{"id":12112,"date":"2019-02-14T12:25:13","date_gmt":"2019-02-14T16:25:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?p=12112"},"modified":"2019-02-14T13:38:46","modified_gmt":"2019-02-14T17:38:46","slug":"the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html","title":{"rendered":"“The Conjuring” Is a Perfect Valentine’s Day Movie…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026mostly for bad reasons. Spoilers below.<\/p>\n

The Conjuring<\/em>, from Saw<\/em> perpetrator James Wan, tells the story of two families: the Perrons, mom & dad plus five totally adorable daughters, and the Warrens, Ed and Lorraine and what Scripture would call their one ewe lamb. The Perrons are nominally Christian but haven\u2019t had their kids baptized yet. Dad (Ron Livingston) is a trucker and since this all takes place in the early \u201970s he\u2019s got remarkably, endearingly ugly styling\u2013he has the hairdo of a Lego figure and everything about his sad-sack looks says, \u201cTen-four, good buddy.\u201d The Warrens are *~*demonologists*~* who look like they comb their hair a lot. There\u2019s a bit at the beginning to tell us that Ed Warren is the only non-ordained priest recognized by the Vatican as a demonologist. As far as I can tell from a cursory google search there\u2019s no reason to believe this; it will become important when we get to the movie\u2019s most interesting feature.<\/p>\n

ANYWAY the Perrons\u2019 house is super haunted and the scares escalate in the usual order (although man, they kill the dog with a quickness). The Warrens arrive and gather evidence. There\u2019s a huge showdown and everybody goes flying around the room courtesy of DEMON POWER. The exorcism works but there\u2019s a creepy doll to set up the sequel.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing wrong with a formula done well, and the first half of The Conjuring<\/em> does the haunted-house formula quite well. I loved this family\u2013their casual, comfortable conflicts as they move in, their odd and dangerous variation on hide and go seek. I\u2019m going to yowl and hiss a bit about Valentine\u2019s Day in a moment, but of course marital love is wonderful, and this movie gives you a lovely tribute to what\u2019s good about heterosexuality before, you know, totally turning it into an idol<\/a>. The initial scares work well, especially when that hide-and-go-seek game gets a frightening new player; the house itself feels solid, and, as with Oculus<\/em><\/a>, you can always tell where things are happening even when they\u2019re off-screen. The tree which plays such a big role in the house\u2019s backstory is amazing, this huge three-fingered hand thrusting out of the earth. I\u2019ll always love a good tree.<\/p>\n

In the second half the Warrens take over and things start getting obnoxious. Bracketing any controversy over the real-life Warrens<\/a>, their characters here are the vehicle for a nominally extremely Catholic film to express its Protestant prejudices. At the film\u2019s climax, we\u2019re told that we can\u2019t wait for a priest to get there and perform the exorcism, so Ed Warren will have to do it himself. American practicality versus pointless Vatican rules! (DO NOT DO THIS, come on<\/em>.) And then what actually makes the exorcism work, what restores the possessed person to herself, is not the power of Jesus\u2019 name but the power of bourgeois family happiness. Lorraine Warren gets the possessed person to remember a happy family memory and that\u2019s what gives her the strength to kick the demon out.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to think of a better analogy for our secular celebration of the Feast of St Valentine, Bishop and Martyr, than the replacement of a celibate priest with a lay married couple, and the replacement of Jesus Christ with a family vacation.<\/p>\n

I realize this is criticism of the movie\u2019s worldview\u2013though it\u2019s also, I think, criticism of what the moviemakers think would be dramatic and emotional for the audience, have we learned nothing from The Exorcist<\/em>, even Americans are perfectly capable of being moved by actual Christ-centered Christianity\u2013but conveniently the back half of the movie is also more formulaic and less interesting in every other way. The characters no longer offer surprises, and the scares are more predictable.<\/p>\n

As a friend of mine said<\/a>,<\/p>\n

Roses are red,<\/p>\n

Hymns are melodious.<\/p>\n

Have a good feast<\/p>\n

Of Sts Cyril and Methodius.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cHaunted house\u201d image via Pixabay.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2026mostly for bad reasons. Spoilers below. The Conjuring, from Saw perpetrator James Wan, tells the story of two families: the Perrons, mom & dad plus five totally adorable daughters, and the Warrens, Ed and Lorraine and what Scripture would call their one ewe lamb. The Perrons are nominally Christian but haven\u2019t had their kids baptized […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1071,"featured_media":12118,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,7],"tags":[101,119,423],"class_list":["post-12112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-art","category-mackerel-snapping","tag-america","tag-horror","tag-satan-is-real"],"yoast_head":"\n"The Conjuring" Is a Perfect Valentine's Day Movie...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"...mostly for bad reasons. Spoilers below. The Conjuring, from Saw perpetrator James Wan, tells the story of two families: the Perrons, mom & dad plus\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\""The Conjuring" Is a Perfect Valentine's Day Movie...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"...mostly for bad reasons. Spoilers below. The Conjuring, from Saw perpetrator James Wan, tells the story of two families: the Perrons, mom & dad plus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Eve Tushnet\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-02-14T16:25:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-02-14T17:38:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/194\/2019\/02\/spooky-2693315_960_720.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"511\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Eve Tushnet\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Eve Tushnet\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html\",\"name\":\"\\\"The Conjuring\\\" Is a Perfect Valentine's Day Movie...\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2019-02-14T16:25:13+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-02-14T17:38:46+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415\"},\"description\":\"...mostly for bad reasons. Spoilers below. The Conjuring, from Saw perpetrator James Wan, tells the story of two families: the Perrons, mom & dad plus\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"“The Conjuring” Is a Perfect Valentine’s Day Movie…\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/\",\"name\":\"Eve Tushnet\",\"description\":\"Conservatism reborn in twisted sisterhood\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415\",\"name\":\"Eve Tushnet\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Eve Tushnet\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/author\/evetushnet\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"\"The Conjuring\" Is a Perfect Valentine's Day Movie...","description":"...mostly for bad reasons. Spoilers below. The Conjuring, from Saw perpetrator James Wan, tells the story of two families: the Perrons, mom & dad plus","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"\"The Conjuring\" Is a Perfect Valentine's Day Movie...","og_description":"...mostly for bad reasons. Spoilers below. The Conjuring, from Saw perpetrator James Wan, tells the story of two families: the Perrons, mom & dad plus","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html","og_site_name":"Eve Tushnet","article_published_time":"2019-02-14T16:25:13+00:00","article_modified_time":"2019-02-14T17:38:46+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":511,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/194\/2019\/02\/spooky-2693315_960_720.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Eve Tushnet","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Eve Tushnet","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html","name":"\"The Conjuring\" Is a Perfect Valentine's Day Movie...","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website"},"datePublished":"2019-02-14T16:25:13+00:00","dateModified":"2019-02-14T17:38:46+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415"},"description":"...mostly for bad reasons. Spoilers below. The Conjuring, from Saw perpetrator James Wan, tells the story of two families: the Perrons, mom & dad plus","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/02\/the-conjuring-is-a-perfect-valentines-day-movie.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"“The Conjuring” Is a Perfect Valentine’s Day Movie…"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/","name":"Eve Tushnet","description":"Conservatism reborn in twisted sisterhood","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415","name":"Eve Tushnet","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Eve Tushnet"},"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/author\/evetushnet"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12112","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1071"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12112"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12112\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12118"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}