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{"id":663,"date":"2013-09-30T15:19:36","date_gmt":"2013-09-30T19:19:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davewillis\/?p=663"},"modified":"2013-09-30T15:19:36","modified_gmt":"2013-09-30T19:19:36","slug":"5-rules-for-every-disagreement-in-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davewillis\/5-rules-for-every-disagreement-in-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Rules for every disagreement in your marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

A secret of healthy and happy couples seems to be found in working through disagreements in a productive way.\u00a0I\u2019m convinced that if you will follow a few simple guidelines, the tone of your arguments and consequently the tone of your entire marriage can be transformed in a healthy way.<\/p>\n

$\"Couple-after-argument2\"$ <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Each couple is different, but I believe these basic principles will hold true in the vast majority of marriages. Start applying these right away and your relationship will experience some instant improvements.<\/p>\n

1. Realize that you\u2019ll both win or you\u2019ll both lose.<\/strong><\/p>\n

As husband and wife, you\u2019re partners in everything, so nobody \u201cwins\u201d an argument. Realize that you\u2019ll either win together or lose together, so work together to find a solution. For more on this, check out my 3-minute video on\u00a0How to \u201cWin\u201d an argument with your spouse<\/a><\/p>\n

2. Focus on the present situation, not on past mistakes.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When we\u2019re flustered in the heat of a disagreement, it\u2019s a natural instinct to want to start throwing mud and unloading ammunition from our spouse\u2019s past mistakes to help us make our point, but fight the urge to do it. If you\u2019re always bringing up mistakes from the past, you\u2019ll never be able to work together to build a good future.<\/p>\n

3. Listen more and talk less.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This one is tough, because it requires swallowing your pride. Focus on trying to understand your spouse\u2019s perspective instead of trying to force your own point. There\u2019s a beautiful verse in the Bible that sums up this principle by saying\u2026\u201dYou must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry<\/em>.\u201d (James 1:19) That\u2019s easier said than done, but it\u2019s worth the effort!<\/p>\n

4. Resolve it quickly.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t \u201csleep on it.\u201d Stay up all night if you have to, but don\u2019t go to bed until there\u2019s some kind of resolution. If you ignore the issues, they\u2019ll keep growing like a cancerous tumor. Deal with every disagreement lovingly but also quickly.<\/p>\n

5. Remember that your love for each other is always more important than your differences.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t forget who you\u2019re talking too! This is your best friend, your partner and the love of your life. Disagreements aren\u2019t an excuse to give up on each other, but just another opportunity for you to work together and grow stronger in your love and respect for each other!<\/p>\n

For more tips and tools on building a stronger marriage, please check out our new book<\/strong><\/em>:\u00a0\u201cMarriage Minute: Quick & Simple Ways to Build a Divorce-Proof Relationship\u201d<\/a>\u00a0and also visit our new website<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0MarriageGateway.com.<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"