![\"bible](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/253\/2019\/04\/Creepy-hands.jpg\" "\\"Zombies!\\"")
I recently summarized my Top 20 list of the Bible\u2019s most damning contradictions<\/a>. But wouldn\u2019t you know it\u2014like zombies that just keep coming, there are more!<\/p>\n These aren\u2019t trivial contradictions\u2014something such as the number of years of a king\u2019s reign reported differently in two places. No, these are contradictions that can\u2019t easily be dismissed.<\/p>\n Christian apologists have had 2000 years to notice the problems and come up with something, but that doesn\u2019t mean their answers are satisfactory. If anyone points out that my examples here are wrong or misleading, I\u2019ll correct them and identify the helpful reader.<\/p>\n Some of these aren\u2019t contradictions so much as plot holes\u2014two plot elements that can\u2019t coexist. This is an example.<\/p>\n The gospels clearly and repeatedly show Jesus predicting his death and resurrection. Here are just a few of more than ten examples:<\/p>\n [Jesus said,] \u201cWe are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and the teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death and will deliver Him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified<\/strong>. And on the third day He will be raised to life<\/strong>.\u201d (Matthew 20:18\u201319)<\/p>\n Then He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests, and scribes, and that He must be killed and after three days rise again<\/strong>. (Mark 8:31)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n They know that Jesus will soon be crucified, and they know how long until he\u2019s raised from the dead. But if everyone knows this, why then are they morose after the crucifixion? Why are women going to the tomb with spices, expecting to find a dead body? Why does the empty tomb surprise them? And why wasn\u2019t there a crowd to witness the miraculous event themselves\u2014if not the multitudes that welcomed Jesus into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday just a week earlier, then at least his inner circle?<\/p>\n You see what I meant about the plot hole\u2014a good editor would\u2019ve noticed that a straightforward consequence of Jesus\u2019s many clear declarations about rising again would\u2019ve brought people eager to see the promise fulfilled\u2014or at least unsurprised when it was.<\/p>\n (h\/t<\/em> Debunking Christianity<\/a>)<\/p>\n Clear your mind of that problem and let\u2019s review the empty-tomb story from a different angle. The women visit the tomb of Jesus to apply spices to the body and are shocked to see the tomb empty. They run back to tell the male disciples (or not, according to Mark) who are likewise astonished. Later that evening, Doubting Thomas, who surely performed more laudable actions in his life than just doubt, did what he\u2019s best known for.<\/p>\n But why would it have been astonishing, on Sunday morning, to find Jesus risen from the dead? Remember this incident:<\/p>\n [At the moment of Jesus\u2019s death,] the earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs after Jesus\u2019 resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people<\/strong>. (Matthew 27:51\u20133)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Here\u2019s the chronology. Jesus died on Friday evening, and at that moment many worthy dead people came to life. Jesus resurrected (he was to be \u201cthree days and three nights in the heart of the earth\u201d [Matt. 12:40], which Friday evening to Sunday morning isn\u2019t, but let\u2019s ignore that), and then the newly undead people left their tombs to walk around Jerusalem. Next, the women found the empty tomb, and then word spread among the male disciples. The gospels differ over whether the women were the first to see the risen Jesus at the tomb (Matthew and John), or the disciples were the first see him Sunday night (Luke), or nobody sees him (Mark). Finally, a week later, Doubting Thomas saw Jesus.<\/p>\n Though the zombies are never connected to the Jesus story, the literary goal is easy to imagine. The resurrection of Jesus was the first fruits of his triumph over death, with the zombie resurrection in Jerusalem a demonstration to emphasize the point.<\/p>\n The problem is that surprise is an important part of this story, but no one would be surprised by a risen Jesus once they\u2019d seen the crowd of undead. What\u2019s one more, particularly when he was the instigator of the process? Word of the remarkable sight of walking dead would\u2019ve traveled quickly through Jerusalem.<\/p>\n When the women returned, breathless with the news of having seen Jesus (or just the empty tomb), the disciples could\u2019ve replied that Jerusalem was crawling with zombies, so what\u2019s one more? Or, if that news hadn\u2019t reached the disciples by the time the women returned, everyone in the city would\u2019ve surely heard by the time Doubting Thomas finally saw Jesus a week later. Knowing of the zombies days earlier, how could Thomas have been surprised that Jesus had risen as well? Jesus showing his wounds and Thomas touching them for confirmation wouldn\u2019t have happened.<\/p>\n About a wide range of Christian commentaries on this passage, Patheos blogger Neil Carter said<\/a>, \u201cAlmost none of them think this really happened.\u201d Nevertheless, the contradiction remains: Thomas, knowing about the zombies as everyone in Jerusalem surely did, would\u2019ve dropped his demand that Jesus prove that he really rose from the dead.<\/p>\n (h\/t<\/em> to Neil\u2019s post<\/a>, which is where I learned about this contradiction.)<\/p>\n Continue to part 6<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n21. Jesus predicts his death and resurrection, but everyone forgot<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
22. Jesus and the zombies <\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n