{"id":19479,"date":"2013-01-02T09:37:45","date_gmt":"2013-01-02T14:37:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/deaconsbench\/?p=19479"},"modified":"2016-09-30T17:01:08","modified_gmt":"2016-09-30T21:01:08","slug":"mother-gives-13-year-old-son-an-iphone-and-some-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/deaconsbench\/2013\/01\/mother-gives-13-year-old-son-an-iphone-and-some-rules\/","title":{"rendered":"Mother gives 13-year-old son an iPhone\u2014and some rules\u2014UPDATED"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Blogger and mother Janell Burley Hoffman gave her teenage son an iPhone for Christmas \u2014and an 18-point contract.<\/p>\n

To wit:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Merry Christmas!\u00a0 You are now the proud owner of an iPhone.\u00a0 Hot Damn!\u00a0 You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift.\u00a0 But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations.\u00a0 Please read through the following contract.\u00a0 I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it.\u00a0 Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.\u00a0<\/em>I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>1.\u00a0It is my phone.\u00a0 I bought it.\u00a0 I pay for it.\u00a0 I am loaning it to you.\u00a0 Aren\u2019t I the greatest?<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 I will always know the password.<\/p>\n

3. \u00a0\u00a0If it rings, answer it.\u00a0 It is a phone.\u00a0 Say hello, use your manners.\u00a0 Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads \u201cMom\u201d or \u201cDad\u201d.\u00a0 Not ever.<\/p>\n

4. \u00a0Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm.\u00a0 It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am.\u00a0 If you would not make a call to someone\u2019s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text.\u00a0 Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.<\/p>\n

5. \u00a0It does not go to school with you.\u00a0 Have a conversation with the people you text in person.\u00a0 It\u2019s a life skill.\u00a0 *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.<\/p>\n

6. \u00a0If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs.\u00a0 Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money.\u00a0 It will happen, you should be prepared.<\/p>\n

7. \u00a0Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being.\u00a0 Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others.\u00a0 Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.<\/p>\n

8. \u00a0Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.<\/p>\n

9. \u00a0Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room.\u00a0 Censor yourself.<\/p>\n

10. \u00a0No porn.\u00a0 Search the web for information you would openly share with me.\u00a0 If you have a question about anything, ask a person \u2013 preferably me or your father.<\/p>\n

11. \u00a0Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public.\u00a0 Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being.\u00a0 You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.<\/p>\n

12. \u00a0Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else\u2019s private parts.\u00a0 Don\u2019t laugh.\u00a0 Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence.\u00a0 It is risky and could ruin your teenage\/college\/adult life.\u00a0 It is always a bad idea.\u00a0 Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you.\u00a0 And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear \u2013 including a bad reputation.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Read more<\/strong>.<\/a><\/p>\n

UPDATE:<\/strong> A couple folks told me the links aren\u2019t working. \u00a0They\u2019ve been fixed.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Blogger and mother Janell Burley Hoffman gave her teenage son an iPhone for Christmas \u2014and an 18-point contract. To wit: Merry Christmas!\u00a0 You are now the proud owner of an iPhone.\u00a0 Hot Damn!\u00a0 You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift.\u00a0 But with the acceptance of this present […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":132,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19479","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-this-that"],"yoast_head":"\nMother gives 13-year-old son an iPhone\u2014and some rules\u2014UPDATED<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Blogger and mother Janell Burley Hoffman gave her teenage son an iPhone for Christmas \u2014and an 18-point contract. 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