{"id":2804,"date":"2015-12-10T16:10:02","date_gmt":"2015-12-10T21:10:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/davewillis\/?p=2804"},"modified":"2017-03-07T15:14:10","modified_gmt":"2017-03-07T20:14:10","slug":"5-bad-habits-that-can-lead-to-infidelity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davewillis\/5-bad-habits-that-can-lead-to-infidelity\/","title":{"rendered":"5 bad habits that can lead to infidelity"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"sad<\/p>\n

I recently sat down with a young husband in my office and he began to tell me a story about how he had been caught by his wife after he\u2019d had some very inappropriate and sexually explicit text message exchanges with a woman at his workplace. His wife had sensed something was going on, because he has been subconsciously pulling away from his wife emotionally and physically as he was giving more and more thought to this other woman. (For more on this, check out my post on\u00a07 signs you\u2019re having an \u201cemotional affair\u201d<\/strong> <\/em>by clicking here.<\/a>)<\/p>\n

In this particular instance, no physical\/sexual lines were crossed before the emotional affair came to light, but even still, great damage had already been done to the marriage. Like so many couples, they have found themselves in a place they never expected to be and now they\u2019re starting the process of rebuilding trust and trying to restore their relationship.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

My conversation with him got me thinking about the mistakes people commonly make which can often lead to adultery. Below I\u2019m going to list out five warning signs I\u2019ve seen often. These aren\u2019t specifically related to an inappropriate relationship with someone that could lead to adultery, BUT these actions seem to create a mindset in your marriage where adultery is much more likely to happen.<\/p>\n

In addition to avoiding these 5 warning signs below, for daily encouragement for your marriage, a library of marriage ebooks and some stellar communication tools to keep you and your spouse connected\u00a0download our new Marriage App from iTunes by clicking here.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"marriage<\/a><\/p>\n

Five bad habits that can lead to infidelity (in no particular order):<\/p>\n

1. Criticizing\u00a0your spouse in public, in private or online.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Criticism, nagging, or constantly \u201ccorrecting\u201d your spouse can make both you and your spouse more vulnerable to an affair. When you look at your spouse with a critical eye, you\u2019re more likely to have your eyes open to someone else and your spouse is more likely to be drawn in by someone who will compliment them instead of criticizing. If there\u2019s a climate of criticism in your marriage, take immediate action to change it.<\/p>\n

2. Lack of physical affection.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you and your spouse aren\u2019t hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc., that\u2019s a big warning sign. Frequent sexual intimacy is obviously important as well, but these smaller acts of everyday physical touch are so important to the physical and emotional connectedness that keep a husband and wife bonded. If your marriage is lacking in this area, start initiating physical contact. If your spouse doesn\u2019t receive your advances with warmth, start conversations about the reasons why there\u2019s a disconnect.<\/p>\n

For tips and tools to help you build a stronger marriage and family,\u00a0download a FREE chapter from my new book \u201cThe 7 Laws of Love\u201d<\/em> by clicking here.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"7<\/a><\/p>\n

3. Surrounding yourself with friends who don\u2019t know (or don\u2019t like) your spouse.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m convinced that one of the biggest factors that lead people into affairs is the friends they choose to hang around. This might sound surprising to you, but I\u2019ve seen it play out over and over. In most (not all) cases of adultery, the spouse who had the affair had also been spending time with friends or co-workers who don\u2019t encourage marital faithfulness. Surround yourself with friends who strengthen your character and remove yourself from those who attempt to compromise your character.<\/p>\n

\"Seven<\/a><\/p>\n

4.\u00a0Believing your way is always the right way or the only way.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you start disrespecting your spouse by belittling his\/her viewpoints, you\u2019re opening the door for infidelity. Show mutual respect at all times. Respect and thoughtfulness aren\u2019t just good tools for preventing adultery; they vital to health in every part of your marriage.<\/p>\n

\"Dave<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

5. Keeping secrets from your spouse.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy. The moment you start deleting text messages, hiding things or doing anything you hope your spouse doesn\u2019t find out about, you\u2019re already way out of line! If you want your marriage to thrive and be protected from adultery, make the \u201cSecret-Free Guarantee.\u201d Never keep secrets and never tell lies to your spouse. Full and transparent honesty is the only way a marriage can work.<\/p>\n

For more tools to help you build a rock-solid relationship, check out our\u00a0video series on sex and intimacy in marriage by clicking here.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

If this post helped you, please share it using the links below so we can help others too!<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently sat down with a young husband in my office and he began to tell me a story about how he had been caught by his wife after he\u2019d had some very inappropriate and sexually explicit text message exchanges with a woman at his workplace. 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