{"id":11751,"date":"2018-11-14T21:06:39","date_gmt":"2018-11-15T01:06:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?p=11751"},"modified":"2018-11-15T22:32:32","modified_gmt":"2018-11-16T02:32:32","slug":"plots-fall-everyone-dies-revisiting-harry-potter-for-no-real-reason","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2018\/11\/plots-fall-everyone-dies-revisiting-harry-potter-for-no-real-reason.html","title":{"rendered":"Plots Fall, Everyone Dies: Revisiting “Harry Potter” for No Real Reason"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Well, the reason is my whole time-travel rosary thing, which I\u2019m still doing (and will post about when I catch up with the present day, which should be early 2019). So I have been reading fanfiction and old LiveJournal posts, and while I did not reread the books because life is much too short, I did rewatch all the Harry Potter movies. Extremely scattered and pointless notes follow. BTW I still really like a lot of pogrebin\u2019s fanfic\u2013I like her sideways<\/a> readings, I like her pointillism even when it\u2019s too clever by half, I like her recurring obsessions (shedding<\/a> skin, dangerous books). I like that anti-porn porn story<\/a>, the one about porn as human fungibility as death (Karl Barth says, \u201cCoitus without co-existence is demonic\u201d), although keep in mind, before you click, that I did tell you it\u2019s a porn story.<\/p>\n

So, the movies. Will this post have a point? Let\u2019s find out!<\/p>\n

Harry Potter and the Concession to Hollywood\u2019s Belief that Americans Are Stupid Stone<\/strong><\/em>: I enjoyed this more than I was expecting! The wonder of discovery comes through. I love<\/em> Hermione in this film and I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll love her again at any point in the series. Her flaws are treated as real flaws by both the narrative and the people around her (\u201cYou\u2019ve got dirt, on your nose. Just there\u201d), and so she\u2019s adorable, like real awful children.<\/p>\n

Rowling\u2019s gross-out humor appears here with the troll bogeys, but thank God, it mostly vanishes for the rest of the series; the movies don\u2019t inflict idiocies like Ginny\u2019s bat bogey hex on us. It\u2019s fine in this film because it\u2019s so decisively a children\u2019s movie, about children. And because it doesn\u2019t happen too often, and isn\u2019t the only or prevalent kind of humor. A little trollsnot goes a very long way.<\/p>\n

I love the Harry Potter<\/em> theme.<\/p>\n

Chamber of Secrets<\/strong><\/em>: Sistermagpie<\/a> made a lot of fun points, back in the day, and one of her things was the idea that the books are keyed to the various houses. This is of course a Slytherin book. And there\u2019s a startling amount of traditional female imagery\u2013the girls\u2019 bathroom, the chamber itself!, all the water. These are the yonic images (?) to match all the snakes.<\/p>\n

This is also the most horrifying HP<\/em> chapter, for me, the one most embedded in the horror genre. HER SKELETON WILL LIE IN THE CHAMBER FOREVER. And I love the book-as-murderer, I\u2019m always down for a good reminder that we should fear what we read. Unfortunately I felt like the movie dragged. It\u2019s good that we had Kenneth Branagh\u2019s terrific Lockhart to lighten the mood.<\/p>\n

Poor Filch. Everything about how Filch (and Muggles) are treated is so creepy\u2013the series genuinely dehumanizes them, as does its society. One of the things which disturbed me about HP<\/em> the whole way through is that it never actually made the transition from the children\u2019s-lit, Roald Dahl thing where the villains are cartoons whose suffering doesn\u2019t matter, to a perspective where everyone\u2019s suffering mattered. It kept telling us it was a series about equality but kept not actually being that.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, in this book the theme Rowling handles best really starts to emerge. She is<\/em> Moaning Myrtle, \u201csitting in [her] U-bend, thinking about death,\u201d and I love it, I love that she made death such an insistent theme and<\/em> that she parodied herself doing it. Honestly Moaning Myrtle might be my favorite of the female characters.<\/p>\n

