{"id":23630,"date":"2013-06-04T10:00:48","date_gmt":"2013-06-04T14:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/deaconsbench\/?p=23630"},"modified":"2016-09-30T16:51:25","modified_gmt":"2016-09-30T20:51:25","slug":"i-think-i-owe-some-apologies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/deaconsbench\/2013\/06\/i-think-i-owe-some-apologies\/","title":{"rendered":"“I think I owe some apologies…”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Mark Shea strikes a poignant tone of contrition and humility in this morning\u2019s post. Listen closely and you can hear the fervent thumping of his fist against his chest.<\/p>\n

Snip:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

The past week has not been a pleasant one, but it has been a fruitful one.\u00a0 I won\u2019t bore you with a lot of autobiography, but I will say that the Holy Spirit has been very busy, turning over some rocks in the heart that have nasty things living under them.\u00a0 And since some of them concern youse guys (who have been way more patient with me than I would be if I were reading me over the past several years) I think I owe some apologies.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>You know how something can be right in front of your face and you can\u2019t see it?\u00a0 That\u2019s what it\u2019s been for me this week and really for a good number of years.\u00a0 I\u2019ve sensed that something is wrong, but not been able to really get it or know what to do about it.\u00a0 Partly I spent a lot of time thinking about the reaction to\u00a0this piece<\/a>, in which it was very plain that the issue for readers was simply that I had offended and angered a lot of people for a long time.\u00a0But in many ways, the reactions to that piece just seemed to recapitulate a lot of reactions over the\u00a0years.\u00a0It seemed obvious to me that the problem was me, not my readers (since I don\u2019t believe in conspiracy theories).\u00a0 My assumption is that when a random sample of people all report a very similar experience, that\u2019s because they are reacting to something that is there, not conspiring to create an illusion of something that is not.<\/p>\n

So there was that.\u00a0 There is also the fact that, over the past several years, I have engaged in a number of arguments on a number of questions that have brought to the surface some pretty deep rooted habits of soul.\u00a0 I have remarked on them in the past and tried to repent of them (sincerely, I might add, but of course the problem with besetting sins is that they are\u00a0besetting<\/em>: think about that sin you\u2019ve confessed a hundred times and seem to make no progress with.\u00a0 Frustrating, ain\u2019t it?)<\/p>\n

Anyway, it all kind of came to a head this weekend on Sunday, starting at Mass.\u00a0 The hymn was, appropriately enough for Corpus Christi, \u201cTaste and See\u201d.\u00a0 As I was praying it just got more and more apparent to me that the message I\u2019m getting back from so many quarters is, if you will, \u201cYou taste bitter\u201d.<\/p>\n

And I couldn\u2019t argue with that.\u00a0 I do taste bitter.\u00a0And for that I am deeply, profoundly sorry, because it is through my fault, through my fault, through my own most grievous fault that I do.\u00a0 I\u2019ve become bitter in much of my interaction with people.\u00a0 And bitterness is a root that \u201cdefiles many\u201d according to Hebrews.\u00a0 In my case, I think I have defiled quite a number of hearts who came here looking for the gospel and instead just got Mark Shea getting increasingly cynical and angry about all sorts of stuff.\u00a0 You can\u2019t eat food, including food for the soul, that is bitter.\u00a0 My apologies to all to whom I have done this.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And there is more. Deep, personal, searching and profoundly honest. It is, in a way, a gift\u2014and a challenge.\u00a0Read it all.\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0There\u2019s a lot here for all of us to ponder and pray over.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mark Shea strikes a poignant tone of contrition and humility in this morning\u2019s post. Listen closely and you can hear the fervent thumping of his fist against his chest. Snip: The past week has not been a pleasant one, but it has been a fruitful one.\u00a0 I won\u2019t bore you with a lot of autobiography, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":132,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23630","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogging","category-great-links"],"yoast_head":"\n"I think I owe some apologies..."<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mark Shea strikes a poignant tone of contrition and humility in this morning's post. 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