As we head into our first full week of double unemployment sans benefits, I can\u2019t help but reflect upon one of the most fateful decisions in my life.\u00a0 In 1998, I went back to school to pursue a doctoral degree.\u00a0 My initial plan was to study historical theology, that is, the historical development of theology within the Christian faith.\u00a0 Because of shakeups at the school had reduced the theology department, I was left with a focus on Systematic Theology as my major, with Old Testament theology and Patristics (the study of the early Church Fathers) as my two minors.\u00a0
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Many things were going on in our life at that time.\u00a0 My wife was none too happy about returning to a school that had turned back to the more June Cleaver approach to understanding a woman\u2019s role in life.\u00a0 This created tension in our marriage.\u00a0 Plus,\u00a0I was not happy with the tone and tenor of the school either.\u00a0 When I first went to pursue my Masters, the school was certainly moderate to left of center, with there being a noticeable scorn that the more progressive professors and students had for the traditional brand of Christianity.\u00a0 Many conservative students had objected to this, calling it judgemental, unchristian, and wrong.\u00a0 Lo and behold, when the school became almost exclusively conservative (and increasingly Calvinist), what did those same students and professors do who had complained?\u00a0 You got it.\u00a0 The same thing.\u00a0 That level of hypocrisy left a bad taste in my mouth. <\/p>\n
The biggest problem, however, was that I was already questioning my faith vis-a-vis the Protestant, Evangelical, Baptist expressions of the Christian faith.\u00a0 As a pastor, I began to wonder about the doctrines of Baptist life.\u00a0 Heck, I began to wonder about Christianity as a whole, since at the time, I only had the Protestant expression to consider.\u00a0 Sola Scriptura<\/em> was a big problem, as was the multiple denominational interpretations of Scripture without a clear authority (or an authority that was acknowledged).<\/p>\n It was in one particular seminar that his came crashing down.\u00a0 The particular focus of the seminar was on the Providence of God.\u00a0 That is, how God actually makes this old creation work.\u00a0 Is there free will?\u00a0 Does God preordain everything?\u00a0 Does God actually damn people to hell, or can\u00a0people freely choose (and freely lose) their salvation?\u00a0 Most of the class was conservative Calvinist, but we had enough\u00a0students who were from the Arminian tradition (the opposite of Calvinist) to bring the discussion to a boil.\u00a0 <\/p>\n Back and forth the debate raged. Scriptures were tossed\u00a0to and fro like a volleyball out of control.\u00a0 One would appeal to Romans\u00a09, another to John 3:16, one would\u00a0invoke the Old Israelite\u00a0covenants, while looking to Paul\u2019s more universal appeals in Romans and Ephesians was used by another.\u00a0 At that moment, I\u00a0literally lost my faith \u2013 at least my faith in Protestant Christianity.\u00a0 As a pastor, that was something.\u00a0 I\u00a0no longer\u00a0believed.\u00a0 Where to go?\u00a0\u00a0What to do?\u00a0 <\/p>\n Well, what happened has been mentioned on other posts.\u00a0 What I chose to do was throw myself into pastoral ministry, get as far away from the school as possible, come back to my childhood stomping grounds, and\u00a0hope that this would all make\u00a0my grasp of Christian theology work\u00a0better in the trenches of actual hands-on ministry.\u00a0 Therefore, on the eve of the new millennium, when all the world wondered about Y2K, we packed up our meager belongings into a moving van and headed north to Ohio.\u00a0 And here we have remained.<\/p>\n All of this is to say that, in hindsight, I would have been better to remain in the program and complete my doctorate \u2013 assuming I would have succeeded of course.\u00a0 The pastoral ministry did not salve my wounds of doubt.\u00a0 In fact, the church I pastored was so riddled with problems, it became crucial toward opening my wife\u2019s eyes up to the dark side of Protestant life.\u00a0 This was important because the time we chose to begin moving toward the Catholic Church was at the height of the sex abuse revelations.\u00a0 Though we eventually left that church for another (and quite wonderful) church assignment, what we saw at that Church did more to erase any concerns about the problems within the Catholic Church than anything I could imagine. <\/p>\n In the end, we came into the Catholic Church.\u00a0 We went through much: agonizing hours of prayer, study, reflection discussion, debate, argument, and searching.\u00a0 We left everything behind: colleagues and friends, our livelihoods (she taught at a Protestant Christian School), our benefits, retirement, income.\u00a0 We uprooted our children from a rather calm and idyllic life where they were with Mom or Dad most of the time, where we were there for them when they needed it, where they were \u2018the Pastor\u2019s kids\u2019 in a religious environment where that still meant something.\u00a0 And what we received?\u00a0 <\/p>\n Well, we received Truth and full communion with Christ through the Eucharist and the Sacramental ministries of the Catholic Church.\u00a0 But alas, as I never went the path of a certified Chaplain, nor did I complete my doctorate and receive a PhD, that is what we have received.\u00a0 I\u2019m not saying that\u2019s nothing.