Prisoner of Azkaban<\/strong><\/em>: So much fun! So great to look at! The music in this one is loads better than in all the others, and the imagery is spookier, more memorable\u2013the Whomping Willow snatching birds out of the sky, or shaking its leaves off to signal the arrival of wintertime. This is the only one of these movies I own and there are so many great comfort-watch moments, like the bit on the first night back at school when they\u2019re eating the candies that make them lions and trains and whatnot. There\u2019s a joy and weirdness in this film which none of the others attain.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately this is also where the narrative starts cosseting Hermione for her flaws, and making her a generic pink action heroine, while leaching Ron\u2019s intelligence. This is where I start disliking Hermione and I don\u2019t return to tolerating her until maybe the sixth or seventh film.<\/p>\n

I LOVE TRELAWNEY.<\/p>\n

This is the first definitely Gryffindor film, by SisterM\u2019s reckoning. Never forget, the golden boy of \u201cthe Marauders\u201d almost made one of his best friends a killer and nobody except the near-victim really cared. I always used to enjoy fanfiction that played on those four boys\u2019 understandable reasons to mistrust one another. I love stories about friendship groups brought together by the same weaknesses which will eventually destroy them.<\/p>\n

If Remus is a gay allegory it sort of would be nice if he hadn\u2019t almost killed some students by gaying out at them. (I know, I know, that\u2019s an oversimplification, I\u2019m more responding to dumb readings of the movie than to the movie itself.)<\/p>\n

Enjoy the portraits moving in this film because they basically never do anything interesting again.<\/p>\n

Goblet of Fire<\/strong><\/em>: This is where I noticed something I\u2019m sure you all already know, which is how good Rowling is at timing her payoffs. I love how she punctuates the series with payoffs, so some things pay off within the same book where they\u2019re set up while other guns don\u2019t fire until much later. Like here, the portkey is introduced at the beginning and pays off at the end, boom, done, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s ever really important again (?). Whereas Rita Skeeter is introduced, and you think she\u2019s served her purpose by the end\u2013but no! She comes back and plays a totally unexpected role in the themes and character points of the final book! And Polyjuice Potion came up in book 2, and you thought you were done with it once it had played a role in Hermione\u2019s scheme there, but here it is again, the jack-in-the-box springing horribly out at you. Great stuff. Ollivander\u2019s story starts in Book 1, where he\u2019s part of our fun introduction to the world; then he\u2019s among those kidnapped by Death Eaters in book\u2026 five? six?, but his kidnapping is hidden among other people\u2019s suffering so we don\u2019t realize until the final book that it was really the crucial one, that he was a specific target. As someone who can\u2019t plot my way out of a paper bag, I\u2019m trying to learn from the experience of watching these films how to set up what I\u2019ll need to pay off later, because Rowling does it so well. (With certain caveats, below.)<\/p>\n

This is the Hufflepuff book. SisterM makes the great point that it\u2019s structured around a competition but the point is not to win, but to cooperate.<\/p>\n

I was grossed out by Myrtle\u2019s perversity when I first watched this but this time around it just made me laugh. Have I loosened up, or degenerated?<\/p>\n

Order of the Phoenix<\/strong><\/em>: I started doing my Russian homework while this movie was trundling ponderously along. The Ravenclaw book. I did enjoy Luna a lot more this time around. I might like her slightly more than Moaning Myrtle, idk. Wish we\u2019d seen the Hermione vs. Luna antagonism we got in the book.<\/p>\n

Half-Blood Prince<\/strong><\/em>: Another Slytherin book! More girls\u2019 bathroom, more blood and tears and overflowing water, caves and lakes and deadly drinks and love potions, lol Slytherin is so emotional. [ETA: Also, another dangerous book!] I wish we\u2019d gotten to see the bit where Myrtle gushes about poor sensitive sobbing Draco, but this was still fun, sad, spooky.<\/p>\n

It also sets Draco up to make some kind of decision\u2013it suggests that his prominence throughout the narrative has always been intentional, that his storyline is leading somewhere important. Stick a pin in that, we\u2019ll get back to it.<\/p>\n

Deathly Hallows, pt 1<\/strong><\/em>: I\u2019ll never understand Hermione\u2019s erasing her parents\u2019 memories. It\u2019s such a shocking and horrifying violation\u2013it crosses a line for me, honestly, and the narrative treats it like \u201cohhh war makes for hard choices\u201d when it seems less like a \u201chard choice\u201d and more like a deeply evil action. (None of this is about Hermione\u2019s own motives and emotions, which are understandable, but there are some things you don\u2019t ever get to do to another human being. Let alone your personal parents.<\/em>)<\/p>\n

