We were putting down our Christmas decorations this weekend. \u00a0In Catholic life, Christmas comes to an end rather late. \u00a0We tried to make the most of it, though endless problems, a death in the family, sickness and a polar vortex that challenged our ramshackle house took away many of the traditions we\u2019ve enjoyed in years past. \u00a0That\u2019s tough, since this was our 18 year old\u2019s Senior year and we wanted it to be a special year. \u00a0Hopefully we had enough family time to offset the issues.<\/p>\n
Which leads me to where I am. \u00a0As we were putting things away, I noticed a special ornament. \u00a0It was a commemorative ornament my wife and I received years ago. \u00a0I was just starting out in ministry. \u00a0Though I was a second year seminary student, I already had made a mark with my colleagues. \u00a0I was older than many, and my testimony (recent convert) got me speaking engagements beyond what my lack of experience would suggest. \u00a0By 1994, I was serving at one of flagship churches in Kentucky. \u00a0I had already spoken at large gatherings, youth rallies and other special occasions. <\/p>\n
I was doing well in school. Professors and students recommended that I should continue on and get a PhD. \u00a0Perhaps be a professor myself. \u00a0Within years, I had visited governor\u2019s mansions, dined with the president of one of the country\u2019s leading seminaries, had lunch with a Secretary of State. \u00a0I had met religious leaders. \u00a0I had become a senior pastor. \u00a0I had gone back to school to pursue the doctoral degree that so many people recommended.<\/p>\n
And that year, at the start of it all, my wife and I sat in the balcony, with the senior pastor, local business leaders, media personnel, professors and other leaders of the denomination. \u00a0We were watching the annual Christmas performance, a local event broadcast and promoted throughout the season. \u00a0And during intermission, the pastor presented select guests with a commemorative ornament. \u00a0 My wife and I received one. \u00a0There was applause from the audience. \u00a0All seemed to be a horizon bright with a wonderful future.<\/p>\n
Now, as I type this, I prepare to go to my job. \u00a0A mid-day schedule. \u00a0For four days a week, and one day in the weekend, I\u2019m removed from my family. \u00a0I don\u2019t make enough to pay bills, and my wife can\u2019t find work. \u00a0Without what she gets from the government, we\u2019d be bankrupt. \u00a0We\u2019ve lost all savings, most retirement, and virtually everything we\u2019ve had. <\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been told that there is nothing for me in our diocese. \u00a0That\u2019s it. \u00a0There isn\u2019t anything. \u00a0The reasons are varied, and I can\u2019t quite tell why. \u00a0I see others coming into the Church and doing well, though most to be honest had other vocations than just Protestant Clergy. \u00a0Most were professors. \u00a0Or they had some other vocation in life they could lean on.<\/p>\n
Despite the stories told by certain lay apostolates, there really aren\u2019t many full time vocational clergy who become Catholic. \u00a0And I can\u2019t help but guess I\u2019m why. \u00a0It\u2019s one thing to say sell everything you have for that pearl of great value. \u00a0It\u2019s another to do it. <\/p>\n
The family has certainly suffered, especially the boys. \u00a0Those outside who know of our plight have increasingly begun to tell us to come home to the Protestant world. \u00a0Get a job. Serve the Church. \u00a0Be loved. \u00a0Be accepted. \u00a0Family and former colleagues who know what we\u2019ve been through have been ratcheting up the invites. \u00a0But here\u2019s the problem. \u00a0I don\u2019t believe it. \u00a0Protestantism that is. \u00a0I believe in the historic faith as live out in the Catholic tradition. \u00a0As Peter said, where do I go? \u00a0When I believe something is true, what are my options?<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not sure if the Church would care, though I know some individual Catholics would. \u00a0Nonetheless, I can\u2019t leave what I believe to be true, even though I feel I would be cared for better if I did so. \u00a0I must trudge along. Still, I can\u2019t help wonder at times, just like now, what happened. \u00a0A life that seemed so full of promise, so full of encouragement, now this. \u00a0A diamond in the rough a former colleague called me. \u00a0Someone who had something to give. \u00a0That seems so long ago. \u00a0Now, I must get ready. \u00a0I\u2019m a paper pusher underpaid and unable to support my family. \u00a0I\u2019ve been told there is no future in the Church, at least not in these parts. \u00a0As it stands now, I must go on wondering.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We were putting down our Christmas decorations this weekend. \u00a0In Catholic life, Christmas comes to an end rather late. \u00a0We tried to make the most of it, though endless problems, a death in the family, sickness and a polar vortex that challenged our ramshackle house took away many of the traditions we\u2019ve enjoyed in years […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2805,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1695","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n