The sinister Cobra Commander<\/a> inserts himself into the plot of Atlas Shrugged<\/i>, accompanying the characters and trying to comprehend the difference between Rand\u2019s heroes and villains, and discovers for himself that even evil has standards<\/a>.<\/p>\n Written by Daylight Atheism commenter and jet-setting billionaire playboy author Sneezeguard<\/b>.<\/p>\n Part II, Chapter VI, Part 1<\/a> Part II, Chapter VI, Part 2<\/a> Part II, Chapter VII, Part 1<\/a> Part II, Chapter VII, Part 2<\/a> Part II, Chapter VII, Part 3<\/a> Part II, Chapter VII, Part 4<\/a> Part II, Chapter VIII, Part 1<\/a> Part II, Chapter IX, Part 1<\/a> Part II, Chapter IX, Part 2<\/a> Part II, Chapter IX, Part 3<\/a> Part II, Chapter IX, Part 4<\/a> Part II, Chapter X, Part 1<\/a> Part II, Chapter X, Part 2<\/a> Part II, Chapter X, Part 3<\/a> Part II, Chapter X, Part 4<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 1<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 2<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 3<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 4<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 5<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 6<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 7<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 8<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 9<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 10<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 11<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 12<\/a> Part III, Chapter I, Part 13<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 1<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 2<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 3<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 4<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 5<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 6<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 7<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 8<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 9<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 10<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 11<\/a> Part III, Chapter II, Part 12<\/a> Part III, Chapter III, Part 1<\/a> Part III, Chapter III, Part 2<\/a> Part III, Chapter III, Part 3<\/a> Part III, Chapter IV, Part 1<\/a> Part III, Chapter IV, Part 2<\/a> Part III, Chapter V, Part 1<\/a> Part III, Chapter V, Part 2<\/a> Part III, Chapter V, Part 3<\/a> Part III, Chapter V, Part 4<\/a> Part III, Chapter V, Part 5<\/a> Part III, Chapter VI, Part 1<\/a> Part III, Chapter VI, Part 2<\/a> Part III, Chapter VI, Part 1<\/a> Part III, Chapter VI, Part 2<\/a>
\n\u201cHow did you guys conquer the world if the guys you\u2019re up against are all smarter than you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cThe common man is perfectly fine with losing all of his freedom and free will, but if he finds out an industry leader lost a patent he will fight us to the death!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cAlso maybe I did sink some private ships but from this point on in the story we\u2019re pretending it\u2019s never happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIt\u2019s gold, people would always trade for it at exactly the exchange rate it is being traded for right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cNo, it\u2019s the future! Where trains rule the world!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI\u2019d like to point out only villains traditionally take pleasure in anyone\u2019s deaths.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cThat does seem like an incredibly pointless and stupid kind of evil.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cAnd she\u2019ll never give up her job. I know that for a fact. Because she already gave it up once.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI\u2019ve vast implied off screen abilities.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI need to go kick a puppy or something.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIt\u2019s kind of embarrassing that I respect her desires and wishes like a person.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cThat kind of stuff is just out of focus right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIt\u2019s when selfishness is turned to the evil of helping one another that it causes the collapse of everyone, as opposed to a healthy selfishness that causes the collapse of everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI went off to find myself for purely selfish reasons so it\u2019s fine. They left to find themselves for purely selfish reasons so it\u2019s atrocious.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIt\u2019s not stolen. I bribed someone and then took it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI just constantly have the feel of pure hatred on me, which is apparently attractive.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cWhy do I feel like I\u2019m arguing with a small child and not the supposed smartest man in the world?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI\u2019ll stop you by doing what I do best. Nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI forgot that despite being captains of industry you all are remarkably stupid when it comes to the basics of modern capitalism.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIt\u2019s one of the few things about your crazy little community that actually rings true.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cRegular farmers must be just terrible people. It\u2019s the only logical explanation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cOh she\u2019s some crazy person who thinks she\u2019s written this whole world we live in, we let her live here kind of as a joke.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cYou realize you\u2019re not on an alien planet, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI\u2019m really looking forward to being demoted from owner of my own company to menial laborer!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIt\u2019s not like I want them to die. I just literally couldn\u2019t be bothered to care.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cSimply by existing we are the best, and we can prove it by not having to prove it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI find trying highly overrated. It\u2019s something poor people do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cOh please, you think life is so kind as to always feed you the information?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cWhile I could be learning about Ray Shield technology, you\u2019d rather me sit here learning about how you go about making toast.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cAt some point she was some kind of active presence who actually went out and did things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIt is a cruel, cruel world where someone like myself would only be amazingly wealthy, have numerous gorgeous lovers, be able to strike out in a career that offers me personal fulfillment, and be allowed to do mostly whatever I want.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cWell, you\u2019ve broken our rules which I never told you or anyone else about and just made up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI immediately accepted his terms even without fully understanding the economic structure of the valley.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cSee, I have emotions! I am experiencing emotions right now!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIt\u2019s certainly not a dictatorship! We do everything John Galt says.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cYou would think that a completely merit based society only accepting the best and brightest of humanity would probably end up with a healthy mix of people but shockingly it\u2019s mostly white men.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cDid I mention I was beautiful? I really don\u2019t feel like I say it enough sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cYou\u2019re both small and have tiny arms, there\u2019s plenty of industrial operations I\u2019m sure you\u2019d be a good fit for.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cObviously our system only makes sense when viewed already in operation, and even then not all that much.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI have to return to the great world beyond. For there is a giant corporation out there that I cannot bear to abandon in its time of need.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cThis machine is evil! It was designed without the slightest bit of corporate influence!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cFinally I\u2019m back at the office, back where I belong, looking at all these people that I apparently on some level despise and loathe and rather believe to be deserving of their grisly fates to come.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI\u2019m quite cheerful to have learned that the woman I once flew into murderous rages because of has found some measure of happiness with a man other than me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cHe\u2019s the greatest villain there ever was! Someone who is not actually as good at their job as they pretend to be!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI think it\u2019s finally time we truly revel in our real villainy here! Cheating on my wife, AHAHAHA! Purely because I wished to do so!\u201d
\n\u201cYes! Which is the literal exact same reasoning that my husband Hank had for cheating on me, damn his heroic act!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cHe did it, didn\u2019t he\u2026 he blew it all up\u2026 he nobly and heroically caused untold property damage and likely many immediate direct deaths due to countless acts of violent sabotage and terrorism.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cEven though he inexplicably still keeps paying for my lifestyle despite stating open contempt for me, I\u2019m relatively sure the only thing that has kept him from murdering me himself is that I\u2019m such a lowly worm that I\u2019m far beneath his attention and effort to be worth the act.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cSo, your argument is that socialism is bad, because socialists like soy beans but don\u2019t know how to grow them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cWe could still save the country by completely abandoning half of it. This is a plan that is completely sensible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI really wouldn\u2019t want you to help me in the slightest John, I was just hoping that at this moment when I was at my most vulnerable and helpless you\u2019d have borderline abusive sex with me and then just abandon me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI\u2019ll just be fading back into being another faceless goon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI will have revenge for you! Upon all the people who have ever helped and supported you through your entire life!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cWhat you consider the pinnacle of your plan is usually just step one for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cYou can\u2019t save them! You have to let all of them die! You monster! How dare you try and save the world!\u201d<\/p>\n