{"id":2671,"date":"2016-06-14T05:47:55","date_gmt":"2016-06-14T11:47:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/davidrupert\/?p=2671"},"modified":"2016-06-14T08:42:33","modified_gmt":"2016-06-14T14:42:33","slug":"the-fear-of-being-offended","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davidrupert\/the-fear-of-being-offended\/","title":{"rendered":"The fear of being offended \u2013 Where did our spine go?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u201cI can\u2019t believe you said that!\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

She looked at me like I had committed the worst of atrocities.<\/p>\n

I used the word, \u201cGal\u201d when referring to a female who had just waited on me. It\u2019s an old term. Probably a hold-over from my mother, who used it constantly, an easy, generic name for every woman she didn\u2019t know the name.<\/p>\n

But now those darting eyes from this gal \u2013 I mean woman \u2014 \u00a0told me her opinion of this term. Suddenly, that word felt like a heavy weight hung around my neck, \u00a0a sign for the world to see.<\/p>\n

Sexist. <\/em><\/p>\n

I retracted my words, suddenly feeling guilty for-I-don\u2019t-know-what. \u00a0This isn\u2019t the first time for me as my words haven\u2019t always found a welcome home to the hearer. And I\u2019m not alone, as we are all<\/em> trying to sanitize our speech.<\/p>\n

The labels our speech earn are serious:<\/p>\n

Racist. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Bigot. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cFill-in-the-blank\u201d phobe. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

As a society, we are now looking for offense around every corner. Leaders are being forced to resign. Commenters are castigated. Speakers are being silenced.<\/p>\n

The forced apologies, resignations and sackings for the most trivial of reasons are rampant. We are learning to live in a very narrow world, in which every action and word is scrutinized.<\/p>\n

Those who once championed free-speech on every corner are the same ones who are killing it in the public square And it won\u2019t be long before the \u201coffended\u201d will soon find themselves as the \u201coffenders.\u201d It\u2019s the full circle of speech.<\/p>\n

An addiction to victimhood<\/h2>\n

Claire Fox wrote a book called, I Find That Offensive<\/a><\/em>\u00a0, and labels thin-skinned people as \u201cGeneration Snowflake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere is a strand of self-absorption and fragility running through this generation; all too ready to cry \u2018victim\u2019 at the first hint of a situation they don\u2019t like,\u201d Fox says.\u00a0\u201cWe need a younger generation that\u2019s prepared to grow a backbone, go out into the world, take risks and make difficult decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n

Colleges and Universities are breeding grounds for intolerance in the name of tolerance. And microassessions \u2013 those seemingly innocent acts \u2013 now pile up in the bank of offense, never to be withdrawn until it\u2019s time to make someone pay.<\/p>\n

The latest insult? Using a pronoun like \u201cHer\u201d or \u201cHis\u201d, \u201cSir\u201d or \u201cMaam.\u201d.Matt Walsh says Americans \u201cget offended faster and more efficiently than anyone<\/strong> ..It\u2019s\u00a0is our calling card, our national pastime. It is the battle we fight and the banner we wave.\u201d<\/p>\n

Every week you hear about a new outrage. Someone said something terribly offensive. I read about a man who was castigated by a woman for opening a door. \u201cYou are insinuating that I am too weak to open a door on my own,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

No need to be a bully<\/h2>\n

There is no need to be a bully, to go out of our way to offend. So I\u2019m not talking about the name-callers and purposefully rude people. For those of us who are driven by faith, we are given clear Biblical instruction.<\/p>\n

\u201c<\/em>Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.\u201d \u2013 Eph 4.29<\/em><\/p>\n

We need to respect people, treating them as God sees them. Racism, classism and a host of other actions are simply wrong. So I\u2019m not advocating that.<\/p>\n

But the Word also tells us that we cannot be easily offended.<\/p>\n

\u201cKnow this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;\u201d \u2013 James 1.19<\/em><\/p>\n

There are those who are careless, blunt and mean-spirited. We can\u2019t control what they say, but we can control how we react.<\/p>\n

\"Photo\/Graphics<\/a>
Photo\/Graphics by David Rupert. Dog by TimWith2Arms<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Absolute Truths About Offensive Speech<\/strong><\/p>\n

Matt Walsh offers these truths\u201d<\/p>\n

1) If it wasn\u2019t intended to offend you, then you shouldn\u2019t be offended.<\/em><\/p>\n

2) You do not get to decide someone else\u2019s intentions. They do.<\/em><\/p>\n

3) Being offended is a choice you make. Nobody is responsible for that choice but you.<\/em><\/p>\n

4) Even if the slight was intended and deliberate, functioning adults understand that they must move on and not dwell over every sideways glance or rude comment.<\/em><\/p>\n

We need to get the chips off our shoulder, learn to shrug things off and find a way to laugh. And if I say something that rankles you, give me a little grace.<\/p>\n

Oh, and mom called men \u201cBuster.\u201d That\u2019s okay, right?<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI can\u2019t believe you said that!\u201d She looked at me like I had committed the worst of atrocities. I used the word, \u201cGal\u201d when referring to a female who had just waited on me. It\u2019s an old term. Probably a hold-over from my mother, who used it constantly, an easy, generic name for every woman […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2375,"featured_media":2675,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1559,1563,1562,1558,1515,1561,1560,1557],"class_list":["post-2671","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-chip-on-shoulder","tag-offend","tag-offended","tag-offensive","tag-political-correctness","tag-slight","tag-slighted","tag-speech"],"yoast_head":"\nThe fear of being offended \u2013 Where did our spine go?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cI can\u2019t believe you said that!\u201d She looked at me like I had committed the worst of atrocities. 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