For Dad<\/span><\/p>\nWritten 30 June 2003<\/span><\/p>\nDelivered 3 July 2003 (Rose Hills Cemetery, Whittier, California)<\/span><\/p>\nFirst of all, I want to thank all those who have helped Mom and Dad through these last, difficult, years.\u00a0 The ward.\u00a0 Their home teacher, Gary Walburger.\u00a0 Mom\u2019s visiting teacher, Lou Ann Hatch.\u00a0 Particularly Angelina, Virginia, Blanca, Gus, my aunt Mary, and\u2014most especially\u2014my brother, Kenneth.<\/span><\/p>\nI\u2019ve written my remarks out, hoping that I might have a better chance of getting through this.\u00a0 (My initial practice run was not encouraging.)\u00a0 I wrote almost all of these notes while sitting with Dad in the hospital over the weekend, while he dozed\u2014and when it became inescapably obvious to me that his earthly stay could not (and should not) continue much longer.<\/span><\/p>\nA totally unexpected stroke left Dad blind six years ago, and deprived him of almost everything he liked to do.\u00a0 He had already been obliged to give up hunting and fishing and golf.\u00a0 Now he couldn\u2019t read.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t work in his beautiful yard.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t follow the stock market or research family history.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t even watch Dodger baseball games or play cards or practice tricks on his pool table.\u00a0 For obvious reasons, he became very fond of a famous old Protestant hymn written by John Newton:<\/span><\/p>\nAmazing grace! (how sweet the sound)<\/p>\n
That sav\u2019d a wretch like me!<\/p>\n
I once was lost, but now am found,<\/p>\n
Was blind, but now I see.<\/p>\n
At first, he talked a great deal about getting his sight back.\u00a0 With the passing of the long dark years, though, he mentioned that possibility more seldom, and, gradually, his muscles atrophied and his mind lost its sharpness and he spent more and more of his life immobile, a prisoner of his rocking chair.\u00a0\u00a0 But he never entirely gave up hope.\u00a0 With touching determination, he hurled his fading memory at stacks of Spanish instructional tapes\u2014over and over and over again.\u00a0 As recently as last Friday, he asked me whether he would ever be able to see again.\u00a0 I told him Yes.\u00a0 What I\u00a0didn\u2019t\u00a0<\/em>tell him was that I expected it to be only in the next life.\u00a0 And now, after his long night of darkness, he\u00a0can<\/em>\u00a0see again.\u00a0 \u201cSomeday we\u2019ll understand all of this,\u201d he said to me several times over the past few months.\u00a0 Now the mental fog that increasingly gathered about him and so frustrated him has been burned away by warm, brilliant, loving light.\u00a0 All is clear.\u00a0 In the words of a beloved Mormon hymn, \u201cThe morning breaks, the shadows flee!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\nJohn Newton\u2019s \u201cAmazing Grace\u201d contains another verse, far less known than the one I\u2019ve already quoted.\u00a0 Dad was probably unfamiliar with it.\u00a0 But it describes perfectly what has happened to him this week:<\/span><\/p>\nYes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,<\/span><\/p>\nAnd mortal life shall cease;<\/span><\/p>\nI shall possess, within the veil,<\/span><\/p>\nA life of joy and peace.<\/span><\/p>\nMore and more, as Dad sat there in darkness, his mind journeyed back to earlier days, to (among other things) life on the family farm in North Dakota.\u00a0 Several times, he told me of the prayer he prayed as a little boy, part ready-made and part personalized:<\/span><\/p>\nNow I lay me down to sleep.<\/span><\/p>\nI pray the Lord my soul to keep.<\/span><\/p>\nIf I should die before I wake,<\/span><\/p>\nI pray the Lord my soul to take.<\/span><\/p>\nGod bless Papa and Mama, Nellie, George, Alvina, Clarence, Ernest, and Selmer.<\/span><\/p>\nFor the past several years, Dad has been the last of that little Scandinavian farm family.\u00a0 All had gone on before him.\u00a0 As I visited with him this past weekend, I found myself unable to pray for his recovery.\u00a0 I could only tell him how much we loved him, and pray that he would be received on the other side by those who loved him at least as much.<\/span><\/p>\nI do not believe that he was alone when that time came, when, as he had prayed as a child, the Lord finally did take his soul.\u00a0 I expect that Papa and Mama, Nellie, George, Alvina, Clarence, Ernest, and Selmer were there to welcome him home, in a wonderful reunion with those whom he had \u201cloved long since, and lost a while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\nAs I\u2019ve mentioned, I was able to spend much of last weekend\u2014his last weekend\u2014with Dad, something for which I\u2019ll always be grateful.\u00a0 Perhaps because of his medications, Dad was \u201cconfused\u201d\u2014that was\u00a0his<\/em>\u00a0word\u2014about many things in his final three or four days.\u00a0 But the quality of his character was as clear as ever.\u00a0 Perhaps even clearer, because, as his conversation grew repetitive, he repeated the things that really mattered to him.\u00a0 At the end, his concerns were about whether he had led a good life, whether he had contributed anything, done some good, whether we had a good relationship, whether we were all close as a family. \u00a0I told him Yes, on all counts.<\/span><\/p>\nOver his last few days, this veteran of the Eleventh Armored Division, of Patton\u2019s Third Army, didn\u2019t remember military experiences in the Ardennes Forest of Belgium.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t remember the blackout over London, the V-1 and V-2 rocket attacks that he had told me about so often.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t remember his unit\u2019s role in the liberation of the Nazi death camp at Mauthausen, in Austria, which had been such a pivotal experience of his earlier life.