{"id":5951,"date":"2012-06-29T14:10:17","date_gmt":"2012-06-29T18:10:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?p=5951"},"modified":"2012-06-29T16:20:36","modified_gmt":"2012-06-29T20:20:36","slug":"also-apparently-his-eyes-fire-lasers-like-a-shark-you-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2012\/06\/also-apparently-his-eyes-fire-lasers-like-a-shark-you-know.html","title":{"rendered":"Also, apparently his eyes fire lasers. Like a shark, you know?"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/members\/John%20Cheese\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">John Cheese<\/a> is a writer for Cracked whom I have praised to you people many times. I linked to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/blog\/the-5-reasons-marriage-scares-men-arent-what-you-think\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">this piece<\/a> in my AmCon piece about the problems with the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theamericanconservative.com\/articles\/divorce-dilemma\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">\u201cdivorce counterrevolution\u201d<\/a> and I\u2019ve linked several of his other <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/blog\/5-ways-you-know-its-time-to-get-married\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">marriage<\/a>\/<a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/blog\/5-terrible-things-you-cant-stop-your-children-from-doing\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">parenting<\/a>\/<a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/blog\/4-old-sayings-about-family-that-are-sometimes-b.s.\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">family<\/a>\/uh\u2026 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/blog\/5-ways-we-ruined-occupy-wall-street-generation\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">other stuff<\/a>-related articles at <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.marriagedebate.com\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">MarriageDebate<\/a> (which by the way you should all be following). Plus he\u2019s provided me and my friends with a lot of much-needed gallows humor:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/article_19030_quitting-smoking-6-things-you-notice-about-stupid-world.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">\u201cQuitting Smoking: Six Things You Notice About the Stupid World\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/article_18824_5-things-nobody-tells-you-about-quitting-drinking.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">\u201cFive Things Nobody Tells You About Quitting Drinking\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/article_19010_5-ways-to-avoid-your-terrible-parents-mistakes.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">\u201cFive Ways to Avoid Your Terrible Parents\u2019 Mistakes\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n<p>and much much more!<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, at the moment <a href=\"http:\/\/johncheesecracked.tumblr.com\/post\/25847793597\/a-plea-for-help\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">he could really use your help<\/a>. You\u2019ll have until Sunday and, as he says, any extra cash he gets will be donated to his kids\u2019 school. I\u2019m posting this so you guys can discover his writing if you haven\u2019t already, and maybe kick in a few shekels. (Obviously he writes for Cracked &amp; his humor is black-and-blue. So don\u2019t complain to me about the cussing.)<\/p>\n<p>ETA: <a href=\"http:\/\/johncheesecracked.tumblr.com\/post\/26148899562\/final-update\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Update<\/a>!<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>John Cheese is a writer for Cracked whom I have praised to you people many times. I linked to this piece in my AmCon piece about the problems with the \u201cdivorce counterrevolution\u201d and I\u2019ve linked several of his other marriage\/parenting\/family\/uh\u2026 other stuff-related articles at MarriageDebate (which by the way you should all be following). Plus [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1071,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[17,78,52,99,29],"class_list":["post-5951","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-children-will-listen","tag-home-is-anywhere-you-hang-your-head","tag-if-whiskey-were-a-woman-id-be-married-for-sure","tag-john-cheese","tag-marriage-2"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Also, apparently his eyes fire lasers. Like a shark, you know?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"John Cheese is a writer for Cracked whom I have praised to you people many times. I linked to this piece in my AmCon piece about the problems with the\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2012\/06\/also-apparently-his-eyes-fire-lasers-like-a-shark-you-know.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Also, apparently his eyes fire lasers. Like a shark, you know?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"John Cheese is a writer for Cracked whom I have praised to you people many times. 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