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By now, you may have heard about this story:\u00a0 \u201cChurch settles case with SEC over financial reporting: Ensign Peak Advisors, Church of Jesus Christ agree to pay penalty to settle investigation.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n Although the episode has garnered national and international publicity, my sense is that most members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints<\/a> aren\u2019t paying much attention to it.\u00a0 Which, from my perspective, is perfectly fine.<\/p>\n Still, some committed Latter-day Saint commentators do seem, in fact, to be a little bit upset about it.\u00a0 I think that unfortunate.<\/p>\n And a small handful of obsessive critics appear to feel that my silence on the matter thus far represents one of the most scandalous things about it \u2014 which I think may well be true, but not in the sense they intend.\u00a0 Why, they wonder, haven\u2019t I commented on this issue?<\/p>\n Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?<\/span> Well, a major reason for my silence is that I know little about the matter and have no particular interest in learning much more.\u00a0 I have little or nothing to say.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad that there are accountants and tax attorneys out there.\u00a0 I\u2019m happy that they exist.\u00a0 But I\u2019ve never aspired to join their ranks.<\/p>\n My general attitude toward the issue is that it doesn\u2019t involve deliberate fraud but, rather, a disagreement about proper reporting of financial data.\u00a0 Not substantive but procedural.\u00a0 I don\u2019t claim to be an intimate friend of the Brethren, but I know many more of them than I ever expected to, and some of them I know much better than I ever thought I would.\u00a0 I\u2019ve also known a fair number of them who have now passed on.\u00a0 And my impression of them is that they are scrupulously honest and very, very careful to obey the law.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen many illustrations of their seriousness on this. at first hand.\u00a0 They want to do things by the book \u2014 by which I mean according to the relevant legal codes, as well as according to the scriptures \u2014 and there is absolutely no disposition on their part to profiteer personally from their service in the Church.<\/p>\n But state and federal and international tax codes and financial regulations are voluminous and very typically rather arcane.\u00a0 (I\u2019m told, for instance, that test calls have been placed to the U.S. Internal Revenue Service about questions of personal taxes, finding that very different and sometimes diametrically opposite counsel has been given in many such cases by representatives of the IRS itself.)\u00a0 So I\u2019m not at all surprised to hear that, while Ensign Peak Advisors, on behalf of the Church, sought the best financial and legal advice they could get and probably believed themselves to be in full compliance with the rules, one or more staffers at the Securities and Exchange Commission might have viewed things differently.<\/p>\n Some critics of the Church were positively salivating at the possibility that the SEC might impose a devastating fine on the Church, or even altogether strip the Church of its tax-exempt status.\u00a0 I even saw a few fantasies about the First Presidency going to federal prison.\u00a0 Such critics were deeply disappointed at the five million dollar fine that was eventually imposed by the SEC.\u00a0 It was \u201cchump change,\u201d said one.\u00a0 A mere \u201cslap on the wrist,\u201d they lamented.\u00a0 Five million dollars may be an enormous sum from the perspective of born peasants such as I \u2014 and I regret that that sum won\u2019t be going toward a temple or to humanitarian aid but, instead, into the voracious maw of the federal government of the United States \u2014 but it\u2019s pretty much part of the cost of doing business at the high level of finance that is involved in this case.\u00a0 Anyway, the fact that the penalty was comparatively small may, I think, support my hunch that there just really isn\u2019t very much to<\/em> this supposed scandal.<\/p>\n What would be really nice would be for someone who is accustomed to dealing with such rarified numbers to speak up and to explain what happened.\u00a0 I hope, actually, that the Church itself will have more to say at some point, because I think that there\u2019s more that can<\/em> be said on the Church\u2019s behalf and in its favor.\u00a0 For example, I was involved in a virtual meeting three or four days ago in which the topic of the settlement with the SEC briefly came up.\u00a0 One of the other participants in the meeting is a highly successful, remarkably bright, and very wealthy tech entrepreneur, a still relatively young Latter-day Saint who has launched at least three substantial companies and sold two of them for enormous sums.\u00a0 He dismissed this issue as \u201ca nothing burger,\u201d and said that the hysteria about it in some circles makes him despair at human stupidity.