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{"id":11007,"date":"2018-01-07T19:32:32","date_gmt":"2018-01-07T23:32:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?p=11007"},"modified":"2018-01-07T19:32:32","modified_gmt":"2018-01-07T23:32:32","slug":"great-drowned-atlantis-90s","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2018\/01\/great-drowned-atlantis-90s.html","title":{"rendered":"That Great Drowned Atlantis, The ’90s"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

As you can tell from all that, I have reached the early- to mid-\u201990s in this ridiculous indulgence of my intense sweet tooth for the past. So last week I re-read as many issues as I could find of the zine I did with my best friend ca. 1992 \u2013 1996. Things I noticed:<\/p>\n

# I always say the Youth of Today don\u2019t remember what the 1990s were like, and I usually mean the homicide rate<\/a> but I do sometimes mean AIDS. It turns out that I too underremember just how inescapably everywhere AIDS was, if you were gay. I was in high school & quite privileged, so my experiences of the epidemic were far-removed: I mention in Gay & Catholic<\/em> the guy in the sexual minority youth group I attended, who was maybe five years older than me and talked about nursing his lover through his last days. I was not at all in the real crucible and in a way, that\u2019s my point: Even for people who were completely spared personal loss, if you read the gay newspaper or hung out at the gay bookstore or basically knew even slightly older gay people, you were surrounded by stories of death and hospice caregiving by people in their twenties and thirties.<\/p>\n

My perspective, and the slice of my life that appeared in the zine, is probably skewed by the fact that I was an artsy teen obsessed with finding precedents and models for my life. E.g. my best friend and I taped up memorial posters all over our school when Derek Jarman died, and I am not exactly under the impression that the modal gay teen of 1994 USA would know or care about that. But I was just sort of listening to whatever music we yapped about in the zine and I decided to hit up some Diamanda Galas, and this played<\/a>, and I remembered what it was like to be spared in a world where so many people around you were going through that specific desolation. Dying at once isolated and surrounded.<\/p>\n

# Musical interlude: Why isn\u2019t there more Severed Heads<\/a> on YouTube? Lol this video.<\/p>\n

# Speaking of AIDS caregivers and how you didn\u2019t escape the experience of an epidemic by being lesbian<\/a>, Rebecca Brown! In an earlier phase of this same Time Travel Rosary project, I re-read her short story collection, The Terrible Girls<\/em>, and told you all how much I still love it<\/a>. In these zines I got to read my own high-school fiction (HUMILITY) and I did laugh at just how quickly and completely I took to that \u201990s \u201cdark fairy tale\u201d vibe. Like a duck to ducks, as Quentin Crisp would say. Rebecca Brown, Angela Carter, those Ellen Datlow & Terri Windling collections, that stuff is all over my juvenilia. Oddly enough, I was never able to develop it. With some rare exceptions<\/a>, I didn\u2019t start writing fiction I\u2019d stand behind today<\/a> until I started writing non-f\/sf comedy.<\/p>\n

The things I wrote obsessively about then & still hit up today: ecstasy (escape from self), \u201cthe things you long for will consume you\u201d (it\u2019s almost as if I knew!), hot women and the damaged chicks who like to be mistreated by them. My only genuinely good lines were about humiliation and helplessness. I guess it is easy to write well about the desire for those things\u2013people don\u2019t expect it, you can catch them off guard.<\/p>\n

# Musical interlude: Speaking of darkly gleaming horror-fantasy tales<\/a>\u2026. (And speaking of Rebecca Brown, given the Lady Dr. Frankenstein elements of The Terrible Girls<\/em>.) Ahhhh this thing is so glorious.<\/p>\n

# I get very meta-Pharisaical<\/a> about (again) the Youth of Today, and how yes, we were sexual amoralists and we were all about drinking and drugs but at least we weren\u2019t self-righteous!<\/em> It turns out, we were pretty self-righteous.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"