<\/span><\/p>\nHe didn\u2019t remember, until I reminded him, his studies at forestry school in North Dakota, or his stint in Roosevelt\u2019s Civilian Conservation Corps, or his pre-war enlistment in the horse cavalry down by El Centro.\u00a0 The old sense of humor was still there, though, when memories came back to him.\u00a0 He thought that his stay in the cavalry would be a short one.\u00a0 But then came Pearl Harbor, and a note from the president telling him that his military career had been extended \u201cfor the duration.\u201d\u00a0 Lying on his bed last Saturday, he chuckled at the letter\u2019s cheery opening word:\u00a0 \u201cGreetings!\u201d said President Roosevelt.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u00a0<\/em>was nice of him!\u201d remembered Dad.\u00a0 And when the physical therapist asked him, on Sunday, what the main problem was, he replied, \u201cI\u2019m getting awfully damned old!\u00a0 That\u2019s the problem!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\nSeveral years ago, Brigham Young University hosted a conference on the \u201cliberators,\u201d the now-aging soldiers who had put an end to Hitler\u2019s concentration camps and freed their few nearly starved survivors.\u00a0 Dad didn\u2019t want to come.\u00a0 But he surrendered to pressure and pleas, and he did.\u00a0 And when, at a concluding luncheon for the conference, the conference organizers asked the veterans to rise, receive a standing ovation, and be given a plaque, he broke down and sobbed.\u00a0 Only once before in my life had I seen him weep so.<\/span><\/p>\nLast weekend, as Dad lay pathetically in his hospital bed, he looked all too much like the concentration camp inmates that he had helped to free nearly six decades earlier.\u00a0 The liberator, one of the dwindling number of what has justly been called \u201cthe greatest generation,\u201d now himself needed liberation from a body that was, simply, worn out.<\/span><\/p>\nA couple of Fridays ago, I spoke with him on the telephone.\u00a0 As I always did, I asked him how he was.\u00a0 \u201cDan,\u201d he answered in an exceptionally strong and clear voice, \u201cI can\u2019t do\u00a0anything<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 As if he were preparing me for what was soon to follow, he told me that he was ready to go, and that I shouldn\u2019t be sad when he did.<\/span><\/p>\nA radio advertisement has been playing in Utah recently, for a performance of the\u00a0Requiem<\/em>\u00a0by Gabriel Faur\u00e9.\u00a0 In it, Faur\u00e9 is quoted as responding to critics who thought his\u00a0Requiem\u00a0<\/em>wasn\u2019t gloomy enough.\u00a0 It was, they said, a kind of \u201clullaby to death.\u201d\u00a0 Faur\u00e9 cheerfully conceded that that was indeed exactly what it was.\u00a0 Death, he said, comes as a deliverer.\u00a0 It opens the path to a better place.\u00a0 Certainly, it did so for Dad.<\/span><\/p>\nAt the end, Dad didn\u2019t really remember E. C. Construction Company, the many factories and streets and neighborhoods that he and his colleagues had helped to build.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t remember his service as a counselor in the bishopric of the San Gabriel Ward or his assisting in the family history library, or his work with the Boy Scouts.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t remember that he had helped to build the chapel that I attended when I was growing up, and that, for years, even though he wasn\u2019t a member of the Church, some members jokingly called him \u201cbishop,\u201d honoring him for his willingness to help.<\/span><\/p>\nAs we talked about some of the many good things he had done, and the places he had seen, he remarked, \u201cI\u2019m learning a lot of new things.\u00a0 I\u2019ll bet\u00a0you<\/em>\u00a0are, too.\u201d\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t, of course.\u00a0 These were the things I had seen in and learned from my Dad.\u00a0 But when he finally said, with some relief, \u201cI guess it wasn\u2019t too bad a life.\u00a0 Maybe I did a few good things,\u201d I was happy and proud to be able to answer him, \u201cYes, Dad, you did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\nI believe that my father is one of those to whom the Savior will say\u2014perhaps already\u00a0has<\/em>\u00a0said\u2014in the words of the New Testament parable of the talents, \u201cWell done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.\u201d\u00a0 (Matthew 25:21.)<\/span><\/p>\nA modest and shy person, Dad would never have seen himself as a great man.\u00a0 Yet he was.\u00a0 In all the truly important things, he was.\u00a0 He loved my mother, and, to his very last day, worried about whether she was receiving adequate care.\u00a0 He was my first and only missionary convert.\u00a0 I was privileged to baptize him\u2014and Kenneth to confirm him a member\u2014on the night I was set apart as a missionary.\u00a0 Kenneth and I could have had no better father.\u00a0 When, just after his stroke, I was about to publish a book, it suddenly came to me with a flash almost of revelation that I had to dedicate it to my father, and how that dedication should read:\u00a0 Quoting Jesus\u2019 description of Nathanael, I dedicated it \u201cTo my father, Carl P. Peterson\u2014an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no guile.\u201d\u00a0 (John 1:47.)\u00a0 Dad worried about that dedication.\u00a0 He was afraid that I was calling him \u201cperfect.\u201d\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t, of course.\u00a0 But Dad\u00a0was\u00a0<\/em>entirely without guile or deceit.\u00a0 He was a loving, gentle, patient man.\u00a0 Humble, self-effacing.\u00a0 Kind.<\/span><\/p>\nOf such is the Kingdom of Heaven.<\/span><\/p>\nI loved him, and I continue to love him, more than I have words to express.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 Incredibly to me, my father died twenty-two years ago today. \u00a0Soon, it will have been a quarter of a century. I still miss him very much. \u00a0Somewhat to my surprise, I still think about him every day. \u00a0Certain sights always, invariably, remind me of him, sometimes for reasons that aren\u2019t clear to me. \u00a0There […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1019,"featured_media":34728,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[31423,31420,5523,19826,19829,936],"class_list":["post-110912","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-carl-p-peterson","tag-carl-peter-peterson","tag-carl-peterson","tag-daniel-c-peterson","tag-daniel-carl-peterson","tag-daniel-peterson"],"yoast_head":"\n
