{"id":858,"date":"2013-05-30T05:00:07","date_gmt":"2013-05-30T11:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davidrupert\/?p=858"},"modified":"2013-05-30T05:00:07","modified_gmt":"2013-05-30T11:00:07","slug":"growing-up-is-hard-on-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/davidrupert\/growing-up-is-hard-on-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"Growing up is easy for them, hard on us – A Parent’s Reflection"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

He drew a smiley face underneath the day circled in red on the family calendar. I wasn\u2019t nearly as giddy, and all I could really manage was a weak smile and an acknowledgement of the inevitable.<\/p>\n

While he was counting down the days until he left home, I still felt a sad certainty of resignation. For 18 solid years, we had prepared for this moment. When a bird nudge\u00a0was now well on his way to becoming a man-boy. Growing up is exciting for our kids, but oh so difficult for parents.<\/p>\n

I put off going into his room for a few days. When I finally walked in, it seemed like it was void of oxygen. Then I looked around and laughed. There was a cereal bowl in the corner of the room. A single sock hung over the chair like a flag of surrender. A tattered Michael Jordan poster hung on the wall. And there was my missing Phillips Screwdriver.<\/p>\n

He had boxed his valued treasures that would follow him after his military training was complete in a year. The rest of the stuff he didn\u2019t care about and told us \u201cjust get rid of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t resist looking through the box of possessions he left behind. I pulled out his stuffed bear, Fred. We got him to make the tonsillectomy seem a little less daunting. He had marched into the hospital, chin high, face resolute. \u201cNo big deal.<\/em>\u201d But he clung to that bear afterwards.<\/p>\n

And then there were loads of books, such as the dozens of volumes of the\u00a0Star Wars<\/em>\u00a0series. Those galactic tales had<\/p>\n

\"Growing
Image by Patricia Hunter. Used with permission.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

fueled his young mind and actually helped propel his ambitions. Now, he was off to serve his nation to control the rotating orbs just beyond the earth\u2019s atmosphere. Fiction is now reality.<\/p>\n

He left behind his\u00a0Children\u2019s Picture Bible,<\/em>\u00a0and I remembered those days when he would climb on my lap, turning the pages faster than I could mouth them. I read; he listened and would eventually fall asleep. When he got old enough, he read, and I was the one who fell asleep.I remember him sticking his arms out like wings while aloft on my shoulders, making sputtering sounds like a 1920 pilot. He was five then. That seemed forever ago. Who knew he would be a new recruit of the Air National Guard?<\/p>\n

Turning tables<\/strong><\/h4>\n

I never made much money, and I never really cared if my boys do either. I just want them to live lives of integrity and truth and for them to follow the God of Abraham<\/a>, Isaac, and down the line right to the Ruperts\u2014Adam, Gordon, and David. The sins of the fathers\u2014and mine\u2014are painfully obvious. But the grace of God is stronger yet. That\u2019s legacy.<\/p>\n

For a while I wanted my faith to be their faith. But it\u2019s a much better place for them to\u00a0wrestle with God, to have their own limp and scars as proof<\/a>. So, I pray and love.<\/p>\n

I wonder if this is how my parents felt.\u00a0A lifetime of transitions<\/em>. As a baby, I needed my parents for everything. Then I toddled off into foolish independence, learning the meaning of \u201cno\u201d and \u201cdon\u2019t put that in your mouth.\u201d Each year I grew a little more autonomous, awkwardly finding myself on my own.<\/p>\n

And there were those foolish years when nothing my parents said was right, or sensible, or intelligent. Funny how years later I took a turn at being the dumb parent. It\u2019s amazing how the tables turned and how they are turning.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s been gone from home a decade now. When he called yesterday, his number lit up my phone and my day was instantly better. We talk about work and his new camper-trailer and his dog. I give some advice about life that sounds vaguely familiar. All the things my parents told me, I now parrot as if it\u2019s some kind of new wisdom.<\/p>\n

Full circle<\/em>.<\/p>\n

How have you dealt with kids leaving home?<\/strong><\/p>\n

(Thanks to The High Calling for running this piece. Photo credit . You can join the conversation here<\/a>)<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"Enhanced<\/a><\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Transitions are hard. We spend years preparing our children to leave — and then hold on when they actually do. And as parents we go from being intelligent, to dumb, to wise. Growing up is hard on kids, but growing up is harder on parents.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2375,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nGrowing up is easy for them, hard on us - A Parent's Reflection<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Growing up is exciting for our kids, but oh so difficult for parents. 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