{"id":276,"date":"2011-06-10T03:14:49","date_gmt":"2011-06-10T03:14:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/community\/diaryofawimpycatholic\/?p=276"},"modified":"2015-03-13T15:04:54","modified_gmt":"2015-03-13T21:04:54","slug":"a-basset-is-an-asset","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/diaryofawimpycatholic\/2011\/06\/a-basset-is-an-asset\/","title":{"rendered":"A Basset Is An Asset"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

If a hard-hitting pundit like Elizabeth can post cute pet videos for filler, then a tyro like me would be over-scrupulous not to.<\/p>\n<\/iframe>\nI\u2019m a dog person with no dog. For the moment, that\u2019s right and proper. I live in an apartment and keep weird hours. I doubt a dog and I could make each other very happy for very long.<\/p>\nBut mark my words: one day, I\u2019m getting a basset hound. They\u2019ve got everything to reconnmend them: sweet, unfemanding temperament; ears like swatches of velvet; cute little walrus feet; the look of a martyr at the stake. Critics love to point out that bassets aren\u2019t especially bright. So what, I say. I\u2019m rating pets, not chess partners.<\/p>\nMy best friend has the Audrey Hepburn of basset hounds. At nearly eight years old, she weighs just over 40 lbs, and her belly has never hung less than a full inch from the ground. Strangers routinely mistake her for a puppy or a beagle.<\/p>\nBy basset hound standards she may be a waif, but in those moments when she\u2019s looks her most human \u2014 all dogs have those moments, as any dog person can tell you \u2014 she reminds me of Britney Spears. It\u2019s something about her determined, stubby legs and imploring brown eyes. Also, my friend got her in October of 2003, just around the time <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=LOZuxwVk7TU\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">\u201cToxic\u201d<\/strong><\/a> hit the Top 40. Like nearly every Top 40 hit, it\u2019s complete and utter schlock, but catchy schlock \u2014 a plucky little earworm. One day, seeing the puppy yawn extravantly, her tongue spilling out of her mouth, nearly to the floor, I suddenly remembered that line about \u201cYour toxic tongue\/Blah-blah-blah-blah.\u201d Since then, I\u2019ve always been in Britney\u2019s camp, no mattter what damnfool stunt she\u2019s pulled.<\/p>\nNo human basset hound can be all bad.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"If a hard-hitting pundit like Elizabeth can post cute pet videos for filler, then a tyro like me would be over-scrupulous not to. I\u2019m a dog person with no dog. For the moment, that\u2019s right and proper. I live in an apartment and keep weird hours. I doubt a dog and I could make each […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":192,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[39,170,187],"class_list":["post-276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-britney-spears","tag-music","tag-pets"],"yoast_head":"\n<title>A Basset Is An Asset<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If a hard-hitting pundit like Elizabeth can post cute pet videos for filler, then a tyro like me would be over-scrupulous not to. 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I'm a dog person with no\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/diaryofawimpycatholic\/2011\/06\/a-basset-is-an-asset\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Diary of a Wimpy Catholic\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-06-10T03:14:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-03-13T21:04:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Max Lindenman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Max Lindenman\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/diaryofawimpycatholic\/2011\/06\/a-basset-is-an-asset\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/diaryofawimpycatholic\/2011\/06\/a-basset-is-an-asset\/\",\"name\":\"A Basset Is An Asset\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/diaryofawimpycatholic\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-06-10T03:14:49+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-03-13T21:04:54+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/diaryofawimpycatholic\/#\/schema\/person\/f28642d6ff756d058ed6ff35f876e355\"},\"description\":\"If a hard-hitting pundit like Elizabeth can post cute pet videos for filler, then a tyro like me would be over-scrupulous not to. 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