Photo courtesy of Pixabay<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p>I don\u2019t think they had come for the baptism.\u00a0 In fact, I know they hadn\u2019t.\u00a0 But I met them for the first time on the day of the baptism of baby Madeline (little \u201cMaddie\u201d), on November 28, 1999.<\/p>\n
The first and strongest impression was the overwhelming stench.\u00a0 I\u2019ve done thousands of baptisms \u2013 in Europe, in Africa and in the USA, but I\u2019ve never been so overcome by the smell of urine at any other baptism.\u00a0 It seems as if she were an instantaneous converter of all liquids into a heavy ammonia-filled odor.\u00a0 It was hard to stay focused on the ceremony.\u00a0 I could see and hear people shifting uncomfortably in their seats.\u00a0 It was going to be a long morning.\u00a0 As I poured the water over \u201cMaddie\u2019s\u201d forehead, she cooed delightedly \u2013 and her parents, godparents and grandparents forgot the odor and smiled in return.<\/p>\n
Now, in case you\u2019re thinking that little Maddie was the source of the stench or the urine, let me hasten to assure you that she wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 She smelled of Talcum powder and clean new clothes.\u00a0 The smell was coming from Lucille, who was sitting in the very last pew (aptly named), just near the exit.\u00a0 She was in her thirties, obese, retarded and homeless.\u00a0 And she plied herself with Pepsi, all the better to keep the \u201cconverter\u201d running.\u00a0 Beside her sat Donnie \u2013 also homeless and, it became obvious during the course of the day, utterly devoted to Lucille.\u00a0 She might as well have been a movie star in elegant apparel and sprinkled with costly fragrances.\u00a0 He explained apologetically to me that she was incontinent and that they just needed someplace to rest awhile and then they\u2019d be on their way.<\/p>\n
Sometimes it\u2019s really hard to see beyond the spacesuit and the costume to the ancient, eternal spirit-being inside.\u00a0 It was easy to do it with little Maddie but not so easy with Lucille and Donnie.\u00a0 It was all I could do to not wrinkle my nose as I hugged her during the sign of peace.\u00a0 My vestments stank for the remainder of the mass.<\/p>\n
I only saw them once ever again, on El Camino Real near a burritoria on Showers Drive in Mountain View.\u00a0 With one hand he was pushing a Safeway cart that contained all their earthly possessions.\u00a0 The other arm was wrapped protectively around Lucille\u2019s shoulders as she trundled along leaving a trail of wetness in her wake, and nursing her ubiquitous Pepsi.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t see me and I didn\u2019t call out to them.\u00a0 If it were little Maddie and her parents, I\u2019d have honked and waved enthusiastically.\u00a0 But it was only Donnie and Lucille, so I stayed quiet until they had passed.\u00a0 An incontinent Mary, and a toothless Joseph guiding their steel, four-wheeled donkey towards Bethlehem.<\/p>\n
Mea culpa!<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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