Atlas Shrugged: Loose Lips Sink Ships<\/a>.<\/i><\/p>\nEddie Willers:<\/b> That man you were talking to on the television the other night, it was Mr. Galt wasn\u2019t it!
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Mr. Willers, I didn\u2019t actually trick you into coming here to answer your questions, I actually just had some free time and finally wanted to get around to that explanation of how you escaped my death trap.
\nEddie Willers:<\/b> But sir! I believe that man works for Taggart Transcontinental!
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Worked, actually. He\u2019s under my employ right now. Actually hold on\u2026 that\u2019s him over there on the way to the barracks, Trooper number 342.
\nEddie Willers:<\/b> What but\u2026 why would you\u2026
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Well you know I\u2019m just as surprised as you are. I assumed he wouldn\u2019t show back up for work but he\u2019s still punching in for his shifts. Not to worry, I\u2019ve been giving him just the worst assignments. Latrines don\u2019t clean themselves after all. Does make it easy to keep track of him thanks to the smell though. Shame we can\u2019t afford proper cleaning supplies, or enough labor to put anyone else on his work detail. Also I\u2019ve been poisoning his rations. I kind of realized a little late there that I couldn\u2019t make that one sound quite so sarcastic, but I wanted to mention it all the same as it is hilarious.
\nEddie Willers:<\/b> Why would he though? Didn\u2019t he just jump on the TV to try and announce his plans to destroy the world?
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Look it\u2019s some kind of\u2026 thing he\u2019s got going on with Dagny. Honestly I\u2019m not trying to get in their head space on that one, I value my sanity a bit too much. But as they say, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer so that you can make them scrub toilets with their bare hands.
\nEddie Willers:<\/b> Well\u2026 I suppose it\u2019s the right thing to do, I was so surprised to see you were actually the savior of the world Mr. Commander sir! I mean with the torture and the really constant claims of villainy and the often trying to murder me I would have just thought\u2026
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> No definitely on the side of the angels on this one Mr. Willers, your leader Thompson has already reached out to me pledging the full support of the country to Cobra. But you do bring up a good point. I\u2019ve been treating you all wrong.
\nEddie Willers:<\/b> You mean constantly trying to have me executed sir?
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Well, no. I mean that you\u2019re right that I should be constantly trying to have you killed. Rather forgot the constantly part myself for a bit there. I mean why have you tell me how you escaped the death trap when I can just put you in another one and see if you make it out?
\nEddie Willers:<\/b> N-no that\u2019s\u2026 that\u2019s okay sir! I\u2026 I mostly was just wondering if you\u2019d seen Ms. Taggart but since you seem busy\u2026
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Trooper 342! Over here at once! Look Mr. Willers, I\u2019m a nice guy so I\u2019ll actually let you catch up with Dagny for oh\u2026 however long it takes my men to construct another elaborate death trap to mark the occasion. Usually two, maybe three days?
\nJohn Galt:<\/b> Well Commander, if you put me to the manual labor, considering my amazing capabilities, I\u2019ll have your new trap assembled within the day.
\nEddie Willers:<\/b> J-John! We\u2026 we were friends! We had lunch together all the time! And I want to help you and Dagny! Together we can free all of you!
\nJohn Galt:<\/b> Now Eddie, chin up. I\u2019m on the clock at the moment and I would never betray my principals by not performing a job to 100 percent, and furthermore\u2026
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> *Ahem* I don\u2019t pay you to stand around expositing Trooper.
\nJohn Galt:<\/b> Apologies Commander! I was just going to inform Mr. Willers here that Dagny and I would never, ever have agreed to save his life or bring him with us, even if not in the situation we\u2019re in now.
\nEddie Willers:<\/b> *Cries*
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Look, now see you\u2019ve gone and broken his spirit. It\u2019s going to be so much harder to enjoy having him tossed in a death trap now.
\nJohn Galt:<\/b> Well I did have some thoughts on how to make the spinning robotic snake pit even more deadly by incorporating some ray lasers of my own personal design, Commander.
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> I suppose that shall have to suffice. Mr. Willers\u2026 Eddie. I\u2019m sorry. John here and his little band of merry idiotic geniuses I need to keep around to make sure the world has an enemy to root against so they\u2019ll rally behind me. But you\u2019re a thorn of a different shade. I\u2019ve been at this game long enough to know the type. You\u2019re the spanner in the works. You\u2019re the perfect kind of man that if I didn\u2019t pay attention to would prove to be the real threat to me in the end. The plucky dedicated guy who happens to have just the right information to bring me down by engineering some public confession or leaking some damning evidence of me.
\nEddie Willers:<\/b> But\u2026 but\u2026
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> You can consider it an honor Eddie. You are hands down the closest thing to a hero this story has. Which is why I\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t let you live to see the end of it.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: Loose Lips Sink Ships. Eddie Willers: That man you were talking to on the television the other night, it was Mr. Galt wasn\u2019t it! Cobra Commander: Mr. Willers, I didn\u2019t actually trick you into coming here to answer your questions, I actually just had some free time and finally wanted […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1308,"featured_media":0,"parent":9712,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-12730","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\n
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