Twenty-two years ago<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\" Incredibly to me, my father died twenty-two years ago today. \u00a0Soon, it will have been a quarter of a century. I still miss him very much. \u00a0Somewhat\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Twenty-two years ago\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\" Incredibly to me, my father died twenty-two years ago today. \u00a0Soon, it will have been a quarter of a century. I still miss him very much. \u00a0Somewhat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Sic et Non\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-06-30T17:01:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/186\/2016\/06\/Screen-Shot-2016-06-30-at-9.03.27-PM.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"576\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Dan Peterson\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Dan Peterson\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html\",\"name\":\"Twenty-two years ago\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2025-06-30T17:01:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-06-30T17:01:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/#\/schema\/person\/77113e9b09701bd1599fa272c4f65045\"},\"description\":\" Incredibly to me, my father died twenty-two years ago today. \u00a0Soon, it will have been a quarter of a century. I still miss him very much. \u00a0Somewhat\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Twenty-two years ago\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/\",\"name\":\"Sic et Non\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/#\/schema\/person\/77113e9b09701bd1599fa272c4f65045\",\"name\":\"Dan Peterson\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5ed1a72d26805e35a503e3167599df7c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5ed1a72d26805e35a503e3167599df7c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Dan Peterson\"},\"description\":\"\\\"Life was very unsatisfying until I discovered Dan's blog, which gave me a reason to live.\\\" (gemli, 7 November 2019)\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/author\/danpeterson\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Twenty-two years ago","description":" Incredibly to me, my father died twenty-two years ago today. \u00a0Soon, it will have been a quarter of a century. I still miss him very much. \u00a0Somewhat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Twenty-two years ago","og_description":" Incredibly to me, my father died twenty-two years ago today. \u00a0Soon, it will have been a quarter of a century. I still miss him very much. \u00a0Somewhat","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html","og_site_name":"Sic et Non","article_published_time":"2025-06-30T17:01:00+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":576,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/186\/2016\/06\/Screen-Shot-2016-06-30-at-9.03.27-PM.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Dan Peterson","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Dan Peterson","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html","name":"Twenty-two years ago","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/#website"},"datePublished":"2025-06-30T17:01:00+00:00","dateModified":"2025-06-30T17:01:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/#\/schema\/person\/77113e9b09701bd1599fa272c4f65045"},"description":" Incredibly to me, my father died twenty-two years ago today. \u00a0Soon, it will have been a quarter of a century. I still miss him very much. \u00a0Somewhat","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/2025\/06\/twenty-two-years-ago.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Twenty-two years ago"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/","name":"Sic et Non","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/#\/schema\/person\/77113e9b09701bd1599fa272c4f65045","name":"Dan Peterson","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5ed1a72d26805e35a503e3167599df7c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5ed1a72d26805e35a503e3167599df7c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Dan Peterson"},"description":"\"Life was very unsatisfying until I discovered Dan's blog, which gave me a reason to live.\" (gemli, 7 November 2019)","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/author\/danpeterson"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/110912","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1019"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=110912"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/110912\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/34728"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=110912"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=110912"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/danpeterson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=110912"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"Detter,](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/186\/2018\/10\/Screen-Shot-2018-10-11-at-10.16.57-PM.png\")
<\/a>