed, \u201cJesus he knows me, and he knows I\u2019m right! I\u2019ve been talking to Jesus all my life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Vigano had also recently addressed a letter to U.S. President Donald Trump sharing his vision of what could be the makings of an apocalyptic new world order should Western civilization chose to embrace socialism. An excerpt from his letter states, \u201cThere\u2019s too many men, too many people making too many problems. And there\u2019s not much love to go around. Can\u2019t you see this is the land of confusion?\u201d<\/p>\n
In response to a question posed by a reporter from Church Militant regarding corruption within the Vatican, Vigano sighs,\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s always the same, it\u2019s just a shame, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n
When asked if Vigano will reunite with his former band Genesis for a final farewell tour, he abruptly replied, \u201cI don\u2019t care anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
***SATIRE*** Archbishop Vigano is no stranger to controversy. He is most widely known for calling out Pope Francis for negligible church leadership. Little did everyone know that Vigano is also an avid rock musician walking around in clerical garments. Turns out the veteran Catholic cleric has been former Genesis drummer and vocalist Phil Collins this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4021,"featured_media":27949,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1255],"tags":[2593,259,265,283,1285,2605,2608,1611,2599,2602,2611,2596],"class_list":["post-27946","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","tag-archbishop-vigano","tag-catholic","tag-catholic-church","tag-catholicism","tag-church-militant","tag-dr-taylor-marshall","tag-phil-collins","tag-radtrad","tag-satire","tag-taylor-marshall","tag-trad","tag-vigano"],"yoast_head":"\n
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