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Hamlet is one type of boyfriend to be avoided at all costs. Dads cannot control their daughter\u2019s lives, but if either of my daughters met Hamlet, I would have a strong opinion about the relationship. I sympathize with the poor lad and his horrid family background, but a relationship is not cheap therapy. Does Hamlet have potential? Sure he does and my advice would be that when he finally actualizes that potential he should give one the girls a call.<\/p>\n
As he is presented in the play, the morose Hamlet is a relational disaster. Things end badly for Ophelia, and that is predictable. I wish I could say that the problems are all because Hamlet has a murderer for an uncle, a controlling mother, and a bad education. They are not. Ophelia has (somehow) been educated to put up with Hamlet and this is not just because she lived long ago in a Denmark far away.<\/p>\n
I have met Ophelia and her sisters and though the ending has yet to be as tragic (thanks be to God!), these women have known unnecessary suffering.\u00a0Don\u2019t get into an erotic relationship with Hamlet.\u00a0<\/em>What are the warning signs? Beyond wearing all black and staring at skulls meditatively? I can think of five.<\/p>\n He is not that into marriage or is off and on about loving you.<\/em><\/p>\n Read what Ophelia\u2019s brother says:<\/p>\n Laertes<\/a>. <\/strong>For Hamlet, and the trifling of his favour, When people say this, they are generally right. When a man loves a woman, everyone knows.<\/p>\n He has a bad relationship with his parents . . . really bad and hasn\u2019t dealt with it yet.<\/em><\/p>\n Don\u2019t become the substitute for his issues with Mother. Make Hamlet deal with the old Queen without you in the mix or you will discover that someday you are the old Queen. As for the unresolved death of his father, make Hamlet decide his course of action before getting into his life. Of course, most guys are not in so tough a place, but that can make it harder to notice.<\/p>\n Does he hate his parents? He may have good reasons for doing so, but make sure that he is working on those issues and has made great progress or you may find that you are involved with a guy who is unable to love.<\/p>\n He shouts at you and calls you bad names.<\/em><\/p>\n The moment Ophelia can report Hamlet has been \u2018mad\u2019 and physical with her, it is time to go:<\/p>\n Ophelia<\/a>. <\/strong>My lord, as I was sewing in my closet, Polonius<\/a>. <\/strong>Mad for thy love?<\/p>\n Ophelia<\/a>. <\/strong>My lord, I do not know, Polonius<\/a>. <\/strong>What said he?1045<\/span><\/p>\n Ophelia<\/a>. <\/strong>He took me by the wrist and held me hard; Abuse is not love: ever. Even married abuse should lead (at least) to separation and a long time of repentance, healing, and rebuilding of trust. If the relationship is just starting, then flee.\u00a0Of course, Ophelia is surrounded by fools who refuse to help her and so her case is particularly bad. If your parents are idiots like Polonius, find a teacher, pastor, or friend who is not a fool and can help.\u00a0Never accept physical or mental abuse as deserved.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n He would rather talk about himself and his problems (usually to himself) than about you or you two or any other subject humans have conceived.<\/em><\/p>\n Hamlet is a troubled soul and he talks about his troubles . . . a great deal. He talks to himself about his troubles more often than he talks to Ophelia about anything. If that is you, then you are in trouble due to his troubles. Get out.<\/p>\n He is constantly manic or morose.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Again, you might choose to marry someone and they develop mental health issues. That is hard and God can give the grace to keep the vows of marriage, but before dating someone with Hamlet\u2019s personality, count the cost. Ask: \u201cAre these biological issues or is Hamlet a bad person?\u201d Even after determining whether he is ill or wicked (and they are not the same at all), you still must ask: \u201cCan I take it? Do I wish to take it?\u201d You can choose. Do so.<\/p>\n You can love someone and not be the person to marry them.<\/p>\n Hamlet is not really mentally ill (so far as we can tell), but unable to deal with his life in good ways. He is choosing . . . unwisely and Ophelia\u00a0should<\/em> leave. There is never a good reason to empower someone\u2019s sin.<\/p>\n Ophelia needs to leave Elsinore, not leave this life. She is one of the sanest people in the play and her death the greatest tragedy. Be strong and leave, Ophelia. Flee.<\/p>\n As for the Hamlets out there: If you recognize yourself in this piece, stop. Think about what you are doing. Get help, but don\u2019t mix romance into the help you need. Stop hurting the people you love to get out of your immediate problems. Don\u2019t kill Ophelia through your abuse.<\/p>\n Really.<\/p>\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n William Shakespeare went to God four hundred years ago. To recollect his death, I am writing a personal reflection on a few of his plays.\u00a0The Winter\u2019s Tale\u00a0<\/a><\/em>started things off, followed by\u00a0As You Like It<\/a>. Romeo and Juliet<\/a>\u00a0<\/em>still matter,\u00a0Lady Macbeth<\/a> rebukes the lust for power, and Henry V<\/a> is a hero. Richard II <\/a>shows us not to presume on the grace of God or rebel against authority too easily.\u00a0Coriolanus<\/a>\u00a0<\/em>reminds us that our leaders need integrity and humility. Our life can be joyful if we realize that it is, at best,\u00a0A Comedy of Errors.<\/a>\u00a0 Hamlet<\/a><\/em> needs to know himself better and talks to himself less. He is stuck with himself<\/a> so he had better make his peace with God quickly and should stay far away from Ophelia<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hamlet is one type of boyfriend to be avoided at all costs. Dads cannot control their daughter\u2019s lives, but if either of my daughters met Hamlet, I would have a strong opinion about the relationship. I sympathize with the poor lad and his horrid family background, but a relationship is not cheap therapy. Does Hamlet […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1007,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture","category-on-books"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nHold it a fashion, and a toy in blood;
\nA violet in the youth of primy nature,
\nForward, not permanent- sweet, not lasting; 490<\/span>
\nThe perfume and suppliance of a minute;
\nNo more.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nLord Hamlet, with his doublet all unbrac\u2019d, 1035<\/span>
\nNo hat upon his head, his stockings foul\u2019d,
\nUngart\u2019red, and down-gyved to his ankle;
\nPale as his shirt, his knees knocking each other,
\nAnd with a look so piteous in purport
\nAs if he had been loosed out of hell 1040<\/span>
\nTo speak of horrors- he comes before me.<\/p>\n
\nBut truly I do fear it.<\/p>\n
\nThen goes he to the length of all his arm,
\nAnd, with his other hand thus o\u2019er his brow,
\nHe falls to such perusal of my face
\nAs he would draw it. Long stay\u2019d he so. 1050<\/span>
\nAt last, a little shaking of mine arm,
\nAnd thrice his head thus waving up and down,
\nHe rais\u2019d a sigh so piteous and profound
\nAs it did seem to shatter all his bulk
\nAnd end his being. That done, he lets me go, 1055<\/span>
\nAnd with his head over his shoulder turn\u2019d
\nHe seem\u2019d to find his way without his eyes,
\nFor out o\u2019 doors he went without their help
\nAnd to the last bended their light on me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n