{"id":908,"date":"2013-03-26T18:17:02","date_gmt":"2013-03-27T00:17:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/egregioustwaddle\/?p=908"},"modified":"2016-05-02T10:59:28","modified_gmt":"2016-05-02T16:59:28","slug":"angry-birds-biblical-a-modest-proposal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/egregioustwaddle\/2013\/03\/angry-birds-biblical-a-modest-proposal.html","title":{"rendered":"Angry Birds Biblical: A Modest Proposal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I am chewing on a couple of more serious and thoughtful posts, but in the mean time I can\u2019t resist wondering aloud why a critical marketing need isn\u2019t being met.<\/p>\n

After spending hours watching my 3-year-grandson level up through Angry Birds Original, Space, Seasons, Rio, and Star Wars (not to mention Bad Piggies) on his daddy\u2019s iPad, devouring endless EvanTubeHD<\/strong><\/a> videos in which a young boy with either something nasty on the toy manufacturers or the most overindulgent parents in the world opens and reviews every variation of Angry Birds toy ever made, and lining up said toys across my coffee table and naming each one reverently, I am left with two reactions:<\/p>\n

1. Whoever invented this stuff is fricking brilliant.<\/strong> Whether in an animated video game or with physical toys, Angry Birds takes what comes naturally to children (OK, to all of us)\u2014setting stuff up and knocking it down and setting it up again\u2014and gives it a backstory. The oldest backstory of all, actually: Good v Evil. In the world of Angry Birds, it\u2019s the birds who are good and the pigs who are evil. When I asked my grandson about the root of this enmity (\u201cWhy are the birds so angry?\u201d), he gave me the youngest version of a \u201cDuh!\u201d look I have ever seen, and answered, \u201cBecause the pigs keep taking their stuff<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Why in the name of Rovio and Hasbro has no one come up with Angry Birds Biblical?<\/strong><\/p>\n

It would seem to be a \u201cDuh!\u201d proposition, especially now that The History Channel\u2019s dramatized treatment of The Bible<\/em><\/strong><\/a> is pulling unprecedented ratings\u2014not to mention making my head spin like Linda Blair\u2019s when I hear \u201csneak peeks of this week\u2019s Bible episode, featuring the birth of Jesus!\u201d promoted on Entertainment Tonight<\/em> and Access Hollywood<\/em> in between news of Kim Kardashian\u2019s Vampire Facelift<\/strong><\/a> and Michelle Obama\u2019s latest \u201csurprise\u201d media appearance (was I the only one expecting to see her walk out between those red-velvet Vatican drapes a couple of weeks ago and announce \u201cHabemus papam\u201d<\/em>?), and with exactly the same level of PR gush.<\/p>\n

If the Easter Bunny is going to be filling my grandson\u2019s basket with Angry Birds toys anyway, wouldn\u2019t it be great if they could be Bible-based characters and scenarios? I mean, what do the Angry Birds use to launch themselves against the Bad Piggies, after all, but a tricked-out version of David\u2019s shepherd-boy slingshot? And the Angry Birds toys, despite their high price and supposed diversity of plotlines, all feature the same neutral-colored blocks in a 4-pillars-and-an-arch construction module that could as easily grace the Holy Land-scape as Hoth or Tatooine.<\/p>\n

The Bible is full of scenes and characters that would fit easily into the Angry Birds format. (And there\u2019s the added fillip that Levitically-speaking, swine are Bad Piggies indeed.) Can\u2019t you see it? David Yellow Bird (tiny but mighty) against giant Goliath Pig? Jesus Blue Bird (whose Trinitarian nature is revealed in the Blue Bird\u2019s three-in-oneness) driving a legion of Demon Piggies over a Gerasene cliff? Joshua Black Bomb Bird leading his armies to topple a Jenga Piggy Jericho, with extra points for rescuing Exclusive Pink Bird Rahab before the walls come tumbling down? Judith Green Bird neatly decapitating General Holofernes Pig (not so gory, since the pigs are all head anyway) before boomeranging back to the Israelite city? St Michael the Super Red Bird Archangel defeating the Seven-Headed Pig Beast (Revelation set comes complete with Four Piggy Horsemen of the Apocalypse and a Piggy Ho of Babylon)?<\/p>\n

When I shared my enthusiasm with my son, he had his doubts. \u201cDoesn\u2019t the Bible teach peace?\u201d he asked. (35 years of Bad Catechesis began at home, apparently. . .) \u201cPeople might be offended by associating religion with all this violence.\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh, son. Even if it were not true that \u201cthe kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent bear it away\u201d (Matthew 11:12)<\/em>, you take the Gospel to where people are. And no preschooler has ever been a pacifist. Jesus himself said (sorta), \u201cI did not come to bring peace, but a slingshot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey could call them\u00a0Righteously<\/em> Angry Birds,\u201d I replied.<\/p>\n

The more I think about it (and put off thinking about those chewy and challenging other posts), the more I\u2019m convinced this could be exactly what The New Evangelization is looking for. It could end the rivalry<\/strong><\/a> for #1 between the two most frequently downloaded apps, Angry Birds and the Bible, by combining them, like Reese\u2019s Peanut Butter Cups of catechesis. It could give overindulgent grandparents like me a chance to slip a little Scriptural nutrition into the Christmas and Easter (not to mention Hanukkah and Purim) festivities, like putting vegetables in cupcakes.<\/p>\n

From my mouth to Hasbro\u2019s ear.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 I am chewing on a couple of more serious and thoughtful posts, but in the mean time I can\u2019t resist wondering aloud why a critical marketing need isn\u2019t being met. After spending hours watching my 3-year-grandson level up through Angry Birds Original, Space, Seasons, Rio, and Star Wars (not to mention Bad Piggies) on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1086,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39,292],"tags":[293,294,295,76],"class_list":["post-908","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-new-evangelization","category-pop-culture","tag-angry-birds","tag-bible","tag-catechesis","tag-evangelization"],"yoast_head":"\nAngry Birds Biblical: A Modest Proposal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"  I am chewing on a couple of more serious and thoughtful posts, but in the mean time I can't resist wondering aloud why a critical marketing need\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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