Canadian University to Offer Creation ‘Science’ Degrees

Canadian University to Offer Creation ‘Science’ Degrees February 21, 2012

Memorial University in Newfoundland, Canada is establishing a department of creation science and will begin giving out four-year degrees as well as master’s and PhDs in “creation science” beginning this fall. And the man in charge of it appears to be entirely delusional:

“I’m pleased to announce that the faculty of science will be offering brand new programs in very scientifically sound fields,” said Frederick Scott, forthcoming head of the creation science department.

“Creation science and intelligent design are theoretically tested, robustly researched fields which the global scientific community has accepted as a legitimate academic research project, and both areas stand side by side with the other natural sciences.”

While the course offerings will be limited for the first year, according to Scott, there will be many interesting and attractive courses for both undergraduates and graduates, ranging from courses on the Genesis account of the Bible and intro to creationism, to critical assessment of fossil records, anti-evolutionism and advanced intelligent design.

Yes, you should be laughing right now.

Along with these new programs comes new policy from MUN that requires all other classes that deal with evolutionary theory to provide the following disclaimer: “Evolution is a theory and not necessarily a fact. There exists a serious debate within the scientific community as to the overall legitimacy of evolutionary theory, and, as such, creation science ought to be given equal time in the classroom alongside evolutionary theory.”

Simply put, all mention of evolution in class must be met with equal time in creation science. This entails that even if the word “evolution” is literally spoken in class, then “creationism” must also be said.

Many professors have resigned in protest since hearing the news, while others have embraced it.

“It’s a great day for science and democracy,” said Maggie Wilson, professor of biology at MUN. “For years I wanted to bring God into my biology classroom, and now I finally can!”

Anyone who has a degree from this university should really demand their money back immediately.

Many students are also very excited. First-year student Lisa Gibbons is dropping all aspirations of studying biochemistry at MUN, and is ecstatic about her future studies in creation science.

“I’ve always known in my heart that the earth was 6,000 years old, and it’s great that this fact is now accepted at the university level,” said Gibbons.

Oh yes, we should always give degrees to people who know things in their heart. What alternative do they have? Their brains clearly aren’t working.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Chiroptera

    Does Canada have accreditation standards for its universities?

    Or are they kind of like US accreditation standards: make sure you do all the paperwork properly and get it in on time?

  • slc1

    It’s certainly nice to know that all the world’s nutcases are not confined to the USA. Is this so-called “university” accredited by the appropriate authorities in Canada? Possibly Freethoughtblog’s Canadian contributors can respond to that question.

  • tbrandt

    Oh come on. That has to be a poe.

  • crimbly

    It’s in the “Satire” section of the press. I think you’ve fallen for a joke article Ed.

  • daved

    Oh come on. That has to be a poe.

    Oh, I think so. Go look at the original article, especially the supposed press agency.

  • Michael Heath

    “I’ve always known in my heart that the earth was 6,000 years old, and it’s great that this fact is now accepted at the university level,” said Gibbons.

    They just can’t help themselves. They’ve got to signal their own delusions; because it’s in their heart to do so, otherwise they’re disloyal to their faith.

  • anandine

    This “university” says it is accredited by the Department of Education, Newfoundland & Labrador. However, according the Dept of Ed’s website, “The Department of Education is responsible for early childhood learning, the K-12 school system, and public libraries in Newfoundland and Labrador.” A search of their website for “memorial university” returned 423 hits, but all of the 10 or so I tried returned “The web page you requested could not be found on this server.”

  • Chiroptera

    Well, to be fair, that is what “poe” is supposed mean. One often can’t really tell the difference between a satire of the religiousfundamentalistpoliticalconservative and the real thing without someone stamping “SATIRE” in big red letters over the whole thing.

  • ubermalark

    Upon first glance I really thought this had to be an onion article.. turns out it was not but it definitely was a satire article nonetheless. Phew. False alarm everyone.

  • Original site.

    http://www.themuse.ca/articles/49848

    MUN is a respectable institution. I mean ANSAXDAT comes from there!!!!!

