\u2026The first option, the win-the-lotto option, was jam a coat hanger down in the grease trap and see if it\u2019s a plastic bag blocking it or something. (One time I found some sorry asshole\u2019s underwear in a situation like that, but that\u2019s a different story.) But it wasn\u2019t. And it was now three minutes later and the restaurant wasn\u2019t any less packed and there was shit water creeping up, so I did what you do if you want to go around calling yourself a chef: I took my shirt off and my friend and cook Alex held me by the ankles as I descended into the grease trap with the top half of my body.<\/p>\n
My eyes were closed, and my mouth was closed. It was just muck. Fecal, bilious muck. And I put my hand in the drain and I pulled out who knows what\u2014fucking pasta and flour and a nut of shit. I dug it out and heard the sucking sound of the trap emptying itself out and Alex pulled me out.<\/p>\n
It was just like being covered in rotting corpse oil. It\u2019s in your eyes and your mouth and your ears, and it doesn\u2019t come off with just soap. I had to wash down as quick as possible, as best I could, and get back to cooking because the dining room\u2019s full and that\u2019s my fucking job. You\u2019re thinking about how nice your duck is and I\u2019m thinking about the shit that\u2019s still down there deep in my ears.<\/p>\n
The thing is: It\u2019s not a command you can pass off; it\u2019s an unpassable command. You can\u2019t tell somebody to do an emergency cleaning of a grease trap. It\u2019s inhuman. So you have to swallow your pride and forget about all the clothes and boots that you\u2019re wearing and about smelling good for the next three days even if you scrub with a brush. You\u2019re gonna smell like vomit. Congratulations, you wanted to be a chef.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
more<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"life lessons: \u2026The first option, the win-the-lotto option, was jam a coat hanger down in the grease trap and see if it\u2019s a plastic bag blocking it or something. (One time I found some sorry asshole\u2019s underwear in a situation like that, but that\u2019s a different story.) But it wasn\u2019t. And it was now three […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1071,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[72,70,133],"class_list":["post-10220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-in-the-flesh","tag-kitchen-adventures","tag-mask-of-command"],"yoast_head":"\n
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