{"id":1987,"date":"2015-02-06T21:59:54","date_gmt":"2015-02-07T02:59:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/davewillis\/?p=1987"},"modified":"2015-02-06T21:59:54","modified_gmt":"2015-02-07T02:59:54","slug":"7-realities-about-life-with-a-newborn-baby","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davewillis\/7-realities-about-life-with-a-newborn-baby\/","title":{"rendered":"7 realities about life with a newborn baby"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

A few days ago,\u00a0my AMAZING wife Ashley<\/a>\u00a0gave birth to our fourth son! Yes, you read that correctly\u2026FOUR boys. Please pray for my sweet wife. She is severely\u00a0outnumbered. Testosterone is practically dripping from the ceilings at our house.<\/p>\n

For her take on this, read her hilarious and true blog about\u00a0Ten things NOT to say to moms of boys.<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

As I write this, I\u2019m so tired I can barely hold my eyes open, so I apologize in advance for any typos or weirdness. I\u2019m practically hallucinating because of the exhaustion, but our new little dude is well worth the lack of sleep!<\/p>\n

As I\u2019ve been reflecting on the whole experience, I thought I would compile a list of some important things that you really need to know before the arrival of a newborn. Whether you\u2019re preparing for your first baby, or you\u2019re an old pro, these reminders can give you perspective, and hopefully make you smile too.<\/p>\n

Life with a newborn means\u2026<\/p>\n

1. You\u2019re not going to be having sex anytime soon.<\/strong><\/p>\n

What\u2019s the one things worse than exhaustion? Sexual frustration! Brace yourself for both. It\u00a0typically takes at least 4-6 weeks for a woman to heal after childbirth which is nature\u2019s way of tricking you into having more kids, because once you able to do it, you\u2019re way to excited to remember things like birth control.<\/p>\n

2. Your house is going to smell like spit up (which is disgusting).<\/strong><\/p>\n

How can something so small and cute create the most putrid smells imaginable? I\u2019m not sure, but it happens. As I write this, I\u2019m doing my best to breathe exclusively out of my mouth.<\/p>\n

3. You\u2019re probably going to have some grumpy moments.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m normally a pretty friendly, laid back guy, but the combination of the factors I\u2019ve already listed creates a monster my wife refers to as \u201cBMD\u201d (Bad Mood Dave). We tend to make poor choices when we\u2019re exhausted and grumpy, so don\u2019t let anyone talk you into a timeshare presentation or network marketing \u201cground floor\u201d opportunity for awhile!<\/p>\n

4. You\u2019re going to look like a Zombie.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Google some images and clips from \u201cThe Walking Dead.\u201d That\u2019s what you\u2019re going to look like for awhile. Be thankful Zombies are trending right now. At least it is currently cool to shuffle around in a state of half life. You might even get hired as an actor for the show.<\/p>\n

5. You\u2019re going to spend a crazy amount of money.<\/strong><\/p>\n

How can something that weights less than eight pounds cost thousands of dollars? I\u2019m not sure, but at least you get a new tax deduction out of the deal!<\/p>\n

6. It\u2019s going to take forever to get ready to go anywhere.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Walmart is approximately 3 miles from our house. If I started right now trying to get the baby ready and loaded in the car, I wouldn\u2019t be at Walmart until sometime next week.<\/p>\n

7. You\u2019re going to have your heart stolen!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Once you make eye contact with that precious little bundle of joy, all of these little inconveniences are going to seem completely insignificant! Enjoy every minute of parenthood. It\u2019s going to fly by way too fast!<\/p>\n

\"Dave<\/a><\/p>\n

Daddy and baby Chatham.<\/em><\/p>\n

For ongoing marriage and family tips and tools, you can\u00a0connect with me on twitter<\/a>\u00a0and subscribe to my email list.<\/p>\n

If this post made you smile, please share it on social media using the links below, so we can make some other people smile too!<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few days ago,\u00a0my AMAZING wife Ashley\u00a0gave birth to our fourth son! Yes, you read that correctly\u2026FOUR boys. Please pray for my sweet wife. She is severely\u00a0outnumbered. Testosterone is practically dripping from the ceilings at our house. For her take on this, read her hilarious and true blog about\u00a0Ten things NOT to say to moms […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2136,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fbia_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[17,34,241,240,239,234,238,205,236,242,235,237],"class_list":["post-1987","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-and-parenthood","tag-ashley-willis","tag-dave-willis","tag-how-much-does-a-baby-cost","tag-how-soon-can-you-have-sex-after-childbirth","tag-how-to-change-a-diaper","tag-how-to-prepare-for-a-baby","tag-how-to-prepare-for-parenthood","tag-parenting-advice","tag-parenting-advice-for-new-parents","tag-parenting-humor","tag-what-is-life-like-with-a-baby","tag-what-to-expect-when-youre-expecting"],"yoast_head":"\n7 realities about life with a newborn baby<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A few days ago,\u00a0my AMAZING wife Ashley\u00a0gave birth to our fourth son! 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