{"id":79590,"date":"2013-08-01T09:05:57","date_gmt":"2013-08-01T14:05:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/aleteia.org\/?post_type=post&p=79590"},"modified":"2013-08-01T09:05:57","modified_gmt":"2013-08-01T14:05:57","slug":"err-in-the-direction-of-kindness-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/deaconsbench\/2013\/08\/err-in-the-direction-of-kindness-2\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cErr in the direction of kindness\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

A few wise words<\/a><\/strong> that many of us need to hear these days (well, I know I<\/em> do!). \u00a0They come from acclaimed writer George Saunders. He delivered this commencement speech at Syracuse University a few weeks ago:<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s something I know to be true, although it\u2019s a little corny, and I don\u2019t quite know what to do with it:<\/p>\n

What I regret most in my life are\u00a0failures of kindness.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded\u2026sensibly.\u00a0 Reservedly.\u00a0 Mildly.<\/p>\n

Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope:\u00a0 Who, in\u00a0your<\/em>\u00a0life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?<\/p>\n

Those who were kindest to you, I bet.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I\u2019d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than:\u00a0Try to be kinder\u2026<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

\u2026Kindness, it turns out, is\u00a0hard<\/em>\u00a0\u2013 it starts out all rainbows and puppy dogs, and expands to include\u2026well,everything<\/em>.<\/p>\n

One thing in our favor:\u00a0 some of this \u201cbecoming kinder\u201d happens naturally, with age.\u00a0 It might be a simple matter of attrition:\u00a0 as we get older, we come to see how useless it is to be selfish \u2013 how illogical, really.\u00a0 We come to love other people and are thereby counter-instructed in our own centrality.\u00a0 We get our butts kicked by real life, and people come to our defense, and help us, and we learn that we\u2019re not separate, and don\u2019t want to be.\u00a0 We see people near and dear to us dropping away, and are gradually convinced that maybe we too will drop away (someday, a long time from now).\u00a0 Most people, as they age, become less selfish and more loving.\u00a0 I think this is true.\u00a0 The great Syracuse poet, Hayden Carruth, said, in a poem written near the end of his life, that he was \u201cmostly Love, now.\u201d<\/p>\n

And so, a prediction, and my heartfelt wish for you: as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love.\u00a0 YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE.\u00a0\u00a0 If you have kids, that will be a huge moment in your process of self-diminishment.<\/p>\n

\u2026So, quick, end-of-speech advice: Since, according to me, your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up.\u00a0 Speed it along.\u00a0 Start right now.\u00a0 There\u2019s a confusion in each of us, a sickness, really:selfishness<\/em>.\u00a0 But there\u2019s also a cure.\u00a0 So be a good and proactive and even somewhat desperate patient on your own behalf \u2013 seek out the most efficacious anti-selfishness medicines, energetically, for the rest of your life.<\/p>\n

Do all the other things, the ambitious things \u2013 travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop) \u2013 but as you do, to the extent that you can,\u00a0err in the direction of kindness<\/em>.\u00a0 Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial.\u00a0 That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality \u2013 your soul, if you will \u2013 is as bright and shining as any that has ever been. \u00a0Bright as Shakespeare\u2019s, bright as Gandhi\u2019s, bright as Mother Theresa\u2019s.\u00a0 Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret luminous place.\u00a0 Believe it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u00a0There\u2019s much more. \u00a0Read the whole thing.\u00a0<\/a><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few wise words that many of us need to hear these days (well, I know I do!). \u00a0They come from acclaimed writer George Saunders. He delivered this commencement speech at Syracuse University a few weeks ago: Here\u2019s something I know to be true, although it\u2019s a little corny, and I don\u2019t quite know what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":132,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\n\u201cErr in the direction of kindness\u201d<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A few wise words that many of us need to hear these days (well, I know I do!). \u00a0They come from acclaimed writer George Saunders. 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