Apart from my Catholic faith and my relationship with Jesus I am certain I would be dead. It\u2019s as simple as that. Whether from a bullet from a prison guard or by my own hand, I\u2019m not sure, but the world would be getting along without me. And no one can suffer mental illness without wondering if he\u2019d be better off dead anyway. It\u2019s hard to imagine a cross harder to bear, or heavier, or more laden with shame. But through it all Jesus has given me hope, strength, and indefatigable peace. He has not saved me\u00a0from<\/em>\u00a0suffering; rather, he has given me a much greater gift: he has saved me\u00a0through<\/em>\u00a0suffering. My suffering, my weakness, is a badge of honor, and not a scarlet letter.<\/p>\nSince my illness began I have spent many nights outside, alone, cold and tired, even barefoot on one occasion, wandering in an oblivious haze; I\u2019ve been thrown out of motels, restaurants, and other public places; I\u2019ve been frisked, arrested, pepper sprayed, handcuffed, and jailed; I\u2019ve been in and out of psych wards; I\u2019ve been seen by many doctors (one of whom summed up my condition the most succinctly when he exclaimed \u201cJesus Christ, you\u2019re crazy!\u201d); I\u2019ve been ignored and turned out on the streets when I obviously needed help; I\u2019ve suffered major depression, suicidal desires, and chronic lethargy; I\u2019ve lived for years in my mother\u2019s basement; I\u2019ve been fired, and I\u2019ve quit many jobs under a cloud, either with or without notice. I\u2019ve also gained almost 100 pounds from my medication, which carries a high risk of diabetes and other side effects even more unpleasant; and the bright spot is, I have\u2014however imprudently\u2014taught myself to smoke (the self-medication of nicotine calms the nerves and provides a small lift out of the mental fog, giving a few minutes of something approaching a normal self-awareness).<\/p>\n
My Catholic faith gets me through everything. I know that I am a human person who has value, despite consistently underperforming in almost every job I\u2019ve had in the last 13 years, and there have been many. I am not a \u201cmentally-ill person\u201d or a \u201cschizophrenic\u201d; I am a human person who struggles with mental illness. My illness does not define me; my relationship with Jesus does. And Jesus, in our relationship, looks out for me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Read it all.<\/a><\/strong> \u00a0Those of us who know and love people struggling with mental illness can only be grateful for Schifter\u2019s candor and courage \u2014 and for the grace God gave him to share his story.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Over at Catholic Lane you will find this astonishing confession by Anthony Schefter, titled \u201cCatholic But Mentally Ill.\u201d \u00a0Here is a life most of us can\u2019t imagine. \u00a0(And thanks, Mark Shea, for the tip!) A snip:\u00a0 Apart from my Catholic faith and my relationship with Jesus I am certain I would be dead. It\u2019s as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":132,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,48],"tags":[570,1223],"class_list":["post-15780","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-great-links","category-the-people-in-the-pews","tag-mental-illness","tag-schizophrenia"],"yoast_head":"\n
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