{"id":13036,"date":"2019-12-17T14:46:09","date_gmt":"2019-12-17T18:46:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?p=13036"},"modified":"2019-12-17T15:35:05","modified_gmt":"2019-12-17T19:35:05","slug":"punishment-a-drinking-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2019\/12\/punishment-a-drinking-game.html","title":{"rendered":"Punishment: A Drinking Game"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Well, you guys know that I wrote a novel, and it has now been published. Was this a good idea? I don\u2019t know, are books usually? Because I am tackier than flypaper I did a drinking game for Gay and Catholic<\/em><\/a>, and now I offer one for Punishment: A Love Story<\/em> (ebook<\/a>, paperback<\/a>). Enjoy if you dare!*<\/p>\n

* Always read responsibly. This message brought to you by the Committee to Restore the Index.<\/p>\n

Take a drink\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

when Des tries to practice humility and achieves only ridiculousness.<\/p>\n

when Trash says something incredibly adorable and also dumber than a box of hair.<\/p>\n

when Ray Ray mentors Des and guides her through re-entry, whether intentionally or for fun.<\/p>\n

when Toya says something important and nobody notices.<\/p>\n

for every Gen X cultural reference, e.g. \u201cthe damaged, uncommunicative sex of the Riot Grrrl era\u201d; \u201cfading from her own life like that girl in the painting in The Witches<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

for every romantic description of addiction, my lost beloved.<\/p>\n

for MARION BARRY, Mayor-for-Life (at least).<\/p>\n

for every instance of Significant Kneeling. (Don\u2019t miss the one with the werewolves!)<\/p>\n

for every stupid joke I made early on and then committed to even though it didn\u2019t really work, e.g. the werewolves, the Sycamore of 1812. #noragrats<\/p>\n

for \u201cMetrobus as polis.\u201d<\/p>\n

for off-label uses of a bathroom (e.g. spiritual, sexual, moral).<\/p>\n

for janitorial work as soulcraft.<\/p>\n

for making fun of Marxists.<\/p>\n

for making fun of Yale.<\/p>\n

for jokes where the punchline is child abuse<\/p>\n

\u2026or domestic violence! This book is a laugh a minute, let me tell you.<\/p>\n

every time I tell you exactly which plants are in this scene. Sweetgum, yucca, porcelainberry, I suddenly was all about naming plants in this book.<\/p>\n

every time I make fun of California. Sorry, Californians, I leaned heavily on your stereotypes here. I genuinely like LA<\/a>!<\/p>\n

every time I name a real figure skater: John Curry<\/a>, Robin Cousins<\/a>, Rory Flack Burghart<\/a>, Michelle Kwan<\/a>, Kristi Yamaguchi<\/a>, Katarina Witt<\/a>, Debi Thomas<\/a>, Tonya Harding<\/a>. (I think that\u2019s everyone.) ETA: Plushenko<\/a>!<\/p>\n

every time people think the US (or French) criminal justice system sounds sexy.<\/p>\n

and on a related note\u2026 whenever people try to do something through sex that they should probably do through talking to each other.<\/p>\n

whenever people try to do something through sex that they should probably do through talking to a therapist.<\/p>\n

whenever people try to do something through sex that they should probably do through talking to God.<\/p>\n

Drain your drink\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

when they actually do talk to God\u2013that\u2019s when you know it\u2019s getting bad.<\/p>\n

whenever punishment or humiliation leads to sublimity.<\/p>\n

every time Fang\u2019s band\u2019s name changes.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, you guys know that I wrote a novel, and it has now been published. Was this a good idea? I don\u2019t know, are books usually? Because I am tackier than flypaper I did a drinking game for Gay and Catholic, and now I offer one for Punishment: A Love Story (ebook, paperback). Enjoy if […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1071,"featured_media":12985,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[172,52,1444],"class_list":["post-13036","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-obsessed","tag-every-day-is-self-parody-day","tag-if-whiskey-were-a-woman-id-be-married-for-sure","tag-punishment-a-love-story"],"yoast_head":"\nPunishment: A Drinking Game<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Well, you guys know that I wrote a novel, and it has now been published. Was this a good idea? I don't know, are books usually? 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