{"id":10924,"date":"2017-10-25T11:49:27","date_gmt":"2017-10-25T15:49:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?p=10924"},"modified":"2017-10-25T14:36:21","modified_gmt":"2017-10-25T18:36:21","slug":"alain-de-botton-marrying-wrong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2017\/10\/alain-de-botton-marrying-wrong.html","title":{"rendered":"Alain de Botton on Marrying Wrong"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

via a married friend who says almost all of this resonates!<\/p>\n

\u2026ADB<\/strong>: And so we go into marriage unable to convey that knowledge to a partner. We don\u2019t understand them. They don\u2019t understand us. We don\u2019t understand what marriage is. Let\u2019s stress that.<\/p>\n

\n

Ira Glass<\/h4>\n
So what would you say to all the people getting married this month? What would you tell them?<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
\n
\n

Alain De Botton<\/h4>\n
Be incredibly forgiving for the weird behavior that\u2019s going to start coming out. You will be very unhappy in lots of ways. Your partner will fail to understand you.<\/div>\n
If you\u2019re understood in maybe, I don\u2019t know, 60% of your soul by your partner, that\u2019s fantastic. Don\u2019t expect that it\u2019s going to be 100%. Of course you will be lonely.<\/div>\n
You will often be in despair. You will sometimes think it\u2019s the worst decision in your life. That\u2019s fine. That\u2019s not a sign your marriage has gone wrong.<\/div>\n
It\u2019s a sign that it\u2019s normal, it\u2019s on track. And many of the hopes that took you into the marriage will have to die in order for the marriage to continue. That some of the headiness and expectations will have to die.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
more<\/a>\u2013and not to be That Guy, but imo a lot of this is also true of any vocation where you commit to living with someone for life: monastic life, covenant friendship, celibate partnership.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

via a married friend who says almost all of this resonates! \u2026ADB: And so we go into marriage unable to convey that knowledge to a partner. We don\u2019t understand them. They don\u2019t understand us. We don\u2019t understand what marriage is. Let\u2019s stress that. Ira Glass So what would you say to all the people getting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1071,"featured_media":10927,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[34,29,28,27],"class_list":["post-10924","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-humiliation","tag-marriage-2","tag-the-sacrifices-god-wants-arent-always-the-sacrifices-you-want-to-make","tag-vocation"],"yoast_head":"\nAlain de Botton on Marrying Wrong<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"via a married friend who says almost all of this resonates! ...ADB: And so we go into marriage unable to convey that knowledge to a partner. 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