{"id":6671,"date":"2013-01-08T21:35:12","date_gmt":"2013-01-09T01:35:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?p=6671"},"modified":"2013-01-08T21:35:12","modified_gmt":"2013-01-09T01:35:12","slug":"but-its-self-absorbed-when-elizabeth-wurtzel-says-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/01\/but-its-self-absorbed-when-elizabeth-wurtzel-says-it.html","title":{"rendered":"But it&#8217;s self-absorbed when Elizabeth Wurtzel says it!"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>I included this as a link in my previous Wurtzel post but I think it\u2019s worth reprinting an old blog post. I liked Andrew Cherlin\u2019s book quite a bit, but he did this several times:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>As other lifestyles become more acceptable, you must choose whether to get married and whether to have children. You develop your own sense of self by continually examining your situation, reflecting on it, and deciding whether to alter your behavior as a result. People pay attention to their experiences and make changes in their lives if they are not satisfied. They want to continue to grow and change throughout adulthood.<\/strong><br>\n\u2013Andrew Cherlin, <em>Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Notice how the last two sentences say exactly opposite things! Throughout this book (which is generally good), Cherlin uses \u201cgrow and change\u201d to mean \u201cplace preexisting wants and personality traits above role and obligation.\u201d It\u2019s kind of obvious that sticking it out, placing role and obligation first, might change you more\u2013challenge you more, certainly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>(<a href=\"http:\/\/eve-tushnet.blogspot.com\/2009_06_01_archive.html#3896188601404897017\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">original link<\/a>)<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I included this as a link in my previous Wurtzel post but I think it\u2019s worth reprinting an old blog post. I liked Andrew Cherlin\u2019s book quite a bit, but he did this several times: As other lifestyles become more acceptable, you must choose whether to get married and whether to have children. You develop [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1071,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[211,29,123,81],"class_list":["post-6671","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-grind-the-axe","tag-marriage-2","tag-we-make-an-idol-of-our-fear-and-call-it-choice","tag-wherever-you-go-there-you-are"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>But it&#039;s self-absorbed when Elizabeth Wurtzel says it!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I included this as a link in my previous Wurtzel post but I think it&#039;s worth reprinting an old blog post. I liked Andrew Cherlin&#039;s book quite a bit, but\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/01\/but-its-self-absorbed-when-elizabeth-wurtzel-says-it.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"But it&#039;s self-absorbed when Elizabeth Wurtzel says it!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I included this as a link in my previous Wurtzel post but I think it&#039;s worth reprinting an old blog post. 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