Atlas Shrugged: Death and Taxes<\/a>.<\/i><\/p>\nRagnar:<\/b> Wait a minute, you almost tricked me there!
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Okay this is going to sound weird for me but I wasn\u2019t trying to trick you. But what are you talking about?
\nRagnar:<\/b> Well obviously I\u2019m a good guy and not a villain, and I\u2019m super smart math guy to boot!
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Morbid curiosity drives me to ask why?
\nRagnar:<\/b> As you know, taxes are evil.
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Commonly held sentiment I believe.
\nRagnar:<\/b> Well I refund people\u2019s taxes to them!
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> So you\u2019re giving money away?
\nRagnar:<\/b> No no. Not giving money away. I\u2019m investing, which we all also know is the greatest possible good!
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Well you know I\u2019m a villain, self professed, and I\u2019ve had a lot of people invest in me over the years\u2026
\nRagnar:<\/b> All heroes I\u2019m sure.
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Sure, fine. But\u2026 okay so you\u2019re giving people their taxes back, like everyone? You\u2019re just completely bankrupting all the governments?
\nRagnar:<\/b> Well not everyone\u2026 just the super elite! Like maybe the one percent?
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> That\u2019s still millions of people! I have enough trouble figuring out the pay for the Cobra Troopers and half of them are robots. Usually the ones who complain about not getting paid I just turn into robots, cheaper than figuring out the paperwork. Also this is the 1950\u2019s isn\u2019t it?
\nRagnar:<\/b> Um\u2026 no it\u2019s the future! Where trains rule the world!
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Right so\u2026 50\u2019s. Tax rate for the top bracket of income is like 91%, and the top bracket is people making around 3 million dollars a year or more.
\nRagnar:<\/b> Okay first of all\u2026 maybe? And second of all stop with the millions of people we\u2019re talking like thousands\u2026 hundreds\u2026 it\u2019s not clear.
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Not really selling me on the \u2018super smart math guy\u2019 thing.
\nRagnar:<\/b> Well I\u2019m smart enough to calculate 12 years worth of taxes for all the super elite!
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Not sure\u2026 how you did that\u2026 but so okay for the average top income bracket individual that would be probably close to 3 million dollars. An ounce of gold in 1950 is worth oh\u2026 35 bucks, and the standard gold bar is 400 troy ounces.
\nRagnar:<\/b> I guess?
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Trust me, I steal a lot of these things. So a gold bar in 1950 is worth 14 thousand dollars. So twelve years of taxes, without interest, would be like 2570 gold bars. And that\u2019s assuming the average top earner, not even like the top of the top of the earners who are making maybe dozens or hundreds of millions of dollars even. But I\u2019ll even cut you a break and just say we\u2019ll go with the average.
\nRagnar:<\/b> Thanks! I think\u2026 but yeah see, 2570! Not\u2026 you know\u2026 that much.
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Per person! I mean come on if even if there\u2019s only a thousand of you that\u2019s over two and a half million gold bars!
\nRagnar:<\/b> Well I definitely have all those. Somewhere. Where you can\u2019t see. Definitely have them though. Yup.
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Okay just\u2026 we have other problems here.
\nRagnar:<\/b> Okay but that\u2019s not a problem, I definitely have millions of gold bars lying around.
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Sure you do. Okay so why are you handing them out now one at a time?
\nRagnar:<\/b> Like I said, it\u2019s an investment.
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> In the world. Or more specifically, the world after it\u2019s come to an end.
\nRagnar:<\/b> Yes.
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> So why are you risking capture of yourself and your allies by the authorities when the people won\u2019t even need the money until after the end of the world when the authorities aren\u2019t even going to be a problem anymore? And doing it one at a time? Where you\u2019d need to make\u2026 millions of trips?
\nRagnar:<\/b> Well you know\u2026 sneaking around\u2026 it\u2019s all piratey and cool isn\u2019t it?
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> And what are you investing in?
\nRagnar:<\/b> Well I give these people gold bars and they\u2019ll fix the world up all nice for me!
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> No contract.
\nRagnar:<\/b> Nope.
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> I feel like your desire to create an anti-Robin Hood metaphor has ended up making you stand completely contrary to the ideals of your group and ideology by forcing yourself to fit the idea of \u2018Cool Pirate Guy\u2019 into a mold that he doesn\u2019t fit in. I mean you\u2019re giving away stolen money without contracts or purpose to someone to do what they want with in hopes it\u2019ll work out well for you? That\u2026 doesn\u2019t sound what I thought you guys were trying to do?
\nRagnar:<\/b> You say that, but here I am being a cool pirate guy and a hero, so what do you say to that?
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> I say\u2026 let me try a change of tact. Hi! I\u2019m a hero too, will you give me free gold bars?
\nRagnar:<\/b> Wait what? But you were all just trying to trick me and lie to me!
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Nope, definitely wasn\u2019t. After all, I\u2019m rich, and thus I would never lie.
\nRagnar:<\/b> Well\u2026 your story checks out so far\u2026 but what would you do with the money I gave you?
\nCobra Commander:<\/b> Either nothing\u2026 or maybe I\u2019d topple a few countries, prop up some puppet regimes. You know\u2026 conquer the world kind of stuff.
\nRagnar:<\/b> Well that settles it, you\u2019re definitely a hero! I\u2019ll go fetch some gold bars.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: Death and Taxes. Ragnar: Wait a minute, you almost tricked me there! Cobra Commander: Okay this is going to sound weird for me but I wasn\u2019t trying to trick you. But what are you talking about? Ragnar: Well obviously I\u2019m a good guy and not a villain, and I\u2019m super […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1308,"featured_media":0,"parent":9712,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-9729","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\n
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