Mary Mickelsen Hall<\/a>, whom we came to know during the exciting years when her husband, Brent, was the dedicated and idealistic office manager at the old Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies (FARMS), the forerunner of what is now known as the Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship, and during the time that I served as one of his counselors in a BYU campus ward. \u00a0(That her maiden name is essentially the same as that in the title of John Gardner\u2019s novel is pure but not unfortunate coincidence.)<\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
I hope that Brent and his family won\u2019t mind that I share some notes from Mary\u2019s funeral.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
The funeral of a genuinely good person who has led a good life \u2014 and Mary was such a person if ever there was one \u2014 can be one of the best meetings that we will ever experience in this world. \u00a0And it\u2019s no contradiction in terms to say that this was an exceedingly good funeral.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
That it would be so was apparent from the very invocation, when a son-in-law, speaking emotionally and referring to the Savior, remarked appreciatively of Mary Hall that \u201cwe learned so much of him through her.\u201d \u00a0Thereafter, the music was unusually good, and all of the talks were moving and well-delivered. \u00a0But the fundamental reason for the pleasure, if you will, of being there at the funeral wasn\u2019t really in the excellence of the program. \u00a0It was in the quality of the life and of the person who was being honored.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
The famously salty-tongued Elder J. Golden Kimball (1853-1938) is said to have commented once, about the eulogies that he had delivered over the years at numerous funerals, that he had \u201cgiven many a man a ticket to the celestial glory that [he] knew damned well wouldn\u2019t get him more than half way there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
I myself have sat in more than one funeral where, while I was pleased to know that the deceased had had some good qualities of which I hadn\u2019t previously heard, I also knew from personal acquaintance that the dear departed soul wasn\u2019t quite the stained-glass model of holiness and perfect rectitude being portrayed in the funeral talks.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
This was emphatically not the case with Mary. \u00a0\u201cTo know Mary,\u201d said a daughter-in-law, \u201cis to love Mary, and to know Mary is to be loved by<\/em> Mary.\u201d<\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
That was not an exaggeration.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
For ten years \u2014 but especially over the past two of those years \u2014 Mary suffered the ravages of a terrible disease that eventually deprived her almost completely\u00a0of her memory and of her capacity to move and to speak. \u00a0And yet, remarkably, amid all the suffering and the indignities to which she was subjected, she could still say two things: \u00a0\u201cThank you\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s nobody\u2019s fault.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
How completely characteristic of her!<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
In the service this morning, one of Mary\u2019s daughters told of visiting with her in the hospital three years ago, when her ultimately fatal disease had taken a severe turn for the worse:<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
A social worker came into the hospital room and asked her a number of simple questions such as \u201cWhat is your name?\u201d and \u201cAre you married?\u201d \u00a0You might think<\/em> that they would be simple questions, and Mary knew that she should know the answers. \u00a0But she didn\u2019t. \u00a0And, as her inability to recall even such basic things became painfully apparent to her, she started to panic and grow upset and, when the social worker had gone, she began to sob.<\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
Fortunately, her daughter felt inspired to ask her, \u201cMom, what do<\/em> you remember?\u201d \u00a0Mary thought, and then responded: \u00a0\u201cI am a child of God,\u201d she said. \u00a0\u201cAnd you love me.\u201d<\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
What could be more fundamental, more important to know, than those two things?<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Latter-day Saints are human. \u00a0We have our limitations and our weaknesses. \u00a0We don\u2019t always live up to our aspirations. \u00a0Our communities aren\u2019t perfect. \u00a0Nevertheless, I close with three passages of scripture that convey the reality of life in a faithful Latter-day Saint community far more adequately than do the jaundiced comments, above, with which I opened this entry:<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Thou shalt\u00a0live\u00a0together in\u00a0love, insomuch that thou shalt\u00a0weep\u00a0for the loss of them that die, and more especially for those that have not\u00a0hope\u00a0of a glorious resurrection. \u00a0And it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall not\u00a0taste\u00a0of\u00a0death, for it shall be\u00a0sweet\u00a0unto them.<\/strong> \u00a0(Doctrine and Covenants 42:45-46)<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy\u00a0state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed\u00a0in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful\u00a0to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.<\/strong> \u00a0(Mosiah 2:41)<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are\u00a0desirous\u00a0to come into the\u00a0fold\u00a0of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another\u2019s burdens, that they may be light; yea, and are\u00a0willing\u00a0to mourn with those that\u00a0mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as\u00a0witnesses\u00a0of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the\u00a0first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life\u2014Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being\u00a0baptized\u00a0in the\u00a0name\u00a0of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a\u00a0covenant\u00a0with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?<\/strong> \u00a0(Mosiah 18:8-10)<\/span><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 \u00a0 Late last night, I came across a passage in which someone I once knew, a person who was once (to all appearances, anyway) an active and committed Latter-day Saint but who is now long and very vocally out of the Church, observes (with no evident demurral) that the\u00a0word Mormon often evokes thoughts of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1019,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-68121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/a>