\u00a0 It\u2019s that proverbial pearl of great value.\u00a0 But as we are now realizing, that pearl of great value may be food for the soul, but it doesn\u2019t pay bills or put mundane food on the table.\u00a0 I wonder, quite frequently, if I had stayed and finished my PhD if things would have turned out differently.\u00a0 Would I have come into the Church?\u00a0 Probably.\u00a0 It was being in a PhD program and seeing at the highest scholarly levels the deficiencies of Protestant Doctrine that kicked me down the path toward Rome in the first place\u00a0 <\/p>\n But more to the point, would I have a job?\u00a0 Fact of the matter is, there are scant few \u2018Protestant Clergy Converts to Catholicism.\u2019 There really aren\u2019t that many.\u00a0 Oh, there are \u2018Clergy\u2019 converts in that you have fellows who served in some capacity in Protestant ministry.\u00a0 But on the whole, most usually had other actual vocations that they could lean upon.\u00a0 Many did have PhDs, and though they may have been tossed out of a Protestant seminary, they found eager arms in Catholic universities or even secular universities.\u00a0 Others who convert under the title \u2018Former Protestant Clergy\u2019 are, to be honest, former clergy in the broadest sense: seminarians who never even served as clergy, part time clergy, an odd youth pastor, a bi-vocational minister (someone who serves churches but has a career outside of actual ministry), or sometimes, simply\u00a0a person who did ministry services by way of their careers (a lawyer who served in some church capacity for instance).\u00a0 The point being, the fabled \u2018minister walks away from pulpit to enter the Catholic Church\u2019 are few and far between. <\/p>\n Why?\u00a0 This is why.\u00a0 Because most fellows are not prepared to lose everything they have, go bankrupt and broke and homeless, and consign their families to hardships and destitution for the Catholic Faith.\u00a0 That\u2019s why.\u00a0 Not that I\u2019m all that wonderful.\u00a0 I\u2019m just stubborn.\u00a0\u00a0 I believe the Catholic Faith is the Truth of God revealed to humanity.\u00a0 So I won\u2019t be going anywhere any time soon.\u00a0 And knowing what I know now probably wouldn\u2019t have changed much.\u00a0 It might only have prepared me more.\u00a0 As it was, I got caught up with a couple apostolates (that\u2019s ministries to Protestant ears) that assured me all works out, the Church is big and helps and most ministers end up doing just fine.\u00a0 <\/p>\n Well, Catholics help out.\u00a0 Being a generous lot, we\u2019ve received more than one generous act of alms giving from fabulously generous individuals in the Church since we\u2019ve come into Cath Which brings me to reality.\u00a0 The fact is, for people who have normal resumes, it is a brutal job market.\u00a0 Many Clergy Converts who insist all will work out are, to be honest, gray haired and getting\u00a0 old.\u00a0 They came into the Church in the 80s and 90s, when the economy appeared to be booming, when having a\u00a0 Masters (any Masters) was a feather in the cap and one could almost walk in and find employment that same day.\u00a0\u00a0I know this because I associated with many pastors who were bi-vocational and had no problems finding employment.\u00a0 But that was then. This is now, where people with training and education for a particular job are having difficulty finding employment.\u00a0 How less a person whose resume says \u2018former religious guy with religious degree from religious school.\u2019\u00a0 <\/p>\n Hence our problem.\u00a0 So I\u2019ve wondered, as I watch the funds fade away and see the inevitable cardboard box under an overpass looming before me, if I had chosen a different path if things would be better now.\u00a0 Had I stayed in school, and not fled into the trenches of pastoral ministry to sort out my problems, if things would look different than they do today.\u00a0 I wonder if I would have stayed, received the doctorate, and come into the Church, would I be teaching at some Catholic university, providing direction and stability for my family, and showing my children all that the world holds through communion with the Catholic Church.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 It\u2019s a dream I have.\u00a0 But alas, at this point in where we are, I\u2019m afraid a dream is what it must remain.\u00a0 <\/p>\n Prayers will be appreciated.\u00a0 And if anyone knows anyone who is itching to hire a former Protestant minister, please send me a note.\u00a0 Pax. <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As we head into our first full week of double unemployment sans benefits, I can\u2019t help but reflect upon one of the most fateful decisions in my life.\u00a0 In 1998, I went back to school to pursue a doctoral degree.\u00a0 My initial plan was to study historical theology, that is, the historical development of theology […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2805,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nolicism. But the point is, the Church itself is not geared for helping Protestant Clergy Converts.\u00a0 Anglican priests?\u00a0 Yes, they can get into the priesthood without getting their feet wet.\u00a0 A few other denominations: Lutheran and sometimes Methodist.\u00a0 But if you don\u2019t feel called to the priesthood, and you don\u2019t have a PhD, you had best settle on hanging up your ministry experience for good and getting a job in the secular world. <\/p>\n