‘Coach’ Dave Wants to Go on Rachel Maddow Show

‘Coach’ Dave Wants to Go on Rachel Maddow Show March 6, 2017

Theocratic bigot and mindless simpleton “Coach” Dave Daubenmire says he wants to go on the Rachel Maddow show to put her in her place because he isn’t going to take advice from someone who doesn’t even know she should be loving men instead of women.

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“I am some old corn poke,” Daubenmire declared. “I’ll match my degrees with yours. I’d love to get on there with that man/woman/man on MSNBC—Maddow—I’d love to get on there with that dude.”

“Hey, Rachel, are you listening?” he continued. “I’m supposed to take advice from you and you don’t even know that you’re supposed to love a man? You don’t even have that figured out and yet you’re supposed to give me advice about the world? You’re telling me that you’re on MSNBC and you’re giving advice to the world and you don’t even know who you’re supposed to love? Are you kidding me? You don’t even know how plumbing works?”

“You gotta be kidding me, right?” Daubenmire asked, incredulously. “You’re the smart one and I’m the dumb one?”

Really, Dave? You wanna match degrees with Rachel Maddow? She has a grad degree from Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar. You’ve got a GED from Billy Bob’s Theology School and Bait Shop. You’d be so out of your depth you wouldn’t even see the sun trying to peek through.

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