With Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck both saying recently that they really don’t care whether gay marriage becomes a reality, Bryan Fischer is verklempt. He says Beck “has completely lost his marbles.” I don’t think Beck ever had any marbles. Neither has Fischer.
Bryan Fischer continued his lunatic ravings, saying that “we’re getting to the point where these homofascists are going to force us to wear on our sleeve some kind of identifying marker so people will know who the racists and the homophobes and the bigots are.” No Bryan. We know who you are because you proudly announce it. And the fact that no one has ever tried to stop you from doing so might be a clue that your persecution complex is moronic.
Bryan Fischer’s latest bit of stupid is to claim that every single claim in the Bible can be trusted because “every time we can cross-check the Bible’s record of history against external sources, it matches matches up every time.” Yeah. Except that whole global flood thing. And the age of the earth. And the stopping of the sun. And the resurrection of the saints. And…
Damn that Bryan Fischer. No matter how much we cover up the fact that we are all controlled by Satanic and demonic powers, he sees right through us. I’m afraid we may have to have Satan get rid of this guy once and for all. PZ can make that happen, right? He’s high-ranking enough, I think.
Bryan Fischer presented the primary argument in favor of theocracy on his radio show this week. It goes like this: Rights come from God and the Bible says God is against certain things. Therefore, no one has a right to do anything that is condemned in the Bible. I suggest Fischer be arrested the next time he eats shrimp.
Bryan Fischer is upset with Bobby Jindal for saying that the Republicans should “stop being the stupid party” because they’re not. And Todd Akin proves that because what he said about illegitimate rape was “completely accurate.”
Bryan Fischer makes utterly moronic arguments every day, but this one may take the cake. It seems that “Big Gay” will be responsible for reinstating the draft and sending your daughters to die in wars because the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell will deter so many straight men from joining the military.
It’s a familiar refrain from the Christian right. “If the nation doesn’t prevent you from doing (fill in the blank — abortion, homosexuality, teaching evolution) God is going to punish us by (fill in the blank — floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, terrorist attacks.” Here’s Bryan Fischer playing Mad Libs for wingnuts:
Bryan Fischer makes utterly false claims on his show every day. His latest is that evangelical Christians were the ones who ended slavery, saying, “It was faith that motivated the abolitionists.” Well yes, for many of them it was (but hardly all of them). But it was also faith that motivated the slaveholders and the secessionists of the South.
Bryan Fischer, noted climatologist and seismologist, says that natural disasters like earthquakes and hurricanes are sent by God to punish us the same way a parent spanks their child. Because punishing a specific person for doing something wrong is just like killing huge numbers of people with horrible calamities.
Bryan Fischer continues to deliver declarations from the bizarro world he lives in, where up is down and black is white. After Paul Ryan said he supported the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would forbid discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, Fischer says this would destroy religious liberty and bring back the Jim Crow laws.
Dispatches From the Culture Wars
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