{"id":50473,"date":"2020-08-18T13:23:58","date_gmt":"2020-08-18T17:23:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/?p=50473"},"modified":"2020-08-18T13:29:10","modified_gmt":"2020-08-18T17:29:10","slug":"women-have-no-sexual-desire-during-infertility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/2020\/08\/women-have-no-sexual-desire-during-infertility.html","title":{"rendered":"Women Have No Sexual Desire During Infertility?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

+ Natural Family Planning (NFP) and Sexual Desire<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

This was repeatedly claimed by a person I recently dialogued with (\u201cDialogue on NFP: Anti-Sex and Anti-Pleasure?\u201d<\/a>). He (pontificating at all of 20 years old) claimed:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s no more different from robotic sex, and it\u2019s quite artificial to do it. It\u2019s tragic because sex is supposed to be loving and bonding and sex during infertile periods really don\u2019t qualify as any of those two for most people. Who wants to have sex when your sex drive isn\u2019t that high on that day? That\u2019s rape. Women usually don\u2019t enjoy sex during infertile periods, and it doesn\u2019t matter how hard they try. Women just weren\u2019t designed that way.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I [partially] replied:<\/p>\n

There is much silliness in your whole analysis of the supposed gospel truth that \u201csex during infertility is never pleasurable.\u201d Try to run that line by pregnant women. They aren\u2019t fertile but they will affirm that they have plenty of sexual desire during those nine months.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Today I thought of another reply:<\/p>\n

Post-menopausal women, who are never fertile, also are known for having a considerable sexual drive, and we are told that women\u2019s drive increases as they get older (quite the opposite of men, who probably peak at 18). After menopause, all<\/em> that desire is during infertile times.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cSuburbanbanshee\u201d also made the following delightful comment under my blog post:<\/p>\n

If a woman of fertile years is not experiencing some level of sexual desire for her husband most of the time, including infertile days, she is having some kind of serious problem. She might be tired, have hormone imbalances, be angry or unhappy, or she might be taking meds with anti-libido side effects. But she is not going on all cylinders.<\/p>\n

We aren\u2019t guys, but we aren\u2019t nonhumans going into season, like mares, and pushing the stallion away the rest of the time. Women don\u2019t read romance novels at certain times of the month, and then read math treatises on infertile days\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

LOL I love it!<\/p>\n

My friend Carmen Billedeaux\u00a0commented:<\/p>\n

Sex is better for women during time leading up to ovulation. That is true. But that doesn\u2019t mean it is not pleasurable during other times. But I know lots of my friends who are strict NFP and don\u2019t enjoy sex or even pretend to be interested. I think they missed out and don\u2019t know better.
\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have been terrible at NFP and mostly open to life so I know what I\u2019m talking about so please don\u2019t get mad at me and attack me here if you are perfect NFP people who think it\u2019s perfect in NFP land for all couples. It\u2019s not perfect anywhere for all couples.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

NFP is a challenge and I\u2019m tired of people acting like it\u2019s all fine and easy. I know these couples\u2019 and my own experiences.\u00a0I\u2019m a faithful practicing Catholic in heavily catholic community of NFP\u2019rs and I am pro-NFP. I\u2019m also pro-marriage but I know that ain\u2019t easy either. We need to tell young people that none of it is easy but why it\u2019s all worth it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Thanks for your comment. Good points.<\/p>\n

I would never say NFP is easy, anymore than I would say that waiting till marriage (26 in my case) was easy. That was the most difficult thing I ever did in my life. But both are well<\/em> <\/strong>worth it and will produce lasting happiness. That is what I can say, and with personal experience to back it up.<\/p>\n

But I know lots of my friends who are strict NFP and don\u2019t enjoy sex or even pretend to be interested.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I highly doubt that NFP is the main culprit for that. There can be many causes for such unhappiness and lack of desire. They happen to be practicing Catholics, so they are doing NFP. NFP can produce a lot of frustration and even agony at times (believe me, I know), but it doesn\u2019t cause sexual unhappiness or unfulfillment. I submit that something else<\/em> has to do that, in almost all cases.<\/p>\n

If I can\u2019t have a great Thanksgiving dinner for some reason, it doesn\u2019t follow that the dinner itself becomes \u201cunfulfilling\u201d or that I lack a desire for the turkey and stuffing. It\u2019s two completely different things. Likewise, not enjoying sex at all or having no interest in it could hardly have been caused by having to cyclically abstain from it. At least that makes little sense to me.<\/p>\n

If these people, on the other hand, directly reported that \u201cI lost all interest in sex because of NFP\u201d, then it would be supported with some sort of direct evidence, and I would be interested to hear their reasoning. If someone said something like, \u201cI couldn\u2019t have sex every day, so I lost all interest,\u201d I\u2019d say that NFP wasn\u2019t to blame, but rather, an excessive drive that needed to be brought under control.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d love to have french fries, pizza, and a banana split every day, but I know that 1) that wouldn\u2019t be good for me, and 2) it would never realistically happen, anyway. It doesn\u2019t follow from that, that I stop being interested<\/em> in these foods.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

