{"id":194002,"date":"2016-04-07T10:02:27","date_gmt":"2016-04-07T14:02:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/dispatches\/?p=194002"},"modified":"2016-04-07T02:02:34","modified_gmt":"2016-04-07T06:02:34","slug":"bakker-use-my-food-buckets-as-furniture","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/dispatches\/2016\/04\/07\/bakker-use-my-food-buckets-as-furniture\/","title":{"rendered":"Bakker: Use My Food Buckets as Furniture"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Christian con man Jim Bakker is trying really, really hard to sell those buckets of terrible survival food he\u2019s been hawking. His latest sales pitch<\/a> is that you can use them as furniture in your living room until the apocalypse comes and you need to start choking down that vile slop.
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\n\"JimBakker550\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Today, Bakker told viewers that they can use the buckets to support furniture in their homes as they await the inevitable apocalypse \u2026 which may actually be more useful than attempting to cook and eat the products in the buckets when the end finally comes.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou could have your whole living room with end tables and coffee tables made out of food buckets,\u201d Bakker said. \u201cJust do it.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And after you finish one, you can cut out the bottom and use it as a basketball hoop! I don\u2019t know what\u2019s more ridiculous, Jim Bakker or the credulous dumbasses who fall for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cJim Bakker the evangelist spells his name with two Ks because three would have been too obvious.\u201d \u2014 Jeff Stilson<\/p>\n