Jolly old St. Nick has mellowed quite a bit since the fourth century \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0(Wikimedia Commons public domain image)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I lectured today, at BYU Education Week, on the subject of \u201cAthanasius and Arius,\u201d focusing mostly on the Nicene Council of AD 325 and the Nicene Creed that emerged from it.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
The victor at the Council, of course, was the future patriarch of Alexandria, eventually known as St. Athanasius the Great. \u00a0And the loser was the Alexandrian presbyter Arius, who has been branded by the mainstream Christian tradition ever since as a heretic (or even \u201carch-heretic\u201d).<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
The Council of Nicaea wasn\u2019t always (or ever?) a sedate and serene deliberative assembly. \u00a0One of my favorite scenes is when St. Nicholas of Myra, a town in what is today southern coastal Turkey, becomes so enraged with Arius that he marches up to him while he\u2019s speaking and decks him.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
And here\u2019s a description of Arius\u2019s death, in AD 336, given by Socrates Scholasticus, a furiously anti-Arian writer of the following century, that was \u2014 be warned! \u2014 carefully crafted to make that death as disgusting and undignified as possible:<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
It was then Saturday, and Arius was expecting to assemble with the church on the day following: but divine retribution overtook his daring criminalities. For going out of the imperial palace, attended by a crowd of Eusebian partisans like guards, he paraded proudly through the midst of the city, attracting the notice of all the people. As he approached the place called Constantine\u2019s Forum, where the column of porphyry is erected, a terror arising from the remorse of conscience seized Arius, and with the terror a violent relaxation of the bowels: he therefore enquired whether there was a convenient place near, and being directed to the back of Constantine\u2019s Forum, he hastened thither. Soon after a faintness came over him, and together with the evacuations his bowels protruded, followed by a copious hemorrhage, and the descent of the smaller intestines: moreover portions of his spleen and liver were brought off in the effusion of blood, so that he almost immediately died. The scene of this catastrophe still is shown at Constantinople, as I have said, behind the shambles in the colonnade: and, by persons going by pointing the finger at the place, there is a perpetual remembrance preserved of this extraordinary kind of death.<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ancient devotees of the Nicene Creed felt that Arius\u2019s sudden death was a divine miracle. \u00a0God smote the sinner. \u00a0Some modern scholars, by contrast, suggest that Arius was poisoned by the Nicene Trinitarian faction.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
But let\u2019s not be morose. \u00a0To cheer things up, it\u2019s time to roll out a favorite joke yet again. \u00a0It\u2019s\u00a0by Emo Philips, but I\u2019ve modified it very, very slightly for stylistic reasons:<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cDon\u2019t do it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cNobody loves me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cGod<\/em>\u00a0loves you. Do you believe in God?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cAre you a Christian or a Jew?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cA Christian.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cMe, too! Protestant or Catholic?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cProtestant.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cMe, too! What denomination?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cBaptist.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cMe, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cNorthern Baptist.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cMe, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cNorthern Conservative Baptist.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cMe, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cNorthern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cMe, too! \u00a0Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cNorthern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cDie, heretic!\u201d And I pushed him over.<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 I lectured today, at BYU Education Week, on the subject of \u201cAthanasius and Arius,\u201d focusing mostly on the Nicene Council of AD 325 and the Nicene Creed that emerged from it. \u00a0 The victor at the Council, of course, was the future patriarch of Alexandria, eventually known as St. Athanasius the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1019,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2161,2163,2171,2165,2167,371,2169],"class_list":["post-64131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-arius","tag-athanasius","tag-nicaea","tag-nicea","tag-nicene-council","tag-nicene-creed","tag-st-nicholas"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/a>