In Guwahati, Assam a young girl, student of class 11th was publicly molested by men – young and old – in full view. They were ostensibly playing vigilantes and had access to a girl who wasn’t in her complete sense, so was easy target. In fact, she was completely disoriented! (Watch the video)
This incident has deservedly shook the nation. Specially from the feminists and those who believe Indian society as a whole is hypocritical and isn’t worth any reverence. I want to look at this entire issue from different angles.
One, there are two ways to look at the world:
(i) How the world should be, and (ii) How the world is?
The idealists keep arguing from the standpoint of (i), while the realists understand and admit (ii) and do something about it. Yes, it is right that women should be free and open to go and do what they want, and men shouldn’t touch women, without their consent. That is how it should be. But, do we find the “Ideal” world with “Made to Order” men and women or even kids ANYWHERE? If you and ONLY you had complete access to your kid and you wanted to mould your kid EXACTLY the way you wanted – ideal in every sense – are you sure he will turn out that way?
Forget others, ARE YOU IDEAL? Are you EXACTLY the Epitome of all the virtues that you promote? If not, then why mouth all those things, however genuine they may be. Let us face it – we are NOT (even in the US or in Norway or wherever) living in Ideal world. We never will be. So, let us get past this outrage born out of Idealism.
We couldn’t save this girl, but at least we will probably save other girls from molestation in future.
Second, the girl was a MINOR – just 15 for God’s sake! – and COMPLETELY DRUNK!! Does that bother anyone? Now, this is not a values matter but a legal matter. In US, she would be behind the bars and also the bar owner! If you or your parents don’t know what is good for you – alone at night outside the bar dead drunk at age 15, then you are inviting danger!
A realist would tell you that this girl was asking for trouble sooner or later.
And part of the blame for the molestation of this girl should be put squarely on the shoulders of the “Pink Chaddi” campaign people. They campaigned against an overzealous moral policing idiot by encouraging young girls to specially go to the pub on a specific day to .. DRINK! Many minors joined in that too.
That is the level of responsibility of campaigning that we have.
Why should they be blamed? Because drinking is now made out in India to be a “Cool” thing. Specially for the kids. School kids. The parents are relinquishing complete parental responsibility in the country. Its not that every young kid who drinks alcohol once will become an alcoholic, but the percentage is very high! And growing up to be an alcoholic is not the best way to be.
More importantly, Binge Drinking is on the rise amongst Teen Girls in India! And, if the pattern of drinking of girls vs men is to be seen in UK and US, one would find that binge drinking in girls is now more than boys!
Third, both the Molesters and the Molested in this case are products of the SAME so-called “Liberalized” society.
In India, we have a strange situation right now. Where Sunny Leone, a porn-star from US has become the latest Bollywood sensation. The searches on Google for Sunny Leone are in the “Breakaway” category. Every male kid these days knows about Sunny Leone and given her titillating posters and promos is hell bent on checking the internet out for who she is?
If she was a lonely phenomenon, that would have been ok, but the 2 other “Breakaway” searches on Google from India these days are for Poonam Pandey and Sherlyn Chopra. Poonam Pandey is the girl who shared a nude pic of her and openly announced that she would pose nude for the Indian Cricket team in the last World Cup.
Sherlyn Chopra, on the other hand, is the first Indian girl who will be on centerfold of Playboy.
Sunny Leone, Sherlyn Chopra and Poonam Pandey are media sensations. They are not tucked in some security enabled Porn site, but on the FRONT PAGE of Indian Newspaper sites. That is what the young men and women of India are reading day in and day out.
Both, the girl and the molesting men – are products of a permissive and mindless society that is being raised on unabashed consumerism. Not just benign consumerism, but one that feels no qualms in illegal and under-age drinking, open Porn display, and shameless show of wealth.
If the men had lost their civility then it is because they think Porn is mainstream. To the common male kid, woman is not Durga or Sita but Sunny Leone, Poonam Pandey and Sherlyn Chopra! So, when a woman is molested in today’s time and age, it is mischievous and utterly facetious of people to start invoking Durga and Sita, as this ostensibly outraged blogger does!
When you let the Porn becoming mainstream get a “Civility Pass” because “India is the land of Kamasutra”, and applaud the Pink Chaddi brigade for opening up the opportunity for young kids – specially UN-ESCORTED girls – to unbridled drinking in the name of Liberation and being anti-moral-policing, then don’t suddenly wake up from your permissive slumber when these “Societal Ingredients” create a deadly cocktail!
I don’t endorse blaming the victim for his/her molestation. It is obscene to do so. But when the entire society has led a young girl to a state where she is found unescorted, a minor, and dead drunk in a small town at night, then society does need to reflect on itself!
And, this is not the first time that this has happened. One search on “Desi Drunk Girls” and you would find girls drunk lying in the middle of the road in clothes which are revealing their body in ways they wouldn’t want to share with everyone.
Who is to blame for all that?
For the utterly Emotionally and Morally charged Indian crowd, it is very easy to start making assumptions on what I have written. So some further elaboration:
I Don’t give a Rat’s ass about Morality. My Entry point in this post is NOT Morality. In fact, I am convinced that Morality is a Pretense and the worst paradigm to run a society on. I have talked about it earlier and will do it later, this isn’t the place for that discussion. My entry point is to look the Indian society in the eye for what it is today and see if there are lessons that can help OTHER girls and save them from getting publicly molested.
A few things to reiterate:
- A MINOR girl engaged in Binge Drinking and going around in a small town UNESCORTED is a product of a sick and permissive society which thinks this is “Cool”.
- Molesters of this girl – fed on the staple of Porn-is-Mainstream diet think women are no more than “Porn Objects”. They ALSO are products of the same sick society!
I am saying the girl is a product of a sick society and NOT that she is sick minded. She doesn’t know any better at that age. The society is shoving her in harm’s way and then hoping somehow the components of this sick society will – rather should – suddenly turn angelic and Holy. It doesn’t happen that way.
To condone the girl’s state as normal and keep blaming the guys will NOT HELP other such girls who will still engage in Binge Drinking as minors!
Yes men shouldn’t do this.. yes, men should learn to handle their libido.. yes, women should be respected… but these are IDEAL conditions. To use them as your benchmark to chart out your own behavior is nonsensical!!
We can keep arguing about the morality and whatever else of the men in our society till cows come home.. and keep hitting ourselves and cry bucket full of tears.. but will it obviate another such incident???
If not, then you have to decide what is your priority? Safety of other girls (who could be victims in such situations – drunk or not) OR you prefer to keep discussing stuff and get some vicarious happiness from “at least I talk about it” syndrome!
That the girl was drunk is a large contributor to what happened. But Rapes in India don’t ONLY happen to Drunk women or girls. And that is where the discussion on “Porn-as-Mainstream” comes in. What does a Poonam Pandey, who offers to strip in nude for the entire Cricket team tell the youth of today, while the girls cheer it as liberated society – of course, because we are the “land of Kamasutra”? That, a nude and outraged girl is the new normal. It is perfectly ok to check the girl out completely, if you get a chance. You may not be a Dhoni to get a Nude Poonam Pandey dancing and prancing in front of you, but what the heck, if you get the chance with some hapless female. what’s the harm?
That is the message we are giving our youth with elevating Porn to mainstream viewership! And making it AS NORMAL AS NEWS!
Whether you want to understand or not, it will have its consequences. And, Morality is no help there.