\u00a0 And maybe that\u2019s the right reaction.<\/p>\n But I\u2019m not the one to speak on the issue.\u00a0 I\u2019m no more a financier or an expert on finances than I am a gourmet cook \u2014 or, for that matter, a sea otter.<\/p>\n In the meantime, here are some calm statements on this little tempest:<\/p>\n \u201cChurch Issues Statement on SEC Settlement\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n Deseret News<\/em>:\u00a0 \u201cOpinion: The role of finance in a religious institution:\u00a0From any objective standpoint, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a most astonishing case study in economic sustainability\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n Public Square Magazine<\/em>:\u00a0 \u201cEnsign Peak: Clarifying the SEC Announcement: Get facts on the SEC fine against Ensign Peak Advisors, the investment firm of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in this Q&A with securities attorneys.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n Some critics, of course, are exercised about the fact that the Church even has<\/em> a rainy-day fund; the fact that it\u2019s well-managed simply makes them still more<\/em> indignant.\u00a0 The question that a friend asked in that very same virtual meeting the other day would leave them completely unmoved:\u00a0 \u201cWhy,\u201d he asked, \u201cdo such people think that it\u2019s immoral for the Church to invest its reserve funds in a mall, whereas it would be acceptable if only the Church were to earn a lower rate of return by putting its reserves in a bank that helps to build the very same mall.\u201d<\/p>\n Anyway, here\u2019s a 2018 Interpreter<\/em> article that deals with Church finances:<\/p>\n \u201cThrough a Glass Darkly: Examining Church Finances,\u201d<\/a> written by Larry T. Wimmer<\/a><\/p>\n Abstract: The Mormon Hierarchy: Wealth & Corporate Power\u00a0is Michael\u00a0Quinn\u2019s impressive response to a century of books and articles that have often distorted the finances of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This third volume in\u00a0<\/em>The Mormon Hierarchy\u00a0series covers Church history from 1830 to 2010, and represents a staggering commitment. For 46 years Quinn has diligently gathered data on Church income, expenditures, taxation, and \u201cliving allowances\u201d paid to Church leaders. The results are significant and engrossing, with but one possibly serious error. If you are interested in any aspect of the Church finances, the enormous effort required to bring us\u00a0<\/em>Wealth & Corporate Power\u00a0may well be the final word. In Quinn\u2019s own words, it tells an \u201cAmerican success story without parallel.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Review of D. Michael Quinn,\u00a0The Mormon Hierarchy: Wealth & Corporate Power\u00a0<\/em>(Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 2017), 597 pp., with appendices and index. $49.95.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I close, as I often do, with some examples of the toxic influence of theism and theists on our otherwise wonderful world.\u00a0 As usual, these specimens are drawn from the almost infinitely capacious Christopher Hitchens Memorial \u201cHow Religion Poisons Everything\u201d File<\/em>\u2122:<\/p>\n \u201cChurch\u2019s aid to Turkey, Syria totals more than $5 million: The Church is working with several organizations to send food, tents, medical supplies and clothing to earthquake victims\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n \u201cFamily Gardens, Rural Clinic Renovations and Nightly Efforts to Feed the Hungry: Service from Latter-day Saints Around the World:\u00a0Family garden kits curb malnutrition in Ecuador, Church members complete renovations to a rural health clinic in Fiji, and free meals are provided nightly to the underprivileged in Zurich\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n \u201cDie Kirche Jesu Christi der Heiligen der Letzten Tage spendet der \u00a0katholischen Hilfsorganisation \u201eIncontro\u201c in Z\u00fcrich Nahrungsmittel und Hygieneartikel im Wert von rund 4\u2018500 CHF.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n \u201cChurch Resources Help Build Self-Reliance Among Florida\u2019s Latino Community: Mexican consul in Orlando meets with representatives from the Church of Jesus Christ and Catholic Charities to discuss collaboration\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n \u201cPerspective: Faith is a factor in good mental health. Why are so many people unable to see this?\u00a0 We see what our culture primes us to see, even when it comes to the protective role of religion for LGBTQ youth\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n
\nA nation turns its lonely eyes to you.<\/span>
\nWoo, woo, woo.
\nWhat\u2019s that you say, Mrs. Robinson?
\nJoltin\u2019 Joe has left and gone away.<\/span>
\nHey, hey, hey.
\nHey, hey, hey.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n