\u2026All of this means it\u2019s the ideal occasion for the \u201cLong Road\u201d speech. As in, it\u2019s a long road we\u2019re traveling, people. As parents cheering from the sidelines we can\u2019t help but want our kids to succeed at everything they do, on every outing. We understand that real progress is often a barely perceptible crawl, and that what we really want for our kids is long term success in life, not in a silly sporting event. But still, we secretly hope for success every time. Wouldn\u2019t it be easier to just have the good days and put off the agony of defeat indefinitely, or at least until adulthood?<\/p>\n
I can say from experience that the fantasy of child stardom is not all its cracked up to be. The pros are, of course, an early sniff of glory and an instant endorphin hit of success. Up into my early teens I won every ski race I entered. I fell and got up, and won. My boots got stolen from the car so I borrowed a friend\u2019s mother\u2019s boots, and won. A big kid in ski boots stepped on my bare toes and broke them the day before a race, and the next day I won. You get the picture. Yay me.<\/p>\n
But then one day, I didn\u2019t win. And I kept not winning, like it was my new job, until it felt my world had crumbled. I had three close friends who resided solidly in my rear view mirror during my young days of untrammeled fabulousness. All three of them scooted past me and made their ways on to the US Ski Team while I ground my gears. They were teaching me the lesson I had taught them long ago\u2014that sooner or later you\u2019ll get your butt kicked, so you\u2019d better know how to deal with it. I did not appreciate the lesson. \u2026<\/p>\n
Not that true success has anything to do with \u201cmaking it\u201d in a sport or not. There is no \u201cit\u201d, no achievement that confers success on you. It really is all about finding what matters to you and going after it with all you\u2019ve got. How often do we get to do that?<\/p>\n
The long-term view is a very tough perspective for a young person to have. One kid going through an exceptionally frustrating bout of character building summed it to his parents as follows: \u201cI know that this is making me a better person. But right now it sort of sucks.\u201d<\/p>\n
He\u2019s right. And there\u2019s no way around it. Dwelling on disappointment is neither healthy nor productive, but disappointment in itself isn\u2019t such a bad thing. It means you have some skin in the game. Coaches and parents may seem to be discrediting the right to be disappointed, and diluting the value of a competitive spirit with default comments like \u201cjust have fun,\u201d and \u201ckeep smiling.\u201d I still cringe a bit when I interpret those words as admonishments. But as a quasi grown up, I get the broader intent, the reminder to keep your eye on the bigger prize, on enjoying the process. Enjoy the things you get from having the dream, making the effort and going out each day with a goal to get just a little better.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
more<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"IT\u2019S A LONG ROAD FOR A BOX OF CHOCOLATES: Words from a champion\u2026 skier? Possibly a skier. I don\u2019t sport. \u2026All of this means it\u2019s the ideal occasion for the \u201cLong Road\u201d speech. As in, it\u2019s a long road we\u2019re traveling, people. As parents cheering from the sidelines we can\u2019t help but want our kids […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1071,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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