  • a hangman on tyre

    It’s a poe — it comes from the university’s newspaper and was originally in the humour section along with an article about how Sidney Scrosby is not actually hurt but is on a European holiday…….

    look at it here….http://www.swgc.mun.ca/marketcomm/Marketing/The_Muse/TheMuse_62_10.pdf

    It’s on page 4

  • I think you’ve been had. It’s in the “Satire” section, along with “RCMP arrest George W. Bush, because that’s totally how international politics work.” And thank goodness, because you had me worried for a minute.

  • And here I was, imagining outraged biology students going to the registrar’s office and demanding their money back, since the school chose to make their degrees worthless.

  • @SLC1

    It’s certainly nice to know that all the world’s nutcases are not confined to the USA.

    Nah… just Canadians ridiculing Americans again.

  • Didaktylos

    I was going to say – surely this was due to be published on 1st April but go out early.

  • Oh come on, satire? This was my last hope of getting a collage degree!

    My thesis would read:

    GOD DID IT.

  • michaeld

    Oh thank FSM its satire. I’m already embarrassed enough with our government I didn’t need this as well.

  • kraut

    “Yes, you should be laughing right now.”

    Sometimes it helps to read the headings:

    “ST. JOHN’S, N.L. (CUP HUMOUR) — The faculty of…”

  • Well I’m relieved that it’s a satire. I’d never come across that source before, so I had no way of knowing. Whew.

  • mikelaing

    It’s still in the humour section. I just followed the link and clicked on ‘Humor’ in the menu and scrolled down. Some of those stories are hilarious!

  • If you believe that you’ll believe this:

    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0500/femsoul.html

  • d cwilson

    Okay, the article is satire, but I’m sure people at places like the Discovery Institute would love to put together a degree program in creationism. Can anyone imagine what that would be like? I mean, how many lectures can you give in “Goddidit”?

  • ashartus

    Whew – as someone who did one of my degrees at MUN (which is a completely reputable university) I was worried there. I’m glad it’s a satire.

  • marcus

    ED @ 19 “Well I’m relieved that it’s a satire. I’d never come across that source before, so I had no way of knowing. Whew.”

    No, no Ed, not the way to do it! As a skier and a whitewater kayaker I advise you to always “act like you meant to do it that way”. Here you go.

    “I knew that, I was just testing you all.” See much better.

  • ischemgeek

    Oh, wow. So glad it’s a joke. I didn’t attend MUN, but I seriously considered going there for my undergrad. When I first read this, I exclaimed “What?!” so loudly everyone around me in the lunch room jumped and stared. XD

  • lordshipmayhem

    The Newfies always knew how to joke. They laugh all the way to the bank at all those damnfool tourists snapping up the “Newfie” joke books.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    marcus #24: No, no Ed, not the way to do it! As a skier and a whitewater kayaker I advise you to always “act like you meant to do it that way”.

    Or as I heard it: When the scalpel slips, the great surgeon does not say “Oops,” he says “There.”

  • The Lorax

    “Evolution is correct, and creationism is wrong.”

    Lookit everyone! I’m following rules! One mention of ‘evolution’ and one mention of ‘creationism’. So everything is okay now, right? 😀

  • jnorris

    Yes it is a joke, but, on the university’s web site one of the photos in the banner is a person building a house of cards. I think he’s in the Intelligent Design school.

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    I had no way of knowing.

    For future reference, Ed, the word “HUMOUR” in the byline can probably be considered a clue. Not to mention that the whole thing reads like a satire.

  • Rip Steakface

    You may want to edit your post, Ed, to say something like “UPDATE: A cursory look at the article reveals that it is in fact a satire. False alarm, everyone. That said, it’s still close enough to reality in the U.S. that you should be concerned.”

  • abacus2

    Since not everyone will read the comments or click the link to discover that this is a parody, perhaps an update at the end of the article could be posted by Mr. Brayton, to note this?