I do wish we\u2019d seen that awkward little moment with Dudley and the teacup. I liked that Dudley wasn\u2019t totally controlled by his Roald Dahl caricature upbringing. And I liked his actor in the films.<\/p>\n

When I read the book of this I was like the only person who enjoyed the endless camping, but I admit it doesn\u2019t work on film. Also hey it\u2019s Harry Potter and the Endless Fetch Quests.<\/em> That said, I thought the added bit where Harry and Hermione dance together worked startlingly well\u2013it doesn\u2019t feel romantic, it feels exhausted and confused. They\u2019re consoling each other and finding a bit of happiness in the midst of terror and failure. I loved it; and I loved, of course, Ron\u2019s return. I love Ron, in general. (The other Gryffindors can go whistle.)<\/p>\n

The story of the three brothers is even more hauntingly beautiful than I remembered.<\/p>\n

Deathly Hallows, pt 2<\/strong><\/em>: (deep breath) Everybody cares about different things in this giant sprawling world (this skeleton playground), and I know lots of people felt utterly satisfied. For me, Harry\u2019s acceptance of his own death was more piercing in the book than in the movie. Somehow seeing the spirits of the dead made them feel less real; and am I making this up, or does the film change \u201cI am about to die\u201d to the less-poignant \u201cI am ready to die\u201d? But here are three things I think it was fair to expect, which we never got; and one thing I wish we hadn\u2019t gotten.<\/p>\n

First, if the books are keyed to houses, I think we\u2019d been led to expect that this would be the book where all four come together. Lulz. (Slughorn doesn\u2019t count; Slughorn never counts.) Throughout the series Slytherin switches around from being the ambitious house, to the racist house, to the house of people conditioned by their upbringing into racism (which is different), to the cackling evil house (why do you have a cackling evil house???). Some of these houses could play an interesting role in the finale but we ended up with the racist cackling evil house, oh well. I don\u2019t think any of the other non-Gryffindor houses get that<\/em> much to do either\u2013some of the horcruxes are keyed to them but I don\u2019t think the destruction of the horcruxes (horcruces?) is.<\/p>\n

Second, I cordially dislike Ginny as a person, but her story in CoS<\/em> was heartbreaking and it never really got explored. She occasionally mentions that she shares with Harry an intimate knowledge of Voldemort. She knows what Harry knows, she shares some of his complicity, some of his unwanted and yet troubling and seductive connection to the Dark Lord. Why didn\u2019t this matter to their relationship?! If you have a character who knows evil in the same intimate way as the hero, who is also the hero\u2019s love interest, their mutual knowledge of and rejection of evil should be fundamental to their love relationship. Come on<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Third, it turns out that Draco\u2019s big moment was\u2026 the revelation that he isn\u2019t ever going to make a choice, but just get spinelessly tugged around and then fade into the background. Draco acts like a character set up for a dramatic change, but people don\u2019t change their objects of love in this universe, and he loved his family, so he just sort of got blown around by the plotwinds and tried to stick close to them. What was the point of that, other than the creepy, depressing \u201cpeople don\u2019t change\u201d?<\/p>\n

And finally. Dumbledore revises his, \u201cHelp will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it,\u201d to, \u201cHelp will always be given at Hogwarts to those who deserve<\/em> it.\u201d He goes out of his way to say the more-Christian version is not right and the utterly un-Christian, terrifying, counsel-of-despair version is correct. This is the worst thing that happens in any of the movies.<\/p>\n

Also, I would have liked to see Voldemort wearing Nagini as a halo, it\u2019s such a damaged diva move. But I\u2019m guessing they couldn\u2019t quite keep it from looking silly.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, the reason is my whole time-travel rosary thing, which I\u2019m still doing (and will post about when I catch up with the present day, which should be early 2019). So I have been reading fanfiction and old LiveJournal posts, and while I did not reread the books because life is much too short, I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1071,"featured_media":11796,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[1389,1386,122,299],"class_list":["post-11751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-art","tag-fanfiction","tag-harry-potter","tag-totentanz","tag-use-each-man-after-his-desert-and-who-shall-scape-whipping"],"yoast_head":"\nPlots Fall, Everyone Dies: Revisiting "Harry Potter" for No Real Reason<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Well, the reason is my whole time-travel rosary thing, which I'm still doing (and will post about when I catch up with the present day, which should be\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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