Walking paths and garden ornaments separate the shade gardens into individual spaces. Photo by the author.<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\nThis story also involves Paula\u2019s brother-in-law, Lowell, who lives across the road. Several years ago, he was farming Paula\u2019s parents\u2019 land and made decisions that the family didn\u2019t approve of. In their estimation, he wasn\u2019t a good steward of the land they\u2019d entrusted to him. The family drew up Notice of Termination papers and forced him off the farm, with consequences that weren\u2019t surprising.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt started a big war,\u201d Paula says. A war that lasted for years.<\/p>\n
Even though they lived within full view of one another, Paula and Lowell didn\u2019t speak. Family gatherings were strained and awkward, but Paula held fast to her indignation.<\/p>\n
Then one spring day, four years after the war began, she came home to find her gardens a mess. There were deep holes. Plants were uprooted and strewn everywhere. The newly seeded grass was destroyed. Birdbaths were tipped over. Random damage ran throughout the entire property. It looked like a bull had had a field day in her gardens.<\/p>\n
Because that\u2019s exactly what had happened.<\/p>\n
Lowell\u2019s bull had gotten loose and, in its impatience to get to the cows across the fence, it tromped through Paula\u2019s perfect oasis, damaging every one of her outdoor spaces.<\/p>\n
So Paula followed her first instinct.<\/p>\n
She called the sheriff. Then she called a landscaper. \u201cI wanted to get estimates so I could really pin my brother-in-law to the wall,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
From there, she recalls, \u201cit just escalated. Anger is like a fire. The more fuel you give it, the hotter it gets.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bull incident took place on a Friday. The following Tuesday night at our A Course in Miracles<\/em> class, Paula told us about the bull incident and how irate she was. But later that evening, she had an epiphany. In the reading that night, a passage about love connected with a desire that was deeper, bigger and more profound than her need to be right.<\/p>\nPaula and her soul collage card. Photo by the author.<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\u201cI don\u2019t want to do this anymore,\u201d she announced to the class, referring to the years of conflict. \u201cI really want peace.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her whole demeanor changed. Her posture relaxed, her face and hands were soft and open. In that moment, she made a choice, and it showed on her immediately.<\/p>\n
It turns out that, for a long time, despite the ongoing standoff with Lowell, Paula had been asking Spirit for \u201cpeace in my little corner of the world.\u201d When she drove by Lowell\u2019s house, she silently wished him peace and love, \u201ceven some days when I didn\u2019t feel like it,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s why, when the bull incident happened, she was ready to give up the fight. It was as though something had gently nudged her awake, and she quietly withdrew from the battle.<\/p>\n
Then something truly<\/em> unexpected occurred.<\/p>\nThe morning after the Miracles<\/em> class, Paula was working in her parents\u2019 yard down the road when Lowell drove by. He slowed to a stop and rolled down the window.<\/p>\nRemember, they hadn\u2019t talked for years, and he didn\u2019t know anything about the change of heart she\u2019d had the night before. Not consciously, anyway.<\/p>\n
But when he stopped the car, Paula literally skipped over to greet him. \u201cI was almost jumping because I was so excited to have the chance to talk to him,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
He told her that he\u2019d heard about the damage his bull did, and that he would be glad to pay.<\/p>\n
Her next words changed everything. \u201cLowell,\u201d she said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to do this anymore. I don\u2019t want to live with this anger between us.\u201d<\/p>\n
And he said, \u201cI agree with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Later that day, Paula called and asked him for $200 in damages, and he wrote her a check for $250.<\/p>\n
It was over, just like that\u2014not just the more recent anger about the bull, but all the years of tension that had locked them in a rigid dance of guilt and blame.<\/p>\n
Before, her goal had been to make her brother-in-law pay. Now she had a different goal: Letting herself and him out of their prison of anger so they could live in peace.<\/p>\n
The hatchet isn\u2019t just buried, it simply no longer exists. \u201cIt\u2019s a relief not to be living with that conflict,\u201d Paula says. \u201cIt takes such a toll on you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paula is still amazed at the serendipity of it all. \u201cFor me to say I\u2019m going to choose the peaceful route, the loving route\u2026and then to have Lowell show up the next day for the opportunity to share that with him. It proved to me that that\u2019s what the Holy Spirit wants for us. He gives us the opportunity to fix whatever is wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
There\u2019s one more take-away to this story, Paula says, and it\u2019s as big as a one-ton bull. \u201cIf we attack someone, we attack ourselves. If we send peace to someone, we send it to ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\nThe soul collage card, a reminder of the miracle of forgiveness. Photo by the author.<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\nAfter the incident with the bull, Paula made a soul collage card to remind her of its meaning. \u201cI don\u2019t ever want to forget this miracle,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe bull dancing through my gardens\u00a0offered me a choice. Would I seek justice or walk through the door of forgiveness? As the butterfly struggles to be released from its cocoon,\u00a0my struggle with this decision produced the beauty\u00a0of forgiveness and the soaring freedom from long-held grievances.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
That, she says, is how it\u2019s possible\u2014with Spirit\u2019s help\u2014to bring peace to your little corner of the world.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s an idea, I\u2019m guessing, that the Prince of Peace Himself would heartily endorse.<\/p>\n
Blessings,<\/p>\n
Deb<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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![\"Paula's](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/592\/2015\/12\/2013-05-18-Paulas-garden-3.jpg\")
<\/a>