(originally 1-26-17 on Facebook)<\/p>\n

Photo credit:<\/strong><\/span>\u00a01475341<\/a>\u00a0(2-11-16)<\/span> [Pixabay<\/a> \/ Pixabay license<\/a>]<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

+ Natural Family Planning (NFP) and Sexual Desire This was repeatedly claimed by a person I recently dialogued with (\u201cDialogue on NFP: Anti-Sex and Anti-Pleasure?\u201d). He (pontificating at all of 20 years old) claimed: It\u2019s no more different from robotic sex, and it\u2019s quite artificial to do it. It\u2019s tragic because sex is supposed to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2331,"featured_media":50475,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,123],"tags":[1382,1695,1753,1383,3157,2037,2089,575,3153,3608,11727,10293,11718,276,2015,2014,10290,1692,2544,581,11724,582,11721],"class_list":["post-50473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-issues","category-sexuality-and-gender-issues","tag-bible-sex","tag-biblical-sexuality","tag-catholic-sexuality","tag-catholicism-sex","tag-childbearing","tag-christian-sexuality","tag-conception","tag-contraception","tag-contralife-will","tag-erotic-love","tag-female-sex-drive","tag-god-sex","tag-infertile-periods","tag-marriage","tag-natural-family-planning","tag-nfp","tag-paul-sex","tag-procreation","tag-sacrament-of-matrimony","tag-sex","tag-sexual-desire-during-infertility","tag-sexuality","tag-sexuial-desire"],"yoast_head":"\nWomen Have No Sexual Desire During Infertility? 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Dave has been interviewed on many nationally syndicated Catholic radio shows, including \"Catholic Answers Live\" (twice), \"Faith and Family Live\" (Steve Wood), \"Kresta in the Afternoon,\" \"Son Rise Morning Show,\" \"Catholic Connection\" (Teresa Tomeo), and \"The Catholics Next Door.\" His large and popular website, \"Biblical Evidence for Catholicism,\" was online from March 1997 to March 2007, and received the 1998 Catholic Website of the Year award from \"Envoy Magazine.\" His blog of the same name (now transferred to Patheos), begun in February 2004, contains more than 1,500 papers, at least 500 debates or dialogues, and over 50 distinct \"index\" web pages. Unsolicited correspondence has indicated many hundreds of conversions (or returns) to the Catholic faith as a result, by God's grace, of these writings. Dave's conversion story was published in the bestselling book \"Surprised by Truth\" (edited by Patrick Madrid; San Diego: Basilica Press, 1994). Sophia Institute Press has published six of his books: \"A Biblical Defense of Catholicism\" (Foreword by Fr. John A. Hardon, S. J., 1996 \/ 2003), \"The Catholic Verses\" (2004), \"The One-Minute Apologist\" (2007), \"Bible Proofs for Catholic Truths\" (2009), \"The Quotable Newman\" (editor: 2012), and \"Proving the Catholic Faith is Biblical\" (2015). He is co-author (with Dr. Paul Thigpen) of the inserts for \"The New Catholic Answer Bible\" (Our Sunday Visitor: 2005), and editor for \"The Wisdom of Mr. Chesterton: The Very Best Quotes, Quips, and Cracks from the Pen of G. K. Chesterton\" (Saint Benedict Press \/ TAN Books: 2009). \"100 Biblical Arguments Against Sola Scriptura\" was published by Catholic Answers in May 2012. His \"Quotable Wesley\" compilation was published by (Protestant \/ Wesleyan publisher) Beacon Hill Press in April 2014. Several of his 49 books are bestsellers in their field. Dave maintains a popular personal Facebook page, a Facebook author page, and has a Twitter account as well. He offers almost all of his books in e-book form on his own Biblical Catholicism site (http:\/\/biblicalcatholicism.com\/), at a permanent deep discount: only $2.99 for ePub, mobi, and AZW, and $1.99 for PDF. His writing has been enthusiastically endorsed or recommended by many leading Catholic apologists, authors, and priests, including Dr. Scott Hahn, Fr. Peter M. J. Stravinskas, Marcus Grodi, Patrick Madrid, Steve Ray, Tim Staples, Devin Rose, Mike Aquilina, Al Kresta, Karl Keating, Fr. Dwight Longenecker, Brandon Vogt, Marcellino D'Ambrosio, and Fr. John A. Hardon, S. J. Dave has been happily married to his wife Judy since October 1984. They have three sons and a daughter, and reside in southeast Michigan (metro Detroit).","sameAs":["https:\/\/biblicalcatholicism.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/dave.armstrong.798","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@LuxVeritatisApologetics"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/author\/davearmstrong"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50473","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2331"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50473"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50473\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/50475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davearmstrong\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}