    Memorial is a well-established and fairly respected university in Canada, and it would be very unfortunate if anyone ending up thinking Memorial were actually creating a Creation Science department.

  • bigjohn756

    If this was really true then what would the graduates do for a living? Write for Acts & Facts maybe?

  • rahn

    Remember, Memorial University is in St, John’s, Newfoundland….. aka the end of the Internet! Also home to cod, Newfie Screech and the music groups Great Big Sea (which is Newfie slang for a tidal wave) and Buddy Wasisname and The Other Fellers. It’s in a province, lovingly refered to by the residents as “The Rock” with towns with names like Isle Aux Mort (Ile-a-Mort) as well as Joe Batt’s Arm and Dildo……

    This is one very big joke…. a quick perusal of MUN’s undergrad calendar shows that it’s a bunch of blarney…. which fits – most of the residents are decendents of Irish settlers.

    MUN is actually renown for its oceanography and marine technology programs.

  • Absolutely satire, right up there in quality with the Onion. I was just going to blog about this story myself, when I went to the actual Memorial University of Newfoundland website. Oops, not one announcement from the University itself. If this were a private religious university in Newfoundland, sure, I might believe it. But a secular public university (or what the Canadians call a comprehensive university) would never offer this program in the College of Science. I was suspicious when I read that the Faculty of Science was all right with it.

    If Ed were the only one to write this, we could pick on him. But others are too.

    Ed, you need to go to the original sources. Don’t stop at the first thing you read.

  • tomp

    “Had no way of knowing?” It took me less than 30 seconds to see that this was a joke article. It even says “Humour” in the start of the article. Perhaps the Canadian spelling threw you off? I then checked the MUN biology department website and found nothing about creationism… http://www.mun.ca/biology/ I think if you are going to make an accusation like this against a major university that spending a minute to make sure that what you are reading isn’t a joke is the least you can do. In any case, you owe a written apology (and not some comment hidden down here) to the university. Plus the beginning of the entry itself should be updated to say something like, “Because I am an asshole, I read a satire article and believed it. MUN has no creationism department.”

  • tomp

    I guess Ed just figured that those Newfies are just a bunch of brain dead drunken Irish living near the North Pole so this article must be true even though it isn’t mentioned anywhere else in the fucking universe. I expect public apologies not excuses.

  • MUN actually has a top rated biochemistry and marine biology departments. Unless the code of the Faculty of Science is “Nothing in Biology Makes Sense Except in the Light of Creation”, skepticism should be the go-to strategy.

    I guess not just congressmen get caught by good satire.

  • Pingback: Canadian university to offer antievolution degree program next year–not really()

  • Michael Heath

    tomp responds to Ed’s inadvertent error:

    “Had no way of knowing?” It took me less than 30 seconds to see that this was a joke article. It even says “Humour” in the start of the article. Perhaps the Canadian spelling threw you off? I then checked the MUN biology department website and found nothing about creationism…

    All publishers make mistakes, none have zero defects. This was both an inadvertent error and as a regular reader who demands honesty in what he reads, a very rare error by Ed; in spite of him not enjoying an editorial staff to help him proof his work. His record of quality and your reaction to this blog post strongly argues what you conclude is mere projection of your own qualities:

    “Because I am an asshole . . .

    I do agree Ed should update the body of this blog post. Which he’s done before in such cases.

  • tomp

    I am sorry but you are 100% wrong. If the article had said that MIT was going to start a creationism department I am sure Ed would have rejected it. But because it was a school up in Newfoundland that he never heard of he assumed that it was true. Ed even admitted that he had never read an article from that source: “I’d never come across that source before, so I had no way of knowing,” and yet he took what they wrote as true. Ed complains when right-wing sources do exactly what he just did. He has now lost his right to complain.

  • tomp

    I should also add that Ed knows that what he posted is wrong and libelous against a great school and has known that it was wrong since one hour after posting it. And yet 8 hours later his only writing on this is a small comment hidden away that says, “Duh! It’s not my fault.”