{"id":14156,"date":"2012-06-10T17:51:57","date_gmt":"2012-06-10T23:51:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/deaconsbench\/?p=14156"},"modified":"2016-09-30T17:08:12","modified_gmt":"2016-09-30T21:08:12","slug":"corpus-christi-fail-i-was-thisclose-to-walking-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/deaconsbench\/2012\/06\/corpus-christi-fail-i-was-thisclose-to-walking-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Corpus Christi FAIL: “I was thisclose to walking out…”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

When I hit my knees tonight, I may have to thank God that I didn\u2019t have the kind of Corpus Christi Sunday that Joanne McPortland had: <\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

No procession, no\u00a0Tantum ergo<\/em>, no\u00a0Adoro te devote<\/em>, no\u00a0Panis angelicus<\/em>\u2014that was a given. But I expected at least a couple of reminders of the mystery we were celebrating, the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ. And when what I got instead was a mishmash of the same old DavidMartyMichael HaasHaugenJoncas 100%-Jesus-free songs about us\u2014we<\/em> gather,\u00a0we<\/em> break bread,\u00a0we<\/em> share wine,\u00a0we<\/em> used to be afraid but now\u00a0we<\/em> aren\u2019t,\u00a0we <\/em>are the world, aren\u2019t\u00a0we<\/em> just the best?\u2014I got cranky. Really cranky.<\/p>\n

I started noticing all the things that were getting between me and the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ. Father\u2019s dramatic liturgical intonation, complete with ad libs intended to remind us how terrific\u00a0we<\/em> are. His provincial\u2019s homily, which gave short shrift to the readings and praised the jubilarian with the fulsomeness of an emcee introducing a dinner speaker. The young teen altar server who\u2019d obviously arrived too late to find an ankle-length robe that fit and so moved through the liturgy in what looked like a white mini-shroud over short shorts and a pair of neon turquoise hightop sneakers. The other teen girls who didn\u2019t have the benefit of mini-shrouds to cover their short short shorts and camisole tops with bra straps protruding. Worst of all, the woman among Father\u2019s visiting family who had appointed herself court photographer, and documented every moment of the liturgy by snapping and flashing a camera with a foot-long zoom lens.<\/p>\n

I know exactly how this sounds, and I hate myself for it. But I was thisclose to walking out, stopping by the house for the black lace mantilla I didn\u2019t need in Rome, and seeing whether I could sneak past the radar to get into the EF Latin Mass north of town. That\u2019s how bad I\u2019m getting.<\/p>\n

I started to come to my senses just before Communion, recognizing that it was my own orneriness, not anybody else\u2019s turquoise hightops, that was keeping me from the Body of Christ. Responding to the invitation to Communion, I muttered, \u201c. . . speak lots of words, Lord, because my soul needs powerful healing.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Well. \u00a0She asked, and God answered. \u00a0Big time. \u00a0Check out what happened next. <\/a><\/strong> It\u2019s a lovely object lesson.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I hit my knees tonight, I may have to thank God that I didn\u2019t have the kind of Corpus Christi Sunday that Joanne McPortland had: No procession, no\u00a0Tantum ergo, no\u00a0Adoro te devote, no\u00a0Panis angelicus\u2014that was a given. But I expected at least a couple of reminders of the mystery we were celebrating, the Most […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":132,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[265],"class_list":["post-14156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-liturgy","tag-corpus-christi"],"yoast_head":"\nCorpus Christi FAIL: "I was thisclose to walking out..."<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When I hit my knees tonight, I may have to thank God that I didn't have the kind of Corpus Christi Sunday that Joanne McPortland had: No procession,\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/deaconsbench\/2012\/06\/corpus-christi-fail-i-was-thisclose-to-walking-out\/\" \/